Harrison Ford And The Kingdom Of The Crystallized Chest Wax

With all the magnetized baked potatoes and dancing chihuahua sequences in store in this weekend’s Indy 4, it’s no surprise Harrison Ford’s next on-screen project is as simple and easy to understand as possible. As we noted weeks ago, Ford was filming spots for an environmental group that prompted him to step in as copywriter and retool the scripts. And thank goodness he did — who else could have come up with this illuminating dialogue between the grizzly manscaping actor and, well, himself? Apparently, even big boys like Ford wince when hair is ripped from their shiny manly chests using hot wax. And that’s how the environment feels. So get thee to the nearest beauty parlor, shoot the unsmiling waxer a charismatic flirty smirk or two, and save the planet already.

Even more unnerving than what the group’s CEO promises was a totally real expression on Ford’s face when the hair came off (frankly we can’t spot an “expression” throughout the whole clip) is the sight of Ford’s jolting asymmetrical features. It’s as if George Lucas announced he would shoot only the right side off the actor’s face for Indy 4 and proceeded to slap him 50 times a day in order to shove all his features over to the right. All the better to disguise his smirking from the hair-ripping minx on his left.

• HARRISON FORD WAXES HIS CHEST — FOR A GOOD CAUSE [People]