Dolly Parton Threatening To Sue Howard Stern For Tossing Her Lovely Audio Book Into A Filth Salad (NSFW)
We really take no pleasure in informing you that two of our idols—early tickle-machine adopter Howard Stern and top-heavy country legend Dolly Parton—are currently at war, but such is the case. To get you up to date, last week, Stern broadcast edited portions of her self-narrated audio book to form several beyond-filthy phrases. (Like, seriously: NSFW. This is the kind of stuff you imagine hearing at a 4 a.m. "Aristocrats" session around Bob Saget's jacuzzi after a night of Tuaca shots and blow. As such, it's hilarious.) Parton has had a listen, and released this statement in response:
We really take no pleasure in informing you that two of our idols—early tickle-machine adopter Howard Stern and top-heavy country legend Dolly Parton—are currently at war, but such is the case. To get you up to date, last week, Stern broadcast edited portions of her self-narrated audio book to form several beyond-filthy phrases. (Like, seriously: NSFW. This is the kind of stuff you imagine hearing at a 4 a.m. "Aristocrats" session around Bob Saget's jacuzzi after a night of Tuaca shots and blow. As such, it's hilarious.) Parton has had a listen, and released
"I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life,"
"I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing. Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this.""If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it's going to be over this. Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this."
We think there's another way: A brokered Stern/Parton peace accord, negotiated by us, an utterly unbiased third party, who just happens to possess a stack of vinyl, DVDs, 8x10 glossies, saved ticket stubs to Dollywood, and menus from the tragically short-lived Planet Fartman restaurant chain in dire need of autographing. We beg of you—let the healing commence, before the proprietor of Kenny Rogers Roasters has his reputation sullied any further by intimations that he's the World's Greatest Chickenhawk.
10:55 AM on Thu May 15 2008
by Seth
View: AU Comments (0) | US Comments (12 comments)
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@Pomalina: i LOVE you. although, i have to disagree with you on the line. the BEST by far is:
"you knoow who came up with the saying, 'let sleeping dogs lie?' A DOG!"
team dolly!
Nomi Malone
Wow. That wasn't funny at all.
If you're going to lead using the word "ni**er*, your follow-up better be redeeming.
Normally I'd tell a celebrity like Dolly to suck it up, but this was far beyond anything like Carol Burnett v. Family Guy.
Rey
Well, I can't believe you didn't know that about Johnny Carson.
raincoaster
@kylo4:
I'd imagine there HAS to be a "parody" clause in regard to your defamation claim. specially with her being a celeb. Otherwise every other celeb who's ever had a similar thing done would be able to sue for millions.
Stern's been doing it for years.
Let's be real...
Dolly complained to have her voice heard and to protect her branding. Secretly I'm sure she (as well as her publishers) were cheering in their cars when they heard it.
HwoodHills
I thought it was funny in parts (aside from usage of the N word) however since they are proclaiming it is directly from her book, rather funny or not, she can sue for defamation of character. She should sue though, that would drive the books up even higher. Than they'll have her talking with CNN and Howard being questioned about it etc.
kylo4
There won't be a lawsuit, parody is totally protected, so saith the Supremes!
Greasy Thumb Guzik
@Desk_hack: Dolly will smother you with her tremendous boobies and scratch your eyes out with her fabulous nails. DO NOT CROSS HER.
heidiho
"Where'd I go to college? Where'd I go to college?? SCREW YOU's where I went to college!"
Best. Line. Ever. Watch out, Howard.
Team Dolly!
Pomalina
Ooooooh, you do not mess with Dolly. Heidiho, where are you? Back me up.
Desk_hack
Dude, this says so much more about the lack of interesting, listenable conversations or material on Howard Stern than it does anything else. huge yawn.
nyobserver
Dolly, I love you very much but you need to kick back with a bottle of Jack and listen to these again. I am peeing myself laughing (but not in a Kenny Rogers way)...
sundaeg1rl
I'm a big Dolly fan, but c'mon, kid, relax. This'll move the product. She's got to cover her ass for marketing purposes with her fan base, so the response is expected.
And kudos to the engineer who had to splice them. Some are obvious, but others are crisp.
Good job, Howard.
HwoodHills