Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Living La Vida Lohan
11:00AM Mark Graham | · Get ready for the summer of exploitation on E! If Denise Richards or Dating Nightmares doesn’t do it for ya, might we interest you in the White Oprah and her fame-starved daughter Ali? Nothing warms our cockles like the sight of a table full of sycophantic slags toasting a 14-year-old’s non-existant career with champagne! [E!] · What better way to honour Bea Arthur on her birthday than by counting down her 10 best moments? [BWE] · Videogum is on the hunt for TWMOAT. What’s that, you ask? The Worst Movie Of All-Time, natch. [Videogum] · While the hot Muppet meme of the moment seems to be Sad Kermit singing “Needle In The Hay”, we here at Defamer HQ vastly prefer Miss Piggy’s tribute to “Fuck The Pain Away.” [YouTube via Fimoculous] · Larry Levine, the recording engineer who helped bring Phil Spector’s “Wall Of Sound” to life, passed away at the age of 80. Roll down your windows and play The Ronettes’ “Be My Baby” extra loud tonight in his honour. [LAT]
What Time Is It? DJ Blaz0r Time!
10:39AM Jess McGuire | Bless his demented cotton socks, my YouTube subscription channel informs me DJ Blaz0r is back and better than ever. If you need a refresher course, click here, then here, and then here.
And now check out his sizzling latest video.
More » 
The Finale Of ‘The Hills’: ‘Imagine Everything You’ve Seen And Then Completely Unimagine It’
10:35AM Molly Friedman | Last night, we tearfully watched as the third season of that Adderall-fuelled pity party known as The Hills came to a wisdom-filled conclusion. So what did we learn last night? Aside from newly cropped and suddenly hot Justin Bobby teaching Audrina (and us) that living alone means you can “come home and cook something,” and shockingly, “have people over,” Methanie Pratt managed to summarize the entire season’s course on Lives Of The Blonde And Vapid by telling villainous Spencer that one should always “think really hard before you do anything.” Below we bring you three tidbits to carry with you forever, involving drinking on the job, dieting leessons, and when the appropriate time to “shush” someone is: More »
BB08: Dear God, Let This Be The Last Time I Have To Type The Words “Big Brother”, “Carson Kressley”, And “Makeover” Today
9:21AM Jess McGuire | On the off chance you somehow missed last night’s blogging binge, the focus of which was photos of Big Brother housemates post-Carson Kressley makeover, then allow me to make things.a little easier for you. If you trawl through the site (and lord knows, you’re welcome to!), you may find it starts to look like a Queer Eye version of Being John Malkovich – Carson Kressley! Everywhere! As far as the eye can see! SEND HELP!
Here is where you can find Carson’s handywork on that daft blonde muppet Corey.
And here is where you can see what Carson did with the other blonde muppet of the house, Brigitte The Shoe Slapping Saxon Hater.
For a geezer at Terri’s makeover, click here.
To see the clean cut masterpiece that is Ben, bang yer mouse on this.
To cop a look at a group shot, go here. Immediately.
Praise be, that’s it. No more Big Brother today, unless they suddenly go all Lord Of The Flies on each other and start chanting “kill the piggy” and hold kitchen implements against the throat of the least popular housemate, I promise.
More » 
Warning: A Broken Heart May Lead To Drink Driving Charges
9:04AM Jess McGuire | It’s wonderful when close friends of celebs care enough to contact gossip columns and give them the lowdown on exactly what was on a troubled star’s mind when said star happened to plonk their metaphorical expensive footwear into a metaphorical steaming pile of legal poo.
That’s exactly what the Herald Sun’s Confidential column is reporting, with Alex Dimitriades’ chums spilling their guts about the reason behind the Underbelly actor’s recent brush with the law. It was a broken heart, Your Honour/court of public opinion!
Friends of Alex Dimitriades have blamed lovesickness and the success of Underbelly for his drink-driving arrest, while his co-star has gotten a new gig.
More » 
8:50AM Seth | A rumour circulating today that Paul Newman has died (gah!) is debunked by Hollywood’s Original Blogger™ Army Archerd: “NEWS FLASH: After hearing reports of Paul Newman’s death from Associated Press and CNN, I found out that acting legend Paul Newman is doing just fine, according to Joanne Woodward. In fact, he’s racing around cars in Texas!” Got it? That reads “Texas,” not “Heaven.” [armyarcherd.com] More »
8:50AM Seth | A rumour circulating today that Paul Newman has died (gah!) is debunked by Hollywood’s Original Blogger™ Army Archerd: “NEWS FLASH: After hearing reports of Paul Newman’s death from Associated Press and CNN, I found out that acting legend Paul Newman is doing just fine, according to Joanne Woodward. In fact, he’s racing around cars in Texas!” Got it? That reads “Texas,” not “Heaven.” [armyarcherd.com] More »
Quelle Surprise – The New Coldplay Stuff Is Quite Good!
8:39AM Jess McGuire | When Defamer Australia heard that Coldplay were giving away the first single from their new album away for nada, we were quick to assume it’d probably be rather rubbish. After all, their last album was coma-inducing (just ask Toni Collette), and whoever once pulled Chris Martin aside and informed him his falsetto was awesome and he should overuse it to a nauseating degree ought to be shot.
But guess what? Violet Hill is actually… dare I say it… surprisingly good! It took a couple of listens before I was convinced, and the bit where he sings “Clearly I remember…” made me immediately think of the lyric from Pearl Jam’s Jeremy (”… picking on the boy”) – something I blame on a recent car trip with my mother where we listened to Triple M for longer than I care to share right now – but eventually it grabbed me, especially the rather haunting refrain of “If you loved me, why’d you let me gooooo…”.
Consider their last album’s kick off single was Speed Of Sound, and you’ll understand why this is a welcome return to some kind of form.
Hear it for yourself over at the band’s MySpazz, if you haven’t already been hit over the head with it.
But much,much better than Violet Hill is another track which is floating around from the new record, and it’s called Viva La Vida.
I was hoping some wag on YouTube would have made a nice homemade clip for it already, but EMI has been pulling down tributes like Malcolm Fraser pulls down pants (erm, so they’ve done it at least once, as far as I can tell), so you’ll have to make do with this gents’ rendition of it.
Or maybe you’d prefer a cover group’s efforts – they’re known as the Coldplayers, for god’s sake, so you know they’re “enthusiastic” about the whole thing.
And there you have it. Coldplay, you’ve shocked me. I am pleasantly impressed and happy to admit it publicly – c’mon, no one likes a coolsie dickhead who is too proud to admit they like something which might be unfashionable in the eyes of some, right? Right?
Right.
More » 
Tracing Shia LaBeouf Back To His Humble Origins As An Echo Park Hot Dog Carnie
8:25AM Seth | Watching Shia LaBeouf recount for David Letterman the amusing circumstances surrounding his arrest last November at a Chicago Walgreens for drunken, public benzoyl-peroxide abuse, we were suddenly left wanting to know how—likable as he is—he so quickly ascended to superstar status. Well, that’s the great thing about media-saturation campaigns riding the coattails of massive summer movie releases: Those kinds of wishes are easily granted. According to a profile in the new GQ, it all started when Steven Spielberg saw LaBeouf’s Disturbia audition tape, and instantly cast him in Transformers and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. That was easy! But just who is this charismatic, precocious, and ridiculously named young man? And from whence does he come? Not too far, as GQ reports—in fact, as close by as a travelling tubesteak sideshow in Echo Park:
