Pete Doherty Is ‘Drug Free’; I Am ‘A Magical Fairy Person’!

Pete(r) Doherty emerged from prison yesterday, after a sentence of about six minutes, greeting the press by flapping around a certificate that “proves” he is drug free after his stay in the clink. Same old same old, really; I don’t think I’m the only person who is currently setting my watch according to when he’ll end up a) back in or b) back on the crack.

But what struck me was, well, how shit the certificate was:

Well Done!? Is this some new Scotland Yard initiative that attempts to treat hardened drug users and criminals like they’re back in Grade 2, in the hope that the desire for an elephant sticker is so great they will do anything, i.e. get clean/rat on their accomplices/stop raping kittens?

In fact, I wonder if Doherty didn’t just pop into the rec room before his release and whip something up in Word. To wit:

Feel free to print that out and take it to school on show and tell day, kids.