Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Bec ‘N’ Lley-Lley’s Manager Is Disappointed In Us All
1:02PM Clem Bastow | Briefly in the scurrilous gossip magazine rumours department, we bring you news that will surely be devastating for all of you out there: Bec Hewitt is not, I repeat, not pregnant.
How do we know? The Hewitts’ manager David Drysdale wants us all to go stand in the naughty corner.
“I’d be one of the first to hear about (a pregnancy),” he said.
“(The rumours) are pretty disappointing.”
David would be really disappointed if it turned out Bec was with child, and he wasn’t one of the first people they told, wouldn’t he? Talk about setting yourself up for a fall!
Anyway, the hopes of a nation – i.e. that another bum-chinned heir to the cashed-up-bogan crown would be provided – will have to be iced for the next little while. Damn you, Woman’s Day! More » 
Surely Simmone Jade McKinnon’s Mortgage Repayment Situation Isn’t This Dire?
11:46AM Clem Bastow | Remember a while back we told you how the death of McLeod’s Daughters seemed to have left star Simmone Jade McKinnon’s mortgage repayments in a wretched state?
Well, a little bird in the form of the Hun’s Melbourne Confidential has, while rootling around on the auction site for, er, cargo pants, found some McKinnon/McLeod’s related items on eBay, so naturally I decided to get amongst the eBay bidding frenzy for the casual duds and see for myself – and here they are. From the auctions we can see that McKinnon is a Size 10 in the pants and a 12 in the top, and other such thrilling information.
Has it come to this, Simmone? Is “sambo.no.1” really you?
In any case, and on the topic of McLeod’s related eBay sales, I am more interested in this item, hilariously titled “From the famouse TV show Mcleods Daughter Size 12.”
Sadly, the auction turned out to be for a polo shirt, not an actual McLeod’s Daughter Sized 12. More’s the pity. More » ‘Living Lohan’ Pulls The Curtain Back To Reveal The Real Dina Lohan, Daughter-Pimping Warts And All
10:59AM Seth | We rarely take a moment to thank E!’s Department of Reality-Based Famewhoring Enterprises for the excellent work they do, giving the egregiously underpublicized—everyone from the Kardashian girls to Denise Richards—a weekly hour to, well, just be. So, thanks! But with Living Lohan (why does that title remind us of a disease-awareness billboard campaign? “I’ve been Living Lohan for 7 years now, but Lohan isn’t living me,”) they’ve truly outdone themselves, giving Dina Lohan the vehicle we know she’s wanted and deserved all along. In this preview clip, the celebrity mumabler is captured in medias crisis-control, berating an online tabloid concern for publishing blurry photos of her most successful accomplishment in a compromising, probably accurate situation; watching this fierce tigress protect her largely unemployable, fur-coat-swiping cubs is truly a sight to behold. Living Lohan [E Online] More »Celebrity Spotto At The ‘My Fair Lady’ Premiere
10:27AM Clem Bastow | On Friday night I was lucky enough to attend the opening night of Opera Australia’s lavish new production of Lerner & Loewe’s wonderful My Fair Lady. Roger Kirk’s costumes are breathtaking (the Ascot sequence’s costumes and millinery, and Eliza’s ballgown both receiving as much if not more applause than the castmembers themselves) and it is a treat to have the musical really sung for a change (though we did appreciate Alan “Dr Karl” Fletcher’s efforts in the pro-am production of a few years back).
Reg Livermore is brilliant as Professor Higgins, Taryn Fiebig is a delightful Eliza, and the production features not one but two grand dames of Australian musical theatre, Judi Conelli and Nancye Hayes (both in fine form). It’s on until May 31st at Melbourne’s State Theatre and I highly recommend you beg, borrow or steal a kidney to get a ticket.
However, I know what you really want to know is who was there and wearing what, so hop over the jump for this special cultured edition of Defamer Australia celebrity spotto… More » 
Gossip Magazine Editors, Out They Go!
10:15AM Clem Bastow | It’s a turbulent time in Australian magazine publishing currently, between New Woman folding and New Idea’s continued idiocy, now Famous‘ founding editor Shane Sutton has been shown the door.
He’s been replaced in the role by a former NW staffer, which is perhaps not surprising given that the two mags are more or less identical and when reading one, you wonder why the other still exists.
After a slide in last week’s sales survey, Sutton has moved to “new projects” with NW’s former deputy editor taking over.
Speculation was rife that management could be considering merging Famous with its stablemate, Who.
Moving on to “new projects”! That’s the publishing equivalent of “creative differences” or “the pair remain firm friends”!
As for merging Famous with Who, why bother? The latter ceased to be relevant some time ago, while the former never was, so combining the two would just create a massive publishing black hole of irrelevancy – and I think New Idea would have something to say about such encroachment on their market share in that department. More » 
The Daily Mail’s Online Photo Editors Are Kicking Goals Again
10:07AM Clem Bastow | Yes, yes, I know there’s nothing particularly big nor clever about laughing when online newspapers cock up in the photo department, but today’s effort by the clowns at the “New Look!” Daily Mail are clearly so bewildered by said “New Look!” with all its Flash bells and whistles that they’ve let their job get the better of them.
To wit, some of the highlights from the “Femail Today” sidebar on this (incidentally equally amusing) story:
Yes, exactly how does Jennifer Aniston feel about John Mayer’s continued gobbling of the famous little blue diamonds? Is his body still a wonderland?
Blue indeed – this is a new look for Portman and Scott Thomas, and don’t they look thrilled with it. Meanwhile, Eric Bana plays referee in the middle of the two, in case they start a bitch fight over turning up in the same dress.
And finally, my favourite…
Just look at them, pumping out their hits. Gay disco indeed – do these girls know how to party or what?!
Incompetent staffers of one of the world’s worst newspapers, on this frosty morning in May: I salute you. More » 
When In Cannes, Angelina Jolie Does As The Topless Cannesians Do
10:00AM Seth | Certainly the sight of Angelina Jolie topless comes as nothing new to even the most casual Jolie breast enthusiast—but that shouldn’t mean that every fresh specimen isn’t something worth celebrating. Take for example a recent series of photographs, shot by a paparazzo with a telephoto lens the size of a small corn silo, of the actress on a Cannes balcony. Whatever discomfort we may have experienced over this mild invasion of privacy were quickly offset by the excitement of stealing a double-helping glimpse of her Brad-only goodies. We’ve obfuscated the offending, glorious bits with the star of her latest animated voiceover project: We like to imagine censor-dot Kung Fu Panda is thinking, “Boobies!” to himself in a voice that sounds unmistakably like Jack Black’s. The uncensored photo is after the jump. More »
Only One ‘Lost’ Cast Member Knows How The Series Will End, And We’d Like To Buy Them A Drink
9:45AM Molly Friedman | For every high-pitched shriek of rage we let loose after making it through a new episode of Lost without a single Big Question answered, there’s a part of us that doesn’t want to know what’ s going on anyway. Sure, it’d be nice if the epic’s smarmy producers decided to shed some light on what the four-toed statue from season two was all about, gave us some clues about the Smoke Monster, or what Josh Holloway might look like as a member of the full-frontal nudity club, but maybe getting some answers would weaken our obsession. At least that’s how we felt before hearing today that a sole cast member knows for sure exactly how the series will end. And we have a feeling that between now and 2010, they might wind up “blurting it out” despite assurances. More »
8:55AM Molly Friedman | Despite his best attempts, Tom Cruise has officially failed his mission of keeping wife Katie Holmes off Broadway and out of New York. As we learned earlier this year, the escape-hungry Holmes was offered a role in this fall’s Arthur Miller play All My Sons, giving her a chance to remind the industry she was once an actress. But Cruise was rumoured to have squashed the idea, punishing his true love by sending her off to Scientology boot camp. But Us is confirming that Holmes has signed on anyway, meaning the tight Cruise clan will be spending autumn in New York. We can only hope NBC successfully woos Jerry Seinfeld into a deal by then, lest TomKat’s previous recruitment plans for the comedian remain a high priority. [Us] More »
