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'Racer' Vs. 'Vegas': Which Would You More Rather Skip To See 'Iron Man?'
Posted by Seth at 3:45 AM on May 10, 2008
We've already made our case for why the Wachowskis' overstuffed Gran Turismo-on-Salvia fever dream and Kutcher and Diaz's feature-length sexual-health instructional film will likely limp their way across the box office finish line this Monday. But that still leaves filmgoers with a taxing dilemma: Which of the two movies would they rather see less? Clocking in nearly neck-and-neck in their bottom-of-the-class Tomatometer scores, it's anyone's race. Perhaps mainstream film critics—and the pun-loving headline writers who really sell the bile—can help you decide:
Speed Racer
· Just a drag 'Racer' [LAT]
· Great fun, if you like watching video games [Globe and Mail (sub. req'd.)]
· 'Speed Racer' stalls at the starting line [Detroit Free Press]
· 'Speed Racer' spins by screen at nauseating, wearing pace [Salt Lake Tribune]
· 'Speed Racer': Take a Detour [WashPo]
· 'Speed Racer' limps around the track [USA Today]
· A nonsensical computer-generated racing thriller freaks out our correspondent with its cartoon plastic tackiness [London Times Online]
What Happens in Vegas
·Insults, but no jackpot in 'Vegas' [EW]
·'What Happens in Vegas' is nothing to write home about [Kalamazoo Gazette]
· Not buying this Vegas line, or even the odd couple of losers [Union Tribune]
·There is no escape in 'Vegas' and not much comedy, either [signonsandiego.com]
·Wedded miss in new Kutcher, Diaz comedy [suntimes.com]
·Shoulda Stayed in Vegas [Winnipeg Sun]
·What happens? You don't want to know [CanWest]
·'What Happens in Vegas' feels like a losing streak [USA Today]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
NoGrumpys
Posted 4:49 AM 10/5/08
If Speed Racer would have opted for a R rating they could have had Racer XXX
NoGrumpys
nojo
Posted 4:40 AM 10/5/08
Please accept this invitation to share my pain:
DICK BANGER! DICK BANGER! DICK BANGER!
Thank you. Misery is best with friends.
nojo
Shumina
Posted 4:38 AM 10/5/08
RT is a great litmus test when one wants to read the wit that shows up there to slam the bad and sing the bodacious, but never would I judge my future enjoyment on the casting of its oft overripened fruits.
Shumina
Sweet Panda Love
Posted 4:21 AM 10/5/08
With such wit, why are so many print venues axing their critics? Whom shall lob the rotten tomatoes if not them?
Sweet Panda Love
CourageousCoward
Posted 4:58 AM 10/5/08
"A nonsensical computer-generated racing thriller freaks out our correspondent with its cartoon plastic tackiness"
Did Mike Darnell write that headline?!
CourageousCoward
WGARefugee
Posted 4:52 AM 10/5/08
I take back everything I ever said about a graduate degree in English Lit being worthless--thank god for Defamer and Defamer commenters. I read more well-written gems here than on any other media blogs--even Gawker ones.
WGARefugee
Evil Tortie's Mom
Posted 6:47 AM 10/5/08
I noticed that at least 4 of the RT review pull quotes prominently featured the word "Skittles".
Evil Tortie's Mom
CrankYank
Posted 7:08 AM 10/5/08
Speed Racer, but only if illegal drugs are involved.
I now ask Sweet Panda Love and Shumina to rephrase this post poetically.
CrankYank
BrandonGK
Posted 7:28 AM 10/5/08
When deciding to go see "Speed Racer" or "What Happens in Vegas" The obvious answer is of course Iron Man, again if that's the case.
BrandonGK
ElvinaBravo
Posted 4:07 AM 10/5/08
Comment on 'Racer' Vs. 'Vegas': Which Would You More Rather Skip To See 'Iron Man?' Dude - get it together! How old is your rotten Tomato thing. Speed is now @ 35% and ahead of Vegas bitch!
ElvinaBravo