Unlocking the Secrets of the Best and Worst Movie Titles in History
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 8:15 AM on May 13, 2008
Apart from the bold statements by movie-titling consultants about the high importance of... movie-titling consultants ("When movie titles don't work, studios are leaving potential earnings on the table," says one), Josh Friedman's LA Times survey of movie titles lost, found, revised and re-revised yields a handful of worthwhile historical nuggets we'd never surmised. Like Annie Hall was originally named Anhedonia — "a term for the inability to experience pleasure" — and our beloved Beverly Hills Chihuahua was conceived with the weak-arse working title South of the Border. After the jump, the experts show off with the good and the bad, and we leave the ugly up to your fertile imaginations.
One of the most notorious examples of a missed opportunity because of an ill-chosen title was The Shawshank Redemption, the 1994 prison drama starring Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman. The film was lauded by critics but landed with a thud at the box office. More recently, the Russell Crowe boxing saga Cinderella Man and the futuristic thriller Children of Men also failed to capitalise on strong reviews, in part because of titles widely seen as turn-offs. ...
The best titles, such as Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark and Pulp Fiction, are "sonorous," [consultant Seth] Lockhart says. "They just sound right — appealing to your emotions and your senses." Although an awkwardly named movie usually won't reach its box-office potential, Lockhart points to exceptions such as the Hugh Grant comedy Love, Actually, a hit despite a title he calls stilted.
For our money, no film was titled better than the Beastie Boys' Earth-shattering 2006 concert opus Awesome; I Fuckin' Shot That (the first title in history to engage a semicolon), and we have yet to find any film with a worse title than Emily Hubley's recent festival darling The Toe Tactic. Awful. And of course, none of this takes into consideration anything in Ira Isaacs' fine scat-fetish oeuvre. Anyway, you can persuade us on either front — what is in a name, anyway?

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Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 8:57 AM 13/5/08
"Keep the Aspidistra Flying"
WTF is Aspidistra and why is it my responsibility that it continues to fly? I have enough on my plate, thanks.
Little Mintz Sunshine
heidiho
Posted 8:53 AM 13/5/08
Do TV movies count? Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? is pretty awesome.
Oh, and that new Sandler movie You Don't Mess With The Zohan has the worst title ever. How did that get approved?
heidiho
Hallux Valgus
Posted 8:48 AM 13/5/08
Surf Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain is obviously the best movie title of all time.
Hallux Valgus
pureblarney
Posted 8:44 AM 13/5/08
That Ashley Judd/Hugh Jackman movie Someone Like You was originally titled Animal Husbandry. That movie I would have seen.
pureblarney
blackheartededitor
Posted 8:43 AM 13/5/08
"Scat Fetish," starring Julia Roberts and Shia LaBoeuf, in theaters this fall.
blackheartededitor
kookla
Posted 8:42 AM 13/5/08
Phantom Menace, anyone?
kookla
Leviticus_71
Posted 8:40 AM 13/5/08
Granny is a Tranny. Hands down winner of best title.
Leviticus_71
Dr. Spaceman
Posted 8:37 AM 13/5/08
I still possess a fondness for The Rural Juror, and no consultant shall divest me of it.
Dr. Spaceman
emberglance
Posted 9:08 AM 13/5/08
The Last Mimzy. Apart from the fact that "mimsy" sounds like a Victorian euphemism for lady parts, this title implies a string of previous mimzies and, I dunno... I guess I haven't seen it. Maybe it's accurate.
Also, Gorillas in the Mist. Terrible title - what about gorillas in the mist, Sigourney? I suppose I never saw that either, though, so it might all make sense.
emberglance
Conbon
Posted 9:06 AM 13/5/08
Rush Hour. Why the hell is Rush Hour called Rush Hour?
Conbon
PaisleyPajamas
Posted 9:39 AM 13/5/08
More recently, the Russell Crowe boxing saga Cinderella Man and the futuristic thriller Children of Men also failed to capitalize on strong reviews, in part because of titles widely seen as turn-offs.
So they're saying that it's got to be a manly title, or it's a turn off? Wow. That's really stoooopid.
I take it these two titles threaten subliminal messages that cause uncontrolled urges to manscape body hair and watch HGTV?
PaisleyPajamas
Hallux Valgus
Posted 9:38 AM 13/5/08
Ecks vs. Sever? yes, yes it was.
But I've got to agree with above. Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? sounds like a Smashing Pumpkins record. And I swear to god that thing's still on cable once a week.
Hallux Valgus
Desk_hack
Posted 9:34 AM 13/5/08
What was that Antonio Banderas one, Battlestar vs Ecks? Barista vs Ecks? Something clunky and horrid.
Desk_hack
mattymcd
Posted 10:13 AM 13/5/08
K-19: The Widowmaker, hands down.
@Dr. Spaceman: I'm partial to Roar Her, Gem Her and Oral Germ Whore myself.
mattymcd
Cultmember
Posted 9:45 AM 13/5/08
A Quantum of Solace. And it's not even out yet.
Cultmember
juniperjenny
Posted 4:14 PM 13/5/08
I like the title "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead", but I don't think it accurately described what the movie was about. It should have been something like "Don't Tell Mom I'm Posing As a Fashion Executive Assistant".
I also like "Spiderbaby," because it appropriately has very little to do with the movie. Although the movie has very little to do with the movie.
juniperjenny
freakalina
Posted 3:06 AM 14/5/08
I've always hated the title "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" followed only by their horrendously designed poster...
[upload.wikimedia.org]
freakalina
kylo4
Posted 8:07 AM 14/5/08
Snakes on a Plane anybody?
Some titles are obscure and do well (not including Snakes on a Plane).
kylo4