It’s Like Yeah, Lindsay’s Sister, She’s Fine

Gripped by a paralzying case of Rain Manesque echolalia on her Late Show appearance last night (”OK, so you’re going to follow Harrison Ford. He has a movie coming out? Indiana Jones? Then Dave will ask you all about your little E! reality show. Don’t forget to have fun!”) aspiring Lohan Ali seemed incapable of responding with much more than a nervous, “Yeah,” to most of host David Letterman’s questions. (We’ve added dings to help you count them: 21 in two minutes.)

Still, you don’t need words to identify the sadness behind those eyes: Hardened by a million little tabloid items and passed homeroom notes, they tell the story of a childhood squandered inside a Palms hotel recording studio and countless Long Island-accent-eradication sessions, the monotony of the fame-machine only occasionally interrupted when mum smuggles in a six-pack of Seagram’s Escapes and a pack of Merit Ultra Light Menthol 100s.

• Late Show