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Is Britney Spears Plotting A Comeback In The Perilous Land Of The All-You-Can-Eat $4.99 Buffet?
Posted by Molly Friedman at 2:29 AM on May 24, 2008
According to reports in everyone's favourite trusted supermarket tabloid, Britney Spears is allegedly deep in planning mode for Comeback #487. Sources tell the National Enquirer that Spears is shelling out up to $10 million on what sounds like a very tasteful, classy-by-way-of-Louisiana string of song-and-dance shows at The Palms, one of K. Fed's favourite places to sink into debt play the big baller. Where Spears is coming up with all this cash, considering most of her dough is currently going towards her father's daily rate for babysitting, is still a mystery. But based on the description of her latest plan to "jump-start her career," we're not so sure these shows will do much aside from force us to remember Britney Spears Comebacks number 1 through 486:
As their source puts it, "She wants to make a splashy comeback in Las Vegas. She wants the show to be full of high energy and flashy costume changes." And while costume changes would be refreshing after her most infamous Comeback in that bejeweled bikini, her slightly varied outfits throughout that post-rehab string of weavetastic surprise shows at small venues didn't help to disguise the fact that she'd lost her dancing prowess, nor did they help plug our ears. But we do enjoy the use of the word "flashy." A dose of flash or two could have gone a long way towards saving her gritty pole-dancing performance in the video for "Gimme More." Putting aside our lack of belief in her latest scheme, we're primarily worried about Spears spending so much time in Vegas. The last time she "appeared" at an event on the Strip, she wound up wobbly welcoming the New Year before promptly passing out. Lest we forget, this is also the city that hosted her merry garter-adorned dream wedding. What happens to Britney in Vegas rarely stays in Vegas, unfortunately.
- SPEARS IN TALKS TO STAGE VEGAS SHOWS [Contact Music]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Benovite
Posted 3:22 AM 28/5/08
@SlipperyIsMyLawn: I totally agree, and I hope she heeds the advice of this particularly useful graphic.
Benovite
ViperBorg
Posted 10:24 PM 27/5/08
@RocketRockit: There's not enough meds in the world to convince her of that.
ViperBorg
hitchenaride
Posted 1:32 AM 26/5/08
@CapnCalamity:
I know! Between all the DING DANG jokes a fantastic album was virtually ignored....'wettest' - perfect
hitchenaride
SunnydaZe10
Posted 9:12 AM 25/5/08
If Britney is fat, God help the Mid-west.
SunnydaZe10
Novaload
Posted 12:40 PM 24/5/08
@SlipperyIsMyLawn: Nobody knows for certain what her "problem" is but certainly a lot of it is being allowed to do whatever she pleases by cops, by stores, by courts etc. and given just about every break other more deserving people don't get. She has no boundaries and I haven't run across a disorder in the Diag Manual that turns a person into an extremely calculated attention hound/exhibitionist/egomaniac.
There are lots of genuinely mentally ill people out there who have every right to be offended by the "mental illness" cover story.
Novaload
StaringatScreen
Posted 6:38 AM 24/5/08
@SlipperyIsMyLawn: True, but I still have one more question - Why is your lawn slippery, Britney?
StaringatScreen
CapnCalamity
Posted 6:17 AM 24/5/08
I don't care how 'fat' she gets (even if she balloons up to a gargantuan size 8!), "Blackout" was easily the slinkiest, sexiest, roughest, wettest, coolest mainstream album last year...the best of her career by far. It deserved (and still does, go buy it!) WAAAAYYY more sales.
If album #6 (due at year's end?) is anything CLOSE to "Blackout's" avant-garde popness, we're all in for a treat.
CapnCalamity
misterdirk
Posted 4:53 AM 24/5/08
Hit The Buffet One More Time
misterdirk
fuddes
Posted 4:34 AM 24/5/08
She's going to travel back in time to perform in Vegas when they actually had cheap buffets?
fuddes
Desk_hack
Posted 4:32 AM 24/5/08
@SlipperyIsMyLawn: I know, isn't it great?! Viva la Defamer!
Desk_hack
EuroDad
Posted 4:16 AM 24/5/08
@kookla: how many bags of Cheetos can $4.99 buy?
EuroDad
kookla
Posted 4:08 AM 24/5/08
If it's the land of the $4.99 All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet, then Britney's in the right place.
kookla
KNau
Posted 4:00 AM 24/5/08
That's what makes it so awesome! If it was the morally upstanding thing to do it wouldn't be any fun!
Besides, you only get so many chances to clean up before it's time for the world to stop sympathizing. Even health care professionals live by that law.
KNau
SlipperyIsMyLawn
Posted 3:51 AM 24/5/08
I'm sorry,but making fun of someone who is obviously struggling with some sort of mental illness is not clever,nor funny,nor witty.
It's pathetic and mean-spirited.Not to mention small-minded,in poor taste,and morally repugnant.
SlipperyIsMyLawn
tbolt
Posted 3:49 AM 24/5/08
We'll all be ok if the Vegas motto holds up to this latest challenge.
tbolt
Old No.7
Posted 3:44 AM 24/5/08
@sundaeg1rl: Lane Bryant already has a Camryn Manheim line of unmentionables.
Old No.7
sundaeg1rl
Posted 3:12 AM 24/5/08
She's the only one who parades around in her undies, yet she doesn't have her own lingerie line yet. What's up with that??? She could be her own greatest advert! (not that I'm encouraging it, mind)
sundaeg1rl
RocketRockit
Posted 2:38 AM 24/5/08
Dude, Britney, IT IS OVER.
RocketRockit