Thursday, May 15, 2008
New Jay Mohr Sitcom Funnier Than Tourette’s Humor
11:14AM Seth | Here’s your first glimpse at Jay Mohr’s new CBS sitcom, Project Gary. Did that kid just say, “Tap it?” OMG! He did! LOL! [TV Week] People, for crying out loud, it’s a picture of Curious George! It’s not like he put “OBAMA in ‘08″ underneath a picture of Chim-Chim from Speed Racer. Now that would have been racist. (And just plain mean.) [Boston Herald] It’s the America’s Next Top Model finale liveblog with the Jezebelers! But don’t peek yet, ’cause they are three hours ahead. [Jezebel] Woody Allen: “Can I ask you what your favourite commandment is?” Billy Graham: “Right now, it’s Honour Thy Father and Thy Mother.” Woody: “Really? That’s my least favourite commandment.” [BoingBoing] Anne Heche is worth $34,840.93, says Anne Heche. [TMZ] More »
Dolly Parton Threatening To Sue Howard Stern For Tossing Her Lovely Audio Book Into A Filth Salad (NSFW)
10:55AM Seth | We really take no pleasure in informing you that two of our idols—early tickle-machine adopter Howard Stern and top-heavy country legend Dolly Parton—are currently at war, but such is the case. To get you up to date, last week, Stern broadcast edited portions of her self-narrated audio book to form several beyond-filthy phrases. (Like, seriously: NSFW. This is the kind of stuff you imagine hearing at a 4 a.m. “Aristocrats” session around Bob Saget’s jacuzzi after a night of Tuaca shots and blow. As such, it’s hilarious.) Parton has had a listen, and released this statement in response: More »
One Bad Joke Made By Jack Black Forces Angelina Jolie To Confirm Presence Of The Chosen Twins
10:40AM Molly Friedman | Despite the fact that just about everyone and their favourite blog have known that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are expecting two Chosen Ones this time around, heroin dabbler-turned-UN Ambassador Jolie had yet to officially confirm the news. And until a Today Show interview taped today in Cannes, featuring Jolie and co-star Jack Black promoting their upcoming animated flick Kung Fu Panda, we’re pretty sure the very pregnant actress would have kept her lips sealed until the day those magical spawns open their cherubic eyes for the first time. But thanks to an impromptu joke made by Black, Jolie was put on the spot, and clever Today host Natalie Morales took full advantage of it…
10:05AM Defamer Hollywood | And now, a very important public service announcement from Defamer: Tomorrow begins the annual Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month, a period of close scrutiny SHIT FIRE ENGINE WOOOOOOOOO HONK!!! of the ravages of and treatments available for this mysterious neurological disorder affecting an APPLE PIE DOGCUNT!!! estimated 200,000 Americans. “Although coverage on the air and in print has led thousands of children and adults to proper diagnosis of the condition, many more are troubled by symptoms which remain undiagnosed,” said Judit Ungar, executive director of CHICKEN CHICKEN FUCKTWAT ROHYYYYPNOLLLLL!!!! the Tourette Syndrome Association, in a statement released today. Ungar added that the primary goal of TS Awareness Month is to encourage people to seek HUMPHUMPHUMPHUMP!!!!! medical attention for potential symptoms, which include rapid eye blinking, involuntary jerking or shrugging, or, in about 15 percent of cases, the manifestation of ASSCOCK MICK JAGGER!!!! obscene phrases (coprolalia) or gestures (copropraxia). Spread the word about Tourette Syndrome this month and every month, and visit the Association’s Web site for more information on how you can get involved with BABY JESUS VAGINA!!!! finding a cure. [TSA] More »
10:05AM Defamer Hollywood | And now, a very important public service announcement from Defamer: Tomorrow begins the annual Tourette Syndrome Awareness Month, a period of close scrutiny SHIT FIRE ENGINE WOOOOOOOOO HONK!!! of the ravages of and treatments available for this mysterious neurological disorder affecting an APPLE PIE DOGCUNT!!! estimated 200,000 Americans. “Although coverage on the air and in print has led thousands of children and adults to proper diagnosis of the condition, many more are troubled by symptoms which remain undiagnosed,” said Judit Ungar, executive director of CHICKEN CHICKEN FUCKTWAT ROHYYYYPNOLLLLL!!!! the Tourette Syndrome Association, in a statement released today. Ungar added that the primary goal of TS Awareness Month is to encourage people to seek HUMPHUMPHUMPHUMP!!!!! medical attention for potential symptoms, which include rapid eye blinking, involuntary jerking or shrugging, or, in about 15 percent of cases, the manifestation of ASSCOCK MICK JAGGER!!!! obscene phrases (coprolalia) or gestures (copropraxia). Spread the word about Tourette Syndrome this month and every month, and visit the Association’s Web site for more information on how you can get involved with BABY JESUS VAGINA!!!! finding a cure. [TSA] More »
Lindsay Lohan’s Fetish For Boyfriend-Stealing Strikes Yet Again
9:40AM Molly Friedman | When it comes to the art of stealing boyfriends, no one does it better than Lindsay Lohan. As Star reports in their current issue, the blood-sucking barer of flesh successfully seduced her former slim fast buddy Nicole Richie’s fiance this weekend. And her timing is suspiciously awful, considering new mum Richie is said to be sorely missing her party girl past. As a source tells Star:
Everybody Wants Some In ‘Sex: The Revolution’
8:55AM Mark Graham | While the Michael Hirschorn era at Vh1 will likely be best remembered for bringing pop culture talking heads (I Love The…, Best Week Ever), washed-up celebs (Surreal Life) and horny musicians (Flavor Of Love, Rock Of Love) into millions of homes, there is one program from his tenure that was just as critically acclaimed as it was popular. Back in the summer of 2006, a four-part documentary called The Drug Years aired to rave reviews — Variety called it a “fascinating insight into the growth of the counterculture and … its eventual hangover” — and arguably became the first series in the channel’s history that was equally appealing to pop culture enthusiasts and intellectuals. Now, after nearly two years worth of research and production, the same creative team that put The Drug Years together has returned with a brand new four-part doc entitled Sex: The Revolution. Defamer recently sat down with series writer Martin Torgoff and executive producer Brad Abramson to talk about the series that, as Torgoff explains, puts its focus on “how the sexual revolution fed into the dynamic of what became the Culture Wars in the United States.” More »
Seen At Cannes: Phillip Morris Is Jim Carrey’s Boo
8:30AM Seth | Snapped at Cannes by Cinematical, it’s the only known billboard for Jim Carrey/Ewan McGregor con-on-con gay prison romance I Love You Phillip Morris. At first glance, the tasteful campaign seems to be going for something like an Anderson Cooper Christmas card. A mere ten seconds later, however, the slats on the mechanized sign rotate, revealing a far edgier tableau of a Versace-clad and spray-tanned Carrey offering horsey rides to a bethonged and delighted Rodrigo Santoro. More »
Top Five Most Cringeworthy Facial Hair Moments In Cinematic History
8:15AM Molly Friedman | We didn’t think it was possible, but the insanely dateable John Krasinski is not looking so hot these days. Due to an upcoming role in the Sam Mendes-directed Farlanders, John is sporting a nasty beard that resembles something one of the Geico cavemen would wear. And while we’d never judge an actor for tossing out their razors for months for the sake of their craft, this terrible beard inspired us to take a look back at the most cringeworthy facial hair in cinematic history. From one actor’s frizzy salt-and-pepper rat’s nest to one mustache’s journey inside another man’s taint, our top five lie after the jump: More »
