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Which 'Rotund Thespian Beast' Was Relunctantly Mounted By A Coked Up Waiter?
Posted by Molly Friedman at 10:45 AM on May 28, 2008
Who doesn't adore blind items? True, many are snoozy ("Which unmarried local newscaster is totally making out with his assistant!?!"), but when the sneaky item involves "rotund actresses," "cocaine-fuelled romps," and name-calling on the level of "this beast," we are all over it. In today's NY Daily News, those lovable married gossips Rush & Molloy serve up one of the juiciest Just Askings we've seen in some time:
Which rotund actress had a romantic rendezvous with a waiter - but only after the server's boss promised him free food and drinks if he "went the extra mile" to keep the thespian happy? One cocaine-fuelled romp later, and the waiter has yet to see his payoff. "I slept with the beast for this?" he complained.
Naturally we present some of the front runners for you, the loyal Defamer audience, after the jump. As always, your guesses are not only encouraged, but expected!
Our guesses and why:
Camryn Manheim: Okay, Camryn has made a career of proudly declaring how beautiful she is, and we have to agree. That said, she doesn't necessarily strike us as the cocaine type.
Nikki Blonsky: Love her, adore her, want to tuck her inside our pocket and pluck her out whenever we've got the blues. She seems pretty straight-laced, but all that perkiness can't be natural ... can it?
Jennifer Hudson: Again, when we're feeling down, we will dig up our copy of Dreamgirls and fast-forward (who are we kidding - we've got that scene's time-stamp memorized) to "And I Am Telling You," cry our little heart out and feel just fine. But, we must admit, the story fits J. Hud.
But enough about us...what do you think about us the rotundee in question?
- SIDE DISH [NYDN]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Transuranic
Posted 6:29 AM 29/5/08
Raymond Burr; lifetime supply of moon pies.
(these kinda write themselves)
Transuranic
Transuranic
Posted 6:27 AM 29/5/08
James Gandolfini; Olive Garden.
Transuranic
Transuranic
Posted 6:25 AM 29/5/08
Bruce Vilanch; In-N-Out.
/me goes to purge my lunch now thanks
Transuranic
gaynyernbama
Posted 6:21 AM 29/5/08
Also, you can't call a black girl a beast unless you want a beat down. I think this blind item is limited to white beasts only or America Ferrera...
gaynyernbama
Merkin
Posted 6:10 AM 29/5/08
What, no love for Kathy Najimy?
Merkin
Muscato
Posted 3:50 AM 29/5/08
I'm thinking Kathleen, too, if only because, at least according to her reviews in London, Liza's looking more '65 Judy than '58 Judy these days...
Muscato
Mark Graham
Posted 3:34 AM 29/5/08
@hughman: Never would've thought of this before, but after reading the item again, methinks you might be onto something. After reading it again with KT in mind, the "thespian" reference could be referring to her work in plays. Nicely done.
Mark Graham
TwiceShy
Posted 3:26 AM 29/5/08
@marmay: That waiter definitely went in the back Alley.
TwiceShy
Sir Winston Thriller
Posted 3:22 AM 29/5/08
Doris Roberts. Power top, you know.
Sir Winston Thriller
LuciaKremlin
Posted 2:44 AM 29/5/08
hillary clinton
LuciaKremlin
fuddes
Posted 2:38 AM 29/5/08
Roseanne Barr.
fuddes
sassypants
Posted 2:36 AM 29/5/08
@Whinemaker: I thought the same thing! I loathe that woman. I have no good reason for hating her, but, I do anyway.
sassypants
stillinme
Posted 2:16 AM 29/5/08
Totally thought "Kristie Alley" as I read the blurb..
stillinme
IKnowThings
Posted 1:03 AM 29/5/08
Not Jennifer Hudson. She's got the high school sweetheart boyfriend and she's all into Jesus and stuff.
IKnowThings
CourageousCoward
Posted 12:46 AM 29/5/08
Stifler's Mom! (Jennifer Coolidge) [www.hollywoodjesus.com]
CourageousCoward
Mr. Praline
Posted 12:19 AM 29/5/08
Gene Simmons.
Mr. Praline
jeanutters
Posted 11:42 PM 28/5/08
@marmay: OMG TOTALLY Kirstie Alley. Jennifer Hudson is so hot--not beastly!!!
jeanutters
toolman6900
Posted 11:31 PM 28/5/08
Come on, Kirstie Alley? She looks hot! They did say "thespian"...I'm thinking Ashlie Atkinson.
toolman6900
ObtuseIntolerant
Posted 11:00 PM 28/5/08
I don't think J-Hud. She's too hot; and big (she's not even that big) is beautiful to a lot of us Browns (and I can't see her macking on some hipster, model-by-day bartender who would think otherwise).
Nikki Blonsky however, I can see having a crazy streak based in low self-esteem. Like the time she made Zac Efron french kiss her on daytime TV. Yuck.
ObtuseIntolerant
torpor
Posted 9:52 PM 28/5/08
Manheim Steamroller.
torpor
tbolt
Posted 9:26 PM 28/5/08
John Travolta.
tbolt
regisgoat
Posted 8:28 PM 28/5/08
Mannheim was Kresge College, UCSC, and you don't straighten out after a few years of that. Gotta be Liza.
regisgoat
ThisIsEverything
Posted 4:49 PM 28/5/08
Kathleen Turner.
ThisIsEverything
subversivesquirrel
Posted 3:28 PM 28/5/08
Oprah. 'nuff said.
subversivesquirrel
raincoaster
Posted 3:19 PM 28/5/08
Rosie O'Donnell.
raincoaster
Rey
Posted 1:35 PM 28/5/08
Liza. With a Z.
Rey
el smrtmnky
Posted 1:31 PM 28/5/08
dame judy dench
el smrtmnky
Whinemaker
Posted 12:29 PM 28/5/08
For some reason, that Marissa Jaret Winokur, from Dancing w/ the Stars keeps popping in my head - even tho' I think she's married ...
Whinemaker
Victor Ward
Posted 12:27 PM 28/5/08
Elizabeth Taylor.
The restaurant was Red Lobster, wasn't it.
Victor Ward
Old No.7
Posted 12:19 PM 28/5/08
Britney Spears?
Old No.7
jason1007
Posted 12:14 PM 28/5/08
@hughman: haha, yes! that's what i was thinking!
jason1007
WGARefugee
Posted 12:12 PM 28/5/08
@marmay: Couldn't be her: nothing in the story about crampons.
WGARefugee
hughman
Posted 12:05 PM 28/5/08
kathleen turner.
hughman
Miss Anne Thrope
Posted 11:54 AM 28/5/08
I thought Manheim batted for the other team.
Miss Anne Thrope
marmay
Posted 11:53 AM 28/5/08
Kirstie Alley, of course.
marmay
Benovite
Posted 11:46 AM 28/5/08
Rotund Thespian Beast=Britney Spears
Hey she did some sort of variation of acting in something called Crossroads didn't she?
Benovite
DefeatedAnOfficer
Posted 10:24 PM 28/5/08
Mo'Nique?
DefeatedAnOfficer