Top Five Most Cringeworthy Facial Hair Moments In Cinematic History
Posted by Molly Friedman at 8:15 AM on May 15, 2008
We didn't think it was possible, but the insanely dateable John Krasinski is not looking so hot these days. Due to an upcoming role in the Sam Mendes-directed Farlanders, John is sporting a nasty beard that resembles something one of the Geico cavemen would wear. And while we'd never judge an actor for tossing out their razors for months for the sake of their craft, this terrible beard inspired us to take a look back at the most cringeworthy facial hair in cinematic history. From one actor's frizzy salt-and-pepper rat's nest to one mustache's journey inside another man's taint, our top five lie after the jump:

Though most Napoleon Dynamite obsessives instinctively recall that Napoleon envied Pedro's ability to quickly grow a mustache, we were far more grossed out by Kip Dynamite's stringy gelled strip. As for Daniel Day Lewis' portrayal of Bill the Butcher in Gangs Of New York, his Dali 'stache served to heighten the character's intimidation factor. And of course, there was poor Tom Hanks, whose Castaway role forced him to grow out a tangled mess of curls covering his entire mug. Though really, we feel sorrier for wife Rita Wilson. Shudder.

Insisting for months that he would only appear as Borat in public and during interviews, jet-black puffy 'stache and all, Sacha Baron Cohen claims he "woke up one morning and was quite hung over, and I accidentally shaved my mustache off.". But topping our list of the most horrendous facial hair grown for a movie role is the most tragic tale of all. After spending months growing out a woolly, scraggly beard for a role in Darren Aronofsky's sci-fi bomb The Fountain, Brad Pitt abruptly quit the picture and started work on another bomb, Troy. Rumours that Brad just couldn't jibe with Aronofsky's script abounded, but some suspected he just couldn't stand sporting that greasy uncomfortable mop on his face for so long.

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
lizzie
Posted May 16, 2008 9:46 PM
Personally i think brad pitt looks far better WITH the beard, very biker.
Liddy
Posted May 23, 2008 4:36 AM
What has two thumbs and would nail a bearded Krasinki? THIS girl!
bess marvin, girl detective
Posted 9:35 AM 14/5/08
where's liza minnelli and star jones. i mean, those are cringeworthy beards, non?
bess marvin, girl detective
RocketRockit
Posted 9:33 AM 14/5/08
Oh, JimJohn HalpertKrasinski, you are far too baby-faced for facial hair. DAMN YOU, SAM MENDES!!!
RocketRockit
raincoaster
Posted 9:30 AM 14/5/08
I dunno. Seen Viggo Mortensen in Carlito's Way or Albino Alligator?
raincoaster
hummingpenguin
Posted 10:30 AM 14/5/08
I saw JK and I was like "whoa, no, beard, stop, bad, ack!" It was a very visceral reaction. He must lose it right now.
hummingpenguin
KLondike5
Posted 11:40 AM 14/5/08
@raincoaster: Or, less popularly, Alatriste or the one he's filming now, "The Road"? He's leaving a whole cinematic legacy of creepy porn staches and gnarly beards. John Krasinski is just a karate kid to Viggo's facial hair Mr. Miyagi.
KLondike5
bonniegrrl
Posted 11:27 AM 14/5/08
Does this mean the Top Five Most Sexiest Back Hair Moments in Cinematic History is next?
May I be the first to nominate this guy?
[www.starwars.com]
bonniegrrl
TurdBlossom
Posted 3:15 AM 15/5/08
@bess marvin, girl detective: What? No KatE Holmes?
TurdBlossom