Network Death Watch Underway as Viewers, Advertisers Flee the CW

Teenagers fucking does not a network make, or so the CW is grudgingly realizing as its ratings plummet to a point where even The Wall Street Journal can’t help but scoop the world on its obituary. To wit: Nearly 28% of its target 18-34 demo has disappeared this season! Ratings are down 22% during May sweeps! Young viewers are flocking to the Web! “Writers strike” this, “skittish advertisers” that, co-owners CBS and WB are ready to drop their joint endeavor faster than a pair of Gossip Girl heroine Serena van der Woodsen’s panties, etc. etc. In short: Divest all ye sinners, the end is nigh — as in “a year” nigh, give or take a month or two.