Tom Cruise Image-Reclamation Campaign Targets Baby Stores, Google Users
With his dreams of an eye-patched, SS-uniformed Oscar statuette slipping through his Hitler-hunting fingers, and his billion-year war bride having successfully sanded through her reinforced-leather ankle restraints and hightailed it to the Great White Way, Tom Cruise has responded to the steady unravelling of his meticulously constructed, intergalactic Camelot in the only logical fashion: by attempting to reclaim his own image. Beyond the "Take Back The Tom" campus marches planned around the country (ours meets at the Celebrity Centre quad at 10), the NY Daily News is reporting that reps for the UA minimogul have fired off a Scary Hollywood Lawyer letter to millionaire-baby-outfitter Petit Trésor. Claiming they told Life & Style that the couple bought Suri $400,000's worth of high-thread-count swaddling cloths and ruby-encrusted platinum rattles (or enough to feed, heal, and clothe every child in Africa until 2069), the letter asserted that the sum was "simply false," "violates our clients' rights of privacy," and that the couple would therefore "request that you no longer use our clients as part of your public relations and marketing efforts."
Meanwhile, the Gossiplist blog is wondering why the actor has purchased Google ads attempting to herd random internet searchers towards his newly launched vanity site, TomCruise.com. (The Official, Tom Cruise-Authorized Repository of All Things Tom Cruise!™) While we'd never deny Cruise the right to promote his various web-ventures, something in the modest, three-line buy seems somewhat unbefitting a star of his stature. We only fear we don't next find the actor's head grafted to the body of a woman doing the Charleston and asking us if we know our credit scores.
- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes pitch fit at tot shop [NY Daily News]
- Why is Tom Cruise buying Google Ads? [Gossiplist]
3:32 AM on Sat May 24 2008
by Seth
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If Mr. Cruise keep making movies that supremely suck...he won't have to worry about his privacy...because nobody will give a fuck...
What he NEEDS to do is get back with Rebecca (the woman who broke his heart and started him on his decent to losing his damn mind)...and start doing some post-production for "Risky Business - Part Deux"...
I'm just saying...
Lala11_7
And people claim that no aliens live among us.
rockogre
@NotReadyForPrimeTime: This is what I was wondering, too. If you want total privacy, why shop at a public store that releases the names of its famous shoppers? Have they never heard of sending the assistant?
Besides, they're known to pimp out their spending habits via press release, so there's hardly an expectation of privacy.
What I really want to know is, why are they driving Suri around in a big hearse?
raincoaster
Obviously this is too geeky but it's not a SS uniform, just a Wehrmacht [regular army] one. What's odd about the oft shown pic is that he's not wearing any decorations. Not that there's much hope for "Springtime for Hitler, Winter for Top Gun" anyway---if there's anything has funny as "Where's my Little Joe?", it'll be unintentional.
wharfrat
Tom's thetans are in a twist again? Girlfriend needs a vaycay.
misterdirk
Forgot to add, how is filing a lawsuit going to rehabilitate Tom's image? He already has a reputation as a tiny tyrant who sues at the drop of a hat--how does this help him?
@NoWireHangers: I would be too scared to go to that Tom Cruise website--it would probably unleash a torrent of harassment from his CO$ goons.
NotReadyForPrimeTime
Why does the phrase "get the real scoop" sound so frickin' ominous in that context? Getting the real scoop from Tom Cruise somehow conjures up images of an intergalactic mega-spoon and my chilled brains on an ice cream cone.
Oh, and Seth - I loves yoo.
Sweet Panda Love
If the $400,000 reported is "simply false," how can it also be a violation of privacy?
NotReadyForPrimeTime
since when does shopping in a store give you a "right to privacy"? grow up Thumbalina.
hughman
I just visited the "official site" and I can safely say that the music therein can only be described as the soundtrack for Xenu Intergalactic Airport as played by John Tesh on a synthesizer from 1981 with a dollop of Cruise dialogue on top. I feel like I'm on a moving sidewalk to OT 9.
NoWireHangers