Dina Lohan Is This Year's Most 'Outstanding Mother', Says Cleavage-Bearing Long Island Mummy Cult
Posted by Molly Friedman at 8:40 AM on May 8, 2008
Proving our hunches that we are indeed living in Bizarro World, last night Dina Lohan, master momager/pimp and bestest friend to all her angelic children, received an award naming her Outstanding Mother of the Year. As you'll see in this clip, a ceremony celebrating super-duper mums like Dina was held in what appears to be The Roxy: Long Island Chain, crowded with cleavage-baring mothers dancing awkwardly to techno beats. Naturally the question needing an answer pronto is: why Dina? OK! nabbed an answer from the group's spokesperson: "We're just honoring celebrities' mums on Long Island...It's a list of mothers from Long Island who have raised superstar children." And how did this kooky group of "Mingling Moms" come to the decision that Dina was The One? Their President's very Scientology-like answer, plus more details on Dina's tipsy date and how the Mumager herself justified the honour bestowed upon her, after the jump.
As Radar reports, Dina's plus-one was the grand matriarch of Lohan breeding: Dina's 82-year old mother, Ann Stewart, who allegedly spent most of the night drinking Chardonnay and proving Veritas really comes out In Vino: "Ann totally loved Lindsay in Parent Trap but skipped I Know Who Killed Me." Wise words, Ann. But an odd tidbit came in the form of Mingling Moms' President, who claimed Dina had won the honour after nabbing the most votes in an online "Best Mom" poll set up by the group. Though Radar notes, "No evidence of the poll actually exists on the website." Anyone else feel a rush of deja vu following yesterday's Scientology spokesperson-issued lies? In the end, all that really matters is what Dina has to say about the whole fiasco: "I was just watching Lindsay record a track for her third album a few days ago with Snoop Dogg[!]" Perfect. All mums should ensure their recently rehabbed kids go into business with the world's foremost ambassador of the use of medical marijuana. As the cult group said, "Congratulations Dina!"

Proving our hunches that we are indeed living in Bizarro World, last night Dina Lohan, master momager/pimp and
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
wisepatty
Posted May 9, 2008 6:53 PM
Lohan has many fans on largemingle c o m, it is also a singles community for celebrity bbw, big beautiful women, bhm and their admirers to interact each other.
Old No.7
Posted 11:07 AM 8/5/08
Realize that these same Long Island mommies produced Amy Fisher, so comparitively speaking, Dina Lohan looks like she reared the Virgin Mary.
Old No.7
TurdBlossom
Posted 12:15 PM 8/5/08
The skank doesn't fall far from the tree.
TurdBlossom
CourageousCoward
Posted 12:36 AM 9/5/08
@Old No.7: Awww that's not fair! Long Island mommies produced Carolt Alt, Steve Buscemi, Billy Crystal, Rodney Dangerfield,Julius Erving, Joey Heatherton, Billy Joel, Patty Lupone, Eddie Money, Thomas Pynchon, Lou Reed, Telly Savalas, Brian Setzer, John Tesh, Walt Whitman - and therefore Dina should be ashamed.
Then again, Long Island mommies also produced Bill O'Reilly and Rosie O'Donnell, so everything balances out.
CourageousCoward
SanFranBetsu
Posted 1:38 AM 9/5/08
@CourageousCoward:So how come one of their moms didn't win the award. Questionable, very questionable!
SanFranBetsu
CourageousCoward
Posted 3:33 AM 9/5/08
@SanFranBetsu: Simple - Dina hooked them up with the good shit!
CourageousCoward
BeachLover420
Posted 7:01 AM 9/5/08
Dear Mingling Moms, A giant FU from a fellow Long Islander. I could go to the Nassau County Jail and find better mommies. FU DINA!!!!! Go away, far, far away. And don't come back!
BeachLover420