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See Heidi Swat Lauren: A David Letterman 'Hills' Primer
Posted by Seth at 4:10 AM on May 2, 2008
It's time to salute David Letterman, who continues to do a great service for us, the non-Hills watcher with only a vague idea of what the hell's going on with that inexplicably popular program. Thanks to the Reality TV Catfight Reform Act of 2007, Heidi Montag was granted equal Late Show broadcast time to that of Lauren Conrad, whereupon she too was grilled by Dave on the ins and outs of their feud. Apparently, the MacGuffin propelling much of this season's warfare was a much-discussed, but yet-to-surface sex tape starring Conrad and her former lover.
It's time to salute David Letterman, who continues to do a great service for us, the non-Hills watcher with only a vague idea of what the hell's going on with that inexplicably popular program. Thanks to the Reality TV Catfight Reform Act of 2007, Heidi Montag was granted equal Late Show broadcast time to
In total fairness, we think it's now time to hear the men's side of the story, at which point we think we'll have all the evidence required to adequately draw our conclusions: That means not only an appearance by Montag's oily albino fiancé Spencer Pratt, but also Conrad's beer-bloated, recidivist ex-boyfriend, Jason Wahler. (From his MySpace profile: "Jason Wahler®'s Interests: girls, baseball, basketball, hockey, surfing, skim boardin, music, chillin, watching tv, partys. Like i said typical guy.")
- Late Show [cbs.com]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Monsieur.Mind
Posted 4:49 AM 2/5/08
Wait, is she explaining what's going on on the show? Or in her life? (I don't watch the show, or have any clue about anything; I live in a closet.)
Monsieur.Mind
TurdBlossom
Posted 4:46 AM 2/5/08
Jason is like, totally deep.
TurdBlossom
A Pimp Named DaveR
Posted 4:42 AM 2/5/08
All the typical guys I know register their names as trademarks.
A Pimp Named DaveR
guitarsnob
Posted 4:39 AM 2/5/08
@monkeyrotica: Angelyne?
guitarsnob
guitarsnob
Posted 4:32 AM 2/5/08
I hate her. I hate her so much it makes me twitch.
Her horse-y face. Her horse-y teeth and the way she can't quite figure out how to fit her lips around them. Her wretched attempt at pop music and the cringe-inducing video that accompanied it. Her 'clothing line.' Her fame-whoring.
I want her to go away. I want people to stop taking her picture and stop inviting her to talk on camera. Please, people. For the children. For the good of the world.
guitarsnob
monkeyrotica
Posted 4:30 AM 2/5/08
WTF is she wearing? Last time I saw something like that, its wearer told me "math is hard" and drove off in a pink Corvette.
monkeyrotica
Da7e
Posted 4:29 AM 2/5/08
Outside of every time she mentions "the show" this exact conversation is happening in high schools across the nation between the gossipy blonde and the down-and-out cafeteria worker
Da7e
nitney
Posted 4:27 AM 2/5/08
Makes me long for the days from Dave's old morning show, when he interviewed the vending machines on the fifth floor.
nitney
Desk_hack
Posted 4:27 AM 2/5/08
...and then Dave went back into his office and shot himself.
Seriously, who's booking this show? The Hills ladies can't be that great for ratings.
Desk_hack
whitiris
Posted 4:25 AM 2/5/08
Poor David Letterman. First he's forced to make nice with Paris and now he has to sit through "interviews" with the wastes of oxygen and cocaine that are Heidi and Lauren. If this is a power move by CBS to try and get him to retire, then well played CBS. Well played.
whitiris
CourageousCoward
Posted 4:22 AM 2/5/08
Is there a, "Waiting for MacGuffin" joke in there somewhere? Probably not. Let's wait and see.
CourageousCoward
junkie
Posted 5:26 AM 2/5/08
LC and Heidi > Serena and Blair
junkie
Benovite
Posted 5:23 AM 2/5/08
"Hump me if I'm right"?? That's what Dave said.
Benovite
IKnowThings
Posted 6:12 AM 2/5/08
Why does she wear so much goddamned makeup? She really looks like a clown whore. I think I like the other one better because she doesn't wear so much makeup. But they both can go to hell.
IKnowThings
TryThisAtHome
Posted 6:42 AM 2/5/08
I tuned into Letterman right when this girl sat down. I had no idea who she was. She said about 10 words... and I woke up at 5. People! She's the world's gift to insomnia! Yay! Is it me, or does she look like a caucasion version of one of those trampy Bratz dolls?
TryThisAtHome
Benovite
Posted 6:29 AM 2/5/08
Clown whore/Christina Aguilera
Benovite
WasatchMan
Posted 7:37 AM 2/5/08
"The Hills" is professional wrestling with breasts and bad dye-jobs.
WasatchMan
heidiho
Posted 10:15 AM 2/5/08
@WasatchMan: So then it's just professional wrestling?
heidiho
Lulamaybelle
Posted 3:30 PM 2/5/08
Why does she insist on dressing like the cast if the real houswives of Orange County?!
Lulamaybelle
jwick25
Posted 3:40 AM 3/5/08
Is she wearing something from her new clothing line?
jwick25
MessyMortal
Posted 4:56 PM 5/5/08
I miss the old days when Dave, clad in a trenchcoat with huge pockets filled with corn chips, would be suspended by wires over a humonguous vat of cheese dip on the stage, and he would fly around trying to dip his chips then toss them into the audience.
Ok I don't actually miss them. More like an unfortunate flashback.
MessyMortal
putthecandleback
Posted 4:26 AM 2/5/08
..on another note from last night's Late-fest...just my incredible HDTV or was Matthew Broderick wearing (bright RED) lipstick?!?
putthecandleback