In case you hadn't heard, the most titillating story to come out of Cannes this year had nothing to do with film and everything to do with DJ/DUI heroine Sam Ronson allegedly playing tongue twister with her roomie and long-term girlfriend Lindsay Lohan. But after seeing the so-called scandalous pictures in question, we have yet to see this "liplock". We've given many a girlfriend a tipsy hug in our time and, well, that just does not a lesbian make. Not that our opinion matters — Michael Lohan's does! The wig-fetishizing Born Again has turned up to set the record straight once and for all: "[Their] relationship 'is evident to anyone with half a brain...[Lindsay] is a big girl, and she can make her own life choices. Then it is between her and God.'" Sure, Michael isn't the most reliable source to confirm that these two are in fact dating, but on the eve of the infamous photos of Lindsay passed out in the front seat of Sam's car, we attempt to analyse their often romantic, often turbulent relationship over the years.

The attached-at-the-bony-hip couple first became friends in early 2006 after hanging out a few times in Hollywood, and after Lohan noticed Ronson's DJ skills, the two reportedly decided to produce and star in a film based on Ronson's life. As Ronson said at the time, "I think she's just a talented person. Whatever she stets out to do shes going to succeed at. If you told me tomorrow that she was going to build a city in the ocean, I'd be like, 'Just let me know when you're opening. I'll DJ the party!" Later that year, they were spotted at an Emmys after-party acting less lesbionic than well, friendly. But, of course, following her fun-filled and now legendary drool-drenched cokepants debacle in 2007, Ronson played candy striper (shudder) to her bestie. After a bit of rehab and fiance-stealing, Lindsay was said to be moving in with Sam last December, a rumour that apparently came true last month.

But as we've all noticed recently, their union has begun to resemble that lovely state of bliss known as a "relationship." The canoodling kind, of course. First, Lindsay wound up in tears after one of those standard fights couples have over absolutely nothing, and earlier this month Lindsay flipped her shit after seeing Ashley Olsen getting too close to Ronson at a bar. Followed by mystery hickies and joint vacations to Paris and Cannes, we're going ahead and doing the unthinkable: taking Michael Lohan's word without a grain of salt.

• MICHAEL LOHAN: LINDSAY, SAM'S ROMANCE 'EVIDENT TO ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN' [Us]

Tags: born agains know best | cannes | hanky panky | lindsay lohan | michael lohan | samantha ronson