Charitable 'Bad Lieutenant' Director Wishes Hellish, Explosive Death on Werner Herzog and Nicolas Cage
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 6:10 AM on May 24, 2008
The ongoing, skull-melting hallucination yielding visions of Werner Herzog micromanaging Nicolas Cage's masturbation technique abated slightly today when, at a Cannes press conference for his new film Chelsea on the Rocks, director Abel Ferrara raised his first public objection to duo's planned remake of his 1992 effort Bad Lieutenant:
First, Ferrara tagged a comment about the remake on to his answer to a question about working outside the Hollywood system. "As far as remakes go, Harvey [Weinstein? Not mentioned ... in connection to the project. Keitel, who starred in the original? Hmmmm....] begged me not to say anything mean, or stupid. [pause] But I wish these people die in Hell. I hope they're all in the same streetcar, and it blows up."
Later, a different journalist mentioned the remake in the run-up to answering a different question, and Ferrara interrupted.
"It hasn't been remade yet."
"But it will be," the reporter said.
Ferrara shook his head before putting it in his hands. "Don't count on it."
Come to think of it, we don't know why we originally thought Ferrara ever might have blessed such a random-arse duo reimagining his NC-17 baby for anyone, let alone a mass market. Though it's altogether possible that one glimpse at the new Lieutenant poster unveiled last week at Cannes — with everyone's name on it but Ferrara's and the words "From the star of National Treasure and Ghost Rider" reportedly removed at the last second — may have been the garish, godawful tipping point the aggrieved director was waiting for. Either way, this is fallout we can't wait to witness — anything to relieve these nightmares.

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
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nick_r
Posted 6:47 AM 28/5/08
What Herzog should really do is remake Grizzly Man with Uwe Boll in the lead.
They can go ahead and shoot the last scene first. Just sayin'.
nick_r
musicmope
Posted 12:23 PM 26/5/08
@Shemp Baldwin: The Beat That My Heart Skipped easily surpasses the original, Kaelites notwithstanding. Except for the part in which Tanya Roberts has it done proper in the hotel bathroom. Etc,
I'll be really impressed after Harmony Korine remakes Monkey Trouble.
musicmope
SunnydaZe10
Posted 9:19 AM 25/5/08
In a recent interview, Harvey Keitel had this to say -
"If they remake the film I will personally---DAMMIT, you are in my FUCKING eyeline you MISCREANT. Who allowed you on the set? CUT! This is a CUT!! Remove that fuckhole, now! Or I walk off this piece of SHIT!!"
SunnydaZe10
Shemp Baldwin
Posted 10:43 AM 24/5/08
Some French director already remade FINGERS and apparently, it wasn't bad. Maybe there's a secret conspiracy to work through Keitel's filmography. Get ready for the Merchant-Ivory remake of SATURN 3.
Shemp Baldwin
BrandonGK
Posted 9:24 AM 24/5/08
@Dr. Spaceman, Esq.:
And it's Herzog, how can someone not get excited for Herzog?
When he starts remaking your work.
BrandonGK
Dr. Spaceman, Esq.
Posted 7:40 AM 24/5/08
Cage isn't that bad, Face Off notwithstanding. He did fine in Raising Arizona and Leaving Los Vegas. And it's Herzog, how can someone not get excited for Herzog?
Dr. Spaceman, Esq.
DrAftershave
Posted 7:15 AM 24/5/08
if Cage can bring the level of acting he did on "The Wicker Man" to this project, i'm so there. otherwise, they shouldn't taint this classic.
DrAftershave
WGARefugee
Posted 7:12 AM 24/5/08
If Cage is going for edgy, there's always a remake of Fingers if the Bad Lieutenant doesn't work out.
WGARefugee
RonMwangaguhunga
Posted 6:57 AM 24/5/08
Come to think of it, did PETA ever go after Nic Cage's ass for eating that roach in the lamentable "Vampire Kiss"? And could they do so, retrocatively, and with extreme prejudice, for all of us who actually endured that film?
RonMwangaguhunga
Princess Sparkle Pony
Posted 6:22 AM 24/5/08
Hmmm... Ferrara didn't seem to have any problems remaking Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Princess Sparkle Pony
frodo2206
Posted 5:53 PM 24/5/08
i like cage but he is no harvey keitel.
frodo2206