Monday, May 19, 2008

Andrew O’Keefe’s Sickie Means “No Deal!” For Studio Audience

1:47PM Clem Bastow | You may think that television hosts – particularly the “light entertainment” variety – are the sorts of troupers who stick to old showbiz adages like “the show must go on”, in which case you’d be wrong, as it seems Andrew O’Keefe had a bit of a sniffle last week and chucked a sickie from Deal Or No Deal filmings, leaving studio audience members fuming. In an inconvenient and costly situation for the network, the recording was cancelled at the last minute after host O’Keefe called in sick with the flu. I’m sure the 200 audience members were “furious” and jammed the Seven switchboards once they got home, demanding O’Keefe be replaced with a powerful cyborg who will never get sick and provide confusing money-related entertainment for approximately the next 15 million years. But really, giving any column inches to O’Keefe’s day off is really just an excuse to post THE most hilarious promotional photo of all time: Bask in its glory, for he is the light. More »

Michael Hutchence’s Siblings Continue To Honour His Memory Via eBay Sales

1:25PM Clem Bastow | When it comes to “they’d be rolling in their graves” behaviour of deceased celebrities’ families after their loved one has passed away, you’d struggle to find a more worthy contender for the “worst ever” crown than the Hutchences. As though it wasn’t bad enough that Rhett Hutchence had hawked a few bags of brother Michael’s belongings and scribblings on eBay (though he stopped short of using one of my favourite related phrases, “It’s what he would’ve wanted”), now sister Tina has caught the auction bug, logging on with a particularly naff username to offload some Michael memorabilia: Under the guise of the distasteful username lilytigerlily – a reference to the Australian rocker’s daughter – Tina Hutchence endeavoured to sell the handwritten lyrics to the INXS track Wild Life featured on the band’s highest-selling 1987 album, Kick. “Written on an 8-inch by 12-inch page in Michael Hutchence’s scratchy handwriting, torn out of a notebook,” the item description reads. “It was among some papers Michael left in storage in Hong Kong and turned over to his family in 1999. “The paper is slightly discoloured but in good condition.” After initially listing the item at a starting bid of $US300, Hutchence – who lives in Nevada – shut down the sale when potential buyers began asking too many questions about the authenticity of the lyrics. The irony in all this, as though I need to point it out, is that the Hutchence clan is fond of dissing Tiger’s adoptive dad, Bob Geldof, for his apparently poor family credentials, when in actuality the Hutchences could probably do to take a few leaves out of Sir Bob’s book. Ten bucks says sooner or later one of them will pick up a belt at the op shop and try to pass it off as “an important piece of memorabilia for any INXS fan or collector, LOOK NOW! Rare!” More »

Lily Allen Is Doing Greeaassshht

12:29PM Clem Bastow | Since I’ve not had time to code that “Lily Allen has had a tough year so far” generator I’m sure I’ve mentioned many times before, I’ll have to type it again: Lily Allen has had a tough year so far, and seems to be dealing with it in a manner more suited to pre-”marriage has changed me” Robert Downey Jr. than the sunny young thing she used to be. In Cannes – for, um, the Film Festival, I guess? – it appears Lily is having a right royal time, getting her cans out, partying on, and generally drinking too much and passing out. And the whispers on the street suggest that Lily’s party time may be up. Go team awesome!! It culminated on Thursday in her apparently performing an alcoholic faint in a taxi on the way back to her hotel; her father – in town to promote his new film about Princess Diana and Dodi – held her by the scruff of the neck as if she were a sleeping puppy. A few hours previously, after enjoying vodka and lychee cocktails at a screening of the movie How To Lose Friends And Alienate People, she was to be found face down on her table next to a rather splendid floral arrangement. It’s one thing to enjoy a party but on this occasion the singer, hailed as one of the brightest young talents of recent years, seemed intent on becoming completely obliterated by alcohol – and it was an alarming sight. You know, normally I scoff at the Mail’s hysterical coverage of celebrities’ downfalls (all the better to sell papers with, after all), but in this instance I’m inclined to side with them. The photo of Lily passed out at the table – with a still smoking fag between her fingers – should be ringing all sorts of alarm bells, but instead it seems dad Keith thinks it’s all a right laff! Good on ya, dad! More »