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'Iron' Wins
Posted by Seth at 2:21 AM on May 13, 2008
Chase away the Monday morning May-gloom blues with a glimpse at the box office numbers:
1. Iron Man - $50.5 million
Iron Man's strong finish was confidently predicted by just about everyone, including your own mother, who called yesterday to thank you for her bouquet, but "would have preferred you send me that Roger Downey Jr. fellow—he can rocket-boost over here anytime! Oh, your father's getting jealous now. Pipe down, Seymour—you know you're the only Iron Man for me. By the way, I predict a healthy 49% drop with the audience skewing slightly more female due to strong word of mouth. Anyway, thanks again for the flowers! And don't forget to call your sister!"
2. Speed Racer - $20.210 million
How to tell the difference between an underperforming™ tentpole and a true bomb? When studio executives can't even drum up a quote brimming with the false, "Hey, let's see how it fares internationally—those foreigners love everything!" optimism we've come to expect from someone with a stinker to spin and a job on the line. That said, let's take Speed's temperature, via these observations from Warner Bros. president of domestic distribution Dan Fellman: "It's just one of those moments in our business where the results don't seem to justify our hopes, and we'll move on." Bomb, Speed Racer, bomb!
3. What Happens in Vegas - $20 million
Certainly the fact that Racer could barely* outpace Vegas—a moderately budgeted Hollywood remake of a Japanese horror film about a man who wins big at Pachinko and is forced to marry Cameron Diaz—only heightened Warner Bros.' shame, leading to a tragic but seemingly inevitable mass seppuku ritual at their Burbank offices this morning, using the ceremonial, third-floor-kitchen bagel knife.
4. Made of Honor - $7.6 million
The 17th straight Patrick Dempsey romantic comedy to connect with his core audience of extremely lonely women, clinical psychotics, and people in dire need of a quiet place to nap and/or duck the law held strong in the fourth position, practically guaranteeing its sequels, 27 Tuxes and A Groom of One's Own.
5. Baby Mama - $5.766 million
Lamaze humor is frequently lost on us.
*And probably won't even.
- WEEKEND BOX OFFICE May 9-11, 2008 [Box Office Mojo]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Landru
Posted 2:55 AM 13/5/08
I'm not in the business, so please forgive the naivety. With movies like both Ironman and Speed Racer - do the producers and everybody have the general idea ahead of time that it will be a hit or bomb? Or are they completely surprised?
Landru
KingHater
Posted 2:52 AM 13/5/08
The winning formula: Obnoxiously re-fashion a tepidly popular 1960s cartoon for a generation too young to remember the original, thereby affectively alienating whatever built-in, nostalgic-value fanbase (and this is thinking optimistically) might be left. Top it off by casting...drum roll...Emile fucking Hirsh.
Why in the conceivable name of holy fuck did this film get green-lit? You could smell the waft of turd from a mile away.
KingHater
pumpkinsoup
Posted 2:49 AM 13/5/08
I was on the fence about taking my son to see Speed Racer because he really, really wants to see it, but once the bad reviews came in, and I found out the run time exceed two hours, I told him I'd take him to see Prince Caspian next week instead. Because that one I actually want to see.
pumpkinsoup
NoWireHangers
Posted 2:39 AM 13/5/08
I wish Speed Racer didn't suck, because the concept had some potential. Reading the reviews was akin to being talked off a ledge. It was a fear of going blind/seizures/overall badness that made me stay far far away.
NoWireHangers
regisgoat
Posted 2:32 AM 13/5/08
How could they have tanked with Speed Racer? I mean, this movie really really underestimated the intelligence of the American people, and they tanked anyway?
regisgoat
Sweet Panda Love
Posted 3:23 AM 13/5/08
Somewhere in this town, right now, A Groom Of One's Own is being greenlit. Thanks a lot, Seth.
Sweet Panda Love
Sleepyhead
Posted 3:10 AM 13/5/08
@Landru: They do have an idea, but it mainly comes from test screenings and seeing the finished film - it's too late to change very much, though they will edit to fix some perceived flaws.
By the time the marketing campaign hits, review copies go out, and the buzz starts around town, yes, you know "Iron Man is going to make a lot of money" or "Speed Racer will probably flop, but how bad?", but it's only a couple weeks to opening.
Sleepyhead
gwendolyn
Posted 3:08 AM 13/5/08
@Landru: I would like to hear from someone in the industry about that myself. I have been no closer to the industry than driving down Santa Monica Blvd. once while in L.A. on a business trip. I have always bought the company line that 'No one sets out to make a bad (or unsuccessful) movie'.
But you gotta wonder...
Any insights from the industry folks who chime in here?
gwendolyn
Shumina
Posted 2:59 AM 13/5/08
@Landru: Depends on if you're in Team Nobody Knows Anything! or Team How Many Rewrites?!
Shumina
extracrispy
Posted 3:50 AM 13/5/08
@Sleepyhead: They do advance polling as well to find out how many people are familiar with the title and if they intend to see it. It's very similar to the way political polls can forecast who's winning an election.
extracrispy
PaisleyPajamas
Posted 3:33 AM 13/5/08
@KingHater: It's the "too many chefs spoil the soup" addage. On the studio level, it's become *art by committee,* which will inevitably sucks every.effing.time.
I wonder (often) about whether we'd even notice how shitastic the studio films are if we didn't have the renaissance of indies and world films infiltrating. Would we just eat up our heaping dose of turd flambé and rave about it, recommending it to our friends? You'd think that competition would have the studios trying a bit harder on the making a good film front, instead of the marketing a bad one so they* think it's a good film.
*they = ticket-buying audience
PaisleyPajamas
Jaguares
Posted 5:35 AM 13/5/08
The worst thing that can come from this Spped Racer fail is that it makes that lame-looking Vegas film a not-so-bad bomb, thus rejuvinating Ashton Kutcher's "movie career"
Jaguares
NoGrumpys
Posted 5:45 AM 13/5/08
best line in Speed Racer that describes the movie "Chim Chim cookies"
NoGrumpys
CrankYank
Posted 6:40 AM 13/5/08
Now, if they'd made Speed Racer a comedy with Kutcher - Gold!!! Reboot franchise...now!
CrankYank
SanFranBetsu
Posted 9:04 AM 13/5/08
Word up to the people who make things happen in Hollywood. Yawn. Is it any wonder I do NOT spend money in theatres anymore.
SanFranBetsu