Britney and Mel’s Excellent Costa Rican Adventure

Back in March, we heard Malibu’s own Ken and Barbie, Mel Gibson and Britney Spears, were aligning their forces of stupidity for the greater good. But it was tough to figure out whether or not they were on a date or set to co-produce a new film starring each and every one of their split personalities. But thanks to recent reports, it sounds as though the partnership was neither love- or business-bound. They’re just two confused drunks trying to stay clean together! Master of sobriety Mel recently flew both Britney and her owner, father Jamie Spears, down for a vacation at his Costa Rican clam shack for some R&R. But why now? And more importantly, why does Britney keep hiding her newly rotund tummy from the paparazzi?After being spotted at a health clinic just before her jaunt to Mel’s, rumours circulated suggesting the healing poptard might be pregnant yet again. Coupled with the fact that Spears has recently favoured camouflaging her baby-making area whenever the paparazzi swarm, the theory seemed plausible. But it was merely wishful thinking — the clinic in question specialises in (yawn) sports injuries. As a source tells The Sun, Spears just feels chunky after going cold turkey on her ADD meds, and being force-fed cuisine by her drug addict-turned-chef dad: “She has put on a lot of weight in recent weeks…she is extremely paranoid about her body at the moment.” We just hope Mel doesn’t accidentally erupt in another sexist spat and address her as Sugar Tits before grabbing her and passing out.

[Photo credits: X17, Splash]

• BRITNEY SPEARS AND DAD HEAD TO MEL GIBSON’S COSTA RICAN RANCH [Us]
• BRIT TESTS STOKE BABY RUMOURS [The Sun]