Oh god.

Firstly, Midget Porn TM. Excellent. We've all seen the photos of Rima, yeah? We'd publish them here but we don't want to be sued, or something. Maybe it's cos we're highbrow. Whatever. We're still rooting for her.

Secondly, the Big Brother online diary. Often a source of endless amusement and insights into the psyche of the housemates, this entry just made our heart hurt.

Rima and Dixie are chatting in the lounge.

While the other HMs are fast asleep in the bedroom, Dixie and Rima bond in the lounge. Dixie tells Rima she thinks Renee is one of the most genuine people in the House. "She's no different in here to what she is in the real world," Dixie explains. Rima agrees, "The Aussies love that personality to win. They love it." Dixie says she hopes Renee wins. "I don't have any interest in playing the game," she says.

Already we're hearing the term "playing the game"? We'd make a Big Brother Clichéd Statements Bingo! card for the folks at home to print out and play along with during the next couple of weeks, but first we need to slice ourselves with a rusty knife, roll in salt, and then soak in a nice bath filled with lemon juice.

Finally, Corey Worthington is entering the house. And releasing a Beastie Boys cover. PUNCH US IN THE HEAD UNTIL WE LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS, PLEASE. Other than that amazing interview on Today Tonight, has Corey displayed any signs of being an entertaining character? Our only hope is that Corey uses his STUNNING PARTY THROWING SKILLS to somehow smuggle a bewildered bus of tourists expecting to go nuts at Wet & Wild into the compound and then gets them drunk enough to ensure the entire house is trashed beyond recognition and this year's crop of contestants are then forced to clean up $40,000 worth of damage by eviction night, or live in the squalor for the rest of the season.

Oh, and a shout out to Sonia Kruger - thanks for bigging up our opening night live blog on breakfast radio yesterday! Defamer Australia's Editor's mother is a Mix 106.5FM devotee and texted us saying "Sonia Kruger gave your blog defamer a plug this morning re big brother! She said it was so funny what HE wrote?"

Tina Sparkle, you have confused our mother. She now wonders whether she secretly birthed a boy child 27 years ago, and the charity haircut was a subtle way of breaking the news to her. For future reference, Defamer Australia is written by ladies, for ladies. Well, not really. But we've definitely got breasts.

PS: We secretly hope Tina Sparkle found the blog entry because it was sandwiched nicely between two Todd McKenney "pieces" and she'd been Googling his long weekend adventures to pass the time.

Tags: au | big brother 2008 | corey worthington | midget porn | rima bb