Premiere Nightmare, Lack of Testicles Leave ‘SATC’ Fighting Two-Front War

A hearty morning “Congrats” goes to the gang at New Line Cinema, which, in lame-duck fashion even more stylish than Carrie Bradshaw, sent its final film as a stand-alone studio into Publicity Hell when thousands of ticket-holding fans were turned away from last night’s Midtown Handjob Market Sex and the City premiere in New York. Complaints have been aired everywhere — from the “near riot of Louboutin clicking girls” noted by our colleagues at Gawker to the bereft throat-cancer survivor in the Daily News — and we expect heads to roll within the hour at New Line HQ. Except, wait! They already have!