Lily Allen Is Doing Greeaassshht

Since I’ve not had time to code that “Lily Allen has had a tough year so far” generator I’m sure I’ve mentioned many times before, I’ll have to type it again: Lily Allen has had a tough year so far, and seems to be dealing with it in a manner more suited to pre-”marriage has changed me” Robert Downey Jr. than the sunny young thing she used to be.

In Cannes – for, um, the Film Festival, I guess? – it appears Lily is having a right royal time, getting her cans out, partying on, and generally drinking too much and passing out. And the whispers on the street suggest that Lily’s party time may be up.

Go team awesome!!

It culminated on Thursday in her apparently performing an alcoholic faint in a taxi on the way back to her hotel; her father – in town to promote his new film about Princess Diana and Dodi – held her by the scruff of the neck as if she were a sleeping puppy.

A few hours previously, after enjoying vodka and lychee cocktails at a screening of the movie How To Lose Friends And Alienate People, she was to be found face down on her table next to a rather splendid floral arrangement.

It’s one thing to enjoy a party but on this occasion the singer, hailed as one of the brightest young talents of recent years, seemed intent on becoming completely obliterated by alcohol – and it was an alarming sight.

You know, normally I scoff at the Mail’s hysterical coverage of celebrities’ downfalls (all the better to sell papers with, after all), but in this instance I’m inclined to side with them.

The photo of Lily passed out at the table – with a still smoking fag between her fingers – should be ringing all sorts of alarm bells, but instead it seems dad Keith thinks it’s all a right laff! Good on ya, dad!