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Special Eurovision Report (Part Four)
Posted by Jess McGuire at 7:19 PM on May 21, 2008
More AMAZING Eurovision commentary from our Euro Correspondent Will - ED
GREECE TO WIN, THE OTHERS CAN PACK UP AND GO HOME NOW, or, MEASURED REMARKS ON THE FIRST SEMIFINAL FOR EUROVISION 2008
Here are my faintly hysterical thoughts on some of the finalist countries that qualified via last night's first semifinal:
1. Greece! AMAZING!
This little scamp is Kalomoira, a North American of Greek extraction who, failing to realise success in the music industry in the US and Canada, promptly packed her bags for the "land of her people" where she is a giant, if supremely irritating, star. Highlights of her campaign to represent her country so far include publicly alleging that the Greek national broadcaster ERT had sought to undermine her performance and chances of winning by providing faulty wind machines at the Greek national final (entertainingly, this resulted in Kalomoira being informed by ERT that she was not to give any more interviews without an ERT representative present).
When I heard this song for the first time several months ago, my immediate reaction to a song called "My Secret Combination" was that the staging should involve a giant combination safe, which the delightful Kalomoira would have to be released from - perhaps by the dancers - USING HER "SECRET COMBINATION". Oh, I entertain myself so. Anyway, I grudgingly admit that the presentation of this song was far better than anything I could have come up with myself. This was by far the strongest performance last night. Basically, Bitch. Tore. It. Up. This performance also contains the best dancing in a Eurovision entry that I can remember in the past 10 years.
2. After last night's shambles I am struggling to understand why Russia is tipped to win the whole thing this year.
Yes, this was produced by Timbaland and yes, Dima Bilan (something of a Eurovision veteran after coming second in 2006) is appealing in a post-Bel Ami-career sort of way. But this performance is profoundly embarrassing and really not up to the standard of some of the other entries this year. Although Russia has so many post-Soviet nation friends that will vote for this song regardless of its quality (Belarus, I am looking particularly at you), I will be nevertheless furious if this wins. Shirt-ripping is involved here if that's any good for you.
3. Bosnia and Herzegovina made it through, which is quite edifying given the overall strangeness of the song and performance. I wrote about this one already but here is what happened at the semi last night:
* Many brides!
* Interesting "jupe"!
* Singer popping out of a basket!
* Washing line on stage!
Wonderful.
4. Armenia qualified too! This is Sirusho with Qele Qele:
Everyone enjoys a little frock with fringing and some frantic frugging around, do they not? A very strong performance, this could be top 5 at the final.
5. I'm not sure quite what to say about Teräsbetoni of Finland except: look at the hot half naked baldy!
People will invariably bang on about how it's good that this has qualified as it opens the contest up to a wider range of people. I look forward to such discussionzzzzzzzz
And the scandals:
1. Ireland and their ugly turkey puppet didn't qualify! Neither did the unpleasant Estonian entry! GOOD RIDDANCE TO SPASTIC NOVELTY SONGS WE WILL HAVE NO MORE OF THIS IN FUTURE PLEASE
Here is the Irish performance from last night, if you absolutely must:
Wow
2. POOR ANDORRA MISSED OUT TOO. I fucking KNEW this was to happen! She was so competent, the Gisela! Until Greece pwned everything at the end, this was in the lead as far as I was concerned:
3. Belgium missing out can't really be called a scandal given the fact that nobody ever votes for poor little Belgium these days, but I still think you will enjoy their song O Julissi, which last night appeared to have been performed by the glorious Julia Zemiro:
Comments
brenkun
Posted May 21, 2008 10:55 PM
william has asked me for comment and thus i do.
My comments…Greece. BORING. Its just such a monotonous tune and if that's good dancing then I worry about the standard you measure good against. She could have basically just left her breasts on stage for 3 mins and it would have had pretty much the same effect as what I just saw. Lets be honest.
Russia. What a disappointing song but 12 points for the boy. And the ripping open of shirt was just hilarity. What the f**k was that ice skating routine all about – original I'll give it that but of all the hot male ice skaters in Russia they had to choose the ugly version of Fabio. And instant points lost for musical instrument on stage. And another ugly Fabio playing that. Sheesh. And those high notes weren't notes but screams. Lets leave those for Shayne Ward shall we?
B+H. They made it through?!?! Well there was a washing line and brides knitting after that crazy wench took their bouquets and threw them all away. Odd.
Armenia confused me cos it seemed to be dubbed over so she wasn't singing when she should have been and vice versa…but a nice little ditty. Better than Greece's I believe.
What is with Finland and their very nasty metal songs if you can call them that. How does that get through?!?!
Was she at pre Eurovision? I have heard that song before and I like to bop along to it. I can NOT believe that she didn't make it – her costume alone should have pulled her through. How Finland got through becomes even more perplexing…
Belgium – I couldn't even watch a minute of that tired walking mint candy. And then the harmonies (but they weren't really harmonies more like cats screeching) started and I had to pull the plug. Thank Christ the rest of Europe agreed.
cant wait til saturday!
Mel
Posted May 22, 2008 10:35 AM
That Ireland turkey - I mean, couldn't they have made it another bird in order to head off the inevitable "what a turkey" jokes? I was speechless with disgust. There was nothing good about it whatsoever. The puppet looks like a Skeksis from The Dark Crystal and the song was so mystifyingly bad that not even an ironic interpretation can save it. What is with Ireland, they can never get this contest right.
alexandra
Posted June 1, 2008 11:33 PM
To brenkun
Im a dancer and trust me Greece's choreography is outsanding and very difficult! I watch Eurovision every year and i think it was the best performance ive seen in many years!
By the way I hate the russian song and especially Dima Bilan, but just to let you know that hilarious ugly ice skater happens to be Evgeny Plushenko, the best ice skater the world has seen in many years
Alexander
Posted June 1, 2008 11:39 PM
WOW Greece gave an impressive perfomance that should have won! The girl was so talented on stage smiling all the time & the song was so catchy, a potential summer hit i'd say. (no need to worry why it enters the UK Singles Chart & a couple of others in Europe).
Russia was a disappointment. "Never let you go" was miles better in 2006 (Athens). But in 2006 Scandinavians & the rest of Europe supported the monsters & he lost the 1st spot. Also, there weren't so many ex-soviet countries that year. Unlike, in 2008 all soviet block gave high points to Russia's Diva while they ignored Ukraine, Armenia & Greece. Especially the latter which doesn't belong to that block voting. It's a shame!
Ukraine Greece & Armenia were clearly the best entries. And western europe voted for them & not for Russia' horrible "diva", whom i really doubt he will success outside ex-soviet states.