Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tania Zaetta Is Not A Fan Of Gang Bang Warfare
11:10AM Jess McGuire | Bollywood sensation Tania Zaetta has been forced to speak out against claims soliders who dared to serve in war torn Afghanistan won a romantic tryst with her during her recent tour for troops.
The Defence Department is investigating allegations that TV and film celebrity Tania Zaetta had sex with Australian special forces soldiers during a recent tour of war-ravaged Afghanistan.
The department has been severely embarrassed after admitting it broke privacy rules by naming Zaetta – who has denied the allegation – in a briefing document to the Minister for Defence Joel Fitzgibbon.
The high-level document, obtained by The Daily Telegraph, says the unsubstantiated claim that Zaetta had sex with troops at the Australian base in Tarin Kowt last month was made by veteran rock singer Angry Anderson.
Zaetta and Anderson were the two headline acts on a 17-day tour of the Middle East that staged concerts for Australian soldiers serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Angry Anderson denies having made the claims, and Zaetta is understandably upset, stating “I’ve just done this most amazing life-changing experience, been to the most unbelievable places and for this to be said, it’s very hurtful.”
Of couse, her cause isn’t helped by this: More » 
Acting: The Job So Easy, A Monkey Can Do It!
11:00AM Seth | This orangutan know exactly what the acting game is all about: Just chillin’ out, taking each audition as it comes, and stripping when required. [YouTube] Gasp! The Idol finale is underway, and apparently the vote “wasn’t even close.” Could Dial Idol’s prediction of a runaway David Cook victory be accurate? [AP, Dial Idol] It’s hard enough dragging yourself into the office every day without having to gaze out of Madonna’s ladyparts. [Racked] Not pregnant? Don’t like ice cream? Afraid of Tori Spelling? Well here’s what you missed at today’s Baskin Robbins Bump Day festivities. [D-listed] The latest Get Smart movie gets Mel Brooks’s stamp of approval. The Nude Bomb? Not so much. [LAT] More »
When Party Girls Attack
10:46AM Clem Bastow | Anyone who has read Cleo or Cosmopolitan over the last five years or so will no doubt be familiar with the face of “PR chick” Roxy Jacenko, who is always happy to tell us all about her PR firm, the appealingly titled Sweaty Betty, and her exciting and fast-paced glamorous life. (She can also often be spotted in her natural habitat, generally at the opening of an envelope, sometimes with BFF and “dating expert” Samantha Brett.)
Well, imagine my delight when I loaded the Tele this morning to find that Roxy and her lil’ sister Ruby are currently in court over a sisters’ bitchfight at a club that allegedly led to Ruby socking Sweaty Sis square in the face!
Naturally the story has some delightful details:
“It’s been soul destroying for us all. I don’t want my 18-year-old sister to end up with criminal charges, but what she did to me, her sister, was completely and utterly out of line and unacceptable,” Roxy said, after the hearing yesterday.
More » 
Defamer Presents The 25 Least Funny People In America
10:33AM Seth | In response to EW.com’s list of the 25 Funniest People in America (congrats EW columnist Diablo Cody for coming in at #20, just three shy of David Letterman!), we now present Defamer’s 25 Least Funny People in America: More »
Pointless Televisual Celebrity Feuds: The Brits Do It Better
10:09AM Clem Bastow | One television trend that hasn’t really made its way to Australia yet (unless you count The Bush Tucker Man) is the whole extreme survival movement. The Brits eat it right up, what with their endless supply of Super Army Soldiers and landscape full of bogs, rivers, snow and wild beasts ready to be turned into edge-of-your-seat Sunday evening viewing.
Well, both BBC and Channel Four have their own takes on the theme, and now the Beeb’s survival bloke, Ray Mears, has called Channel Four’s – the excellently named former SAS action man Bear Grylls; that’s him eating the fish with what appears to be extra t-sauce – nothing more than a pretender.
This was my favourite bit of the slanging match:
Last summer, 33- year- old Grylls was criticised over revelations that his existence during filming his series Born Survivor had been more comfortable than the programme suggested.
More » 
Power To The Emos!
9:53AM Clem Bastow | You’ll recall a week or so ago we drew your attention to the frankly idiotic treatment the Daily Mail gave a story about the suicide death of a teenager who also happened to be a My Chemical Romance fan. Naturally the paper decided that MCR’s album about “The Black Parade” was all about the “nickname for the place where Emo fans believe they will go when they die.”
Well, the fans have had it up to here with the media’s treatment of their favourite band – rightly so, really – and have decided to gang up and march to the Mail’s headquarters in protest.
The march, to be held on May 31, will begin at Hyde Park’s West Pond and end outside the offices of The Daily Mail.
More » Amusing Japanese Porn Titles (Translated Into English)
9:46AM Jess McGuire | Exactly what it says on the packet! My occasional bouts of insomnia mean that sometimes I find myself clicking through countless strange Wikipedia pages until somehow I’ve gone from learning about the personal lives of Flight Of The Conchords to marvelling at the fact Stephen Baldwin became a born again Christian thanks to a middle aged Brazilian housekeeper. Anyway, the other night I couldn’t sleep, and somehow went from reading about Hokusai to Japanese porn star Sakura Sakurada’s Wikipedia page.
Reading her INCREDIBLY LENGTHY resume, I began to notice that the English titles of the films, when translated from Japanese, were vaguely hysterical. So I picked the best ones and emailed them to my friends. Said friends enjoyed them. Then I showed my friend George. He laughed. heartily And then I thought “Why am I not sharing these with my people, the good readers of Defamer Australia?”
I slapped myself, and then I began to bang out this post.
After the jump, enjoy the titles of Japanese porn films translated into English. There are a couple of great band/song names in there, if you ask me. More » 
Three Reasons Why Keanu Reeves And Winona Ryder Should Turn Dating Rumours Into Reality
9:45AM Molly Friedman | Hearing that Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder may be dating is like winning the Fantasy Celebrity Hookups jackpot. Both of these lovable n’er-do-wells have been down on their luck recently, with a series of DOA movies, rumoured engagements that didn’t pan out, and for Winona, the likes of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan stealing her stealing act. So whether or not the rumours are actually true, we’re throwing these two stars’ caution to the wind for them and giving them three good reasons why they most definitely should be, after the jump. More »
Sam Newman-gate: Anz Withdraws ‘Footy Show’ Ads
9:42AM Clem Bastow | No doubt the cro magnon men at the Footy Show continue to scratch their heads at the fallout from Sam “Gloria Steinem” Newman’s stapling of a photo of Caroline Wilson’s face to a lingerie-clad mannequin (”What? You mean women don’t like this shit? That’s un-Australian!”).
After digging themselves ever deeper into the hole they’d started, the Footy clowns will no doubt be amazed to hear that ANZ has withdrawn their advertising from the show, with most media commentators taking that as a statement against being associated with Newman et al’s boof-headed sexual politics.
The bank last night confirmed it had deliberately dissociated itself from one of Australia’s highest rating sports shows.
In what is a largely symbolic demand, rather than a costly one for Channel Nine, the ANZ will continue its current commercial agreement with the network but has directed that its ads not be aired during the program.
“We are not currently running adverts on The Footy Show. It was a commercial decision, as The Footy Show in its current format does not allow us to connect well with the customer base,” an ANZ spokeswoman told The Age.
What really amazed me through all this was Newman’s confident ranting about women’s lack of a place in AFL. You know, apart from all the nurses, managers, press agents, mums who cut up the oranges at VicKick games and drive the boys to footy at the arse crack of every Saturday morning, not to mention the women’s League and all the girls playing VicKick and in high schools everywhere. More » 
