M. Night Shyamalan to Play Himself in Eagerly-Awaited '90-Minute Paranoia Movie'
It's been nearly two years since we last detected the whimperings of M. Night Shyamalan, who followed Lady in the Water (and the pouty studio exile that preceded it) with a quiet retreat to his shrouded, moated enclave in the Pennsylvania wilderness. But the LA Times's Susan King smoked him out in advance of his return to theatres this summer, reviving the classic Manoj Twist for a readership craving every word:
Shyamalan ... recalls two years ago when he was in Spain on a promotional tour for Lady in the Water and someone asked him what his next project would be. "I said it is going to be a 90-minute paranoia movie, and that is what it ended up being," he says. ..."It has a road-movie-ish feeling to it," says Shyamalan, who stays mum about what his traditional cameo appearance will be in this film. Perhaps the biggest influence on The Happening, which 20th Century Fox releases June 13, was the 1956 version of the classic horror film Invasion of the Body Snatchers, he says, "in the sense that people are trying to get out of an area that is affected and the people who are trying to get out have a better understanding of what's going on than the general group and they are not being heard. Is there a mass hysteria thing going on or is there something deeper?"
At 90 minutes, we'll just presume it's "mass hysteria," but we digress. Nothing gets us hotter in a Shyamalan preview than deducing the filmmaker's cameo; our best guess has him showing up as the president at the end of the first act, imploring calm in his silky alto and deflecting blame for the "happening" itself on terrorists whose names rhyme uncannily with those of execs at Disney and Warner Bros: "Osama bina Lacobson will pay at a time of our choosing..." Or not. You have a better idea?
7:20 AM on Sat May 3 2008
by Defamer Hollywood
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It saddens me that just like I NEVER understood David Lynch's "Mullholland Drive"...I have NEVER understood the appeal of this Director
(barring "Sixth Sense"...the only movie in which Bruce Willis is vaugely human....or is that humane...take your pick)
Lala11_7
Night's all right, if he can just find a way to make a flick that MAKES SENSE and DOESN'T INSULT THE AUDIENCE. Naah. Can't do it.
lrubemp
@TedSez: In the immortal words of Olivia Newton-John, "I love you. I honestly love you."
heidiho
@TedSez
It's not just a baseball bat, it's a glass of water! Shynola LIVES in eastern Pennsylvania, a place where humidity is king, and he doesn't think of the affect of 90% humidity on alien monsters who are harmed by the humble, ordinary H20 that God in his foolish wisdom put all over this great green marble we call earth. And his parents made him become a scientist before he picked up the camera, yes? At least he should have put sou'westers and rain hats on the bug eyed monsters.
regisgoat
he's supposed to be really talented, right? Right?
MrRewrite
He looks like an Indian auditioner for American Idol, what's up with that? For scares, cut the crap and just give me Stephen King - he's too ugly to do anything but scare the bejeez out of anyone.
MrRewrite
It saddens me that ET would resort to wearing such an obvious rug.
Also, kylo4, I ask the same question when I see the Village.
dango
He'll play the guy who, five minutes from the end, will get to say, "The danger is real! Twist! No, it's all in your head! Twist! No, what's in your head is making it real! Twist! No, it's real, but you can kill it with a baseball bat! Twist! A baseball bat from the future! Twist! A future that's actually the past! Twist! No, I'm not real! Twist! Okay, I am real, but I've been taken over by a body snatcher! Twist! And not a good body snatcher, either, but one from that Nicole Kidman version! Twist! Or actually, it's all a fairy tale! Twist! Or a comic book! Twist! Or a really spooky limerick! Twist! That's right... I am the man from Nantucket! [Spooky music; roll credits.]
TedSez
It saddens me that I also am owed $10 and will never collect even though I also saw it for free. It saddens me that the estate of the makers of The Killer Shrews won't get even more money from the Shyster, since he blatantly plagirized his grass-monsters from that classic, and it saddens me that Mark Wahlberg looks so hilarious in the trailers. No, actually, that last part is hilarious.
SPOILER: It turns out that the last remnants of humanity have been put in an alien zoo. Surprise!
regisgoat
He owes me ten bucks for Lady In The Water, and I didn't even pay for it. He just fucking owes me.
Tiger_Tanaka
Every movie he makes is getting worse. He was great with the first three, "Sixth Sense, Unbreakable and Signs", but with the Village and Lady in the Water he shows he's lost it. My dad for a few years now still says, "They sent a blind girl into the forest? They sent her into the forest? It was this?" Whenever someone brings up the Village. That movie was one of the worst Hollywood budgeted films I've seen.
kylo4
It saddens me that M. Night Shamylamidingdong has a faux-hawk. For reals.
Shivery.McPickles
@EuroDad: That's okay - my first thought was: "Dang! Mr. Bean maybe needs to take a break from the tanning salon."
distractedbyshinyobjects
It also saddens me that my previous comment will probably make people think I'm racist. Maybe I can hang out w/ Rob Lowe's wife - we can talk about my penis.
EuroDad
It saddens me that my first thought upon seeing that picture was "Kumar is in another movie?"
EuroDad
It saddens me that I struggle to stay conscious every time I sit down and watch new movie's from Night.
Leviticus_71
It saddens me that as far as twisty auteur creators go, at this point Shyamalan and Chuck Palahniuk are running neck and neck in terms of diminishing returns.
Juancho