May 14, 2008

Living La Vida Lohan

Posted by Mark Graham at 11:00 AM on May 14, 2008

· Get ready for the summer of exploitation on E! If Denise Richards or Dating Nightmares doesn't do it for ya, might we interest you in the White Oprah and her fame-starved daughter Ali? Nothing warms our cockles like the sight of a table full of sycophantic slags toasting a 14-year-old's non-existant career with champagne! [E!]
· What better way to honour Bea Arthur on her birthday than by counting down her 10 best moments? [BWE]
· Videogum is on the hunt for TWMOAT. What's that, you ask? The Worst Movie Of All-Time, natch. [Videogum]
· While the hot Muppet meme of the moment seems to be Sad Kermit singing "Needle In The Hay", we here at Defamer HQ vastly prefer Miss Piggy's tribute to "Fuck The Pain Away." [YouTube via Fimoculous]
· Larry Levine, the recording engineer who helped bring Phil Spector's "Wall Of Sound" to life, passed away at the age of 80. Roll down your windows and play The Ronettes' "Be My Baby" extra loud tonight in his honour. [LAT]

Read More »

What Time Is It? DJ Blaz0r Time!

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 10:39 AM on May 14, 2008

Bless his demented cotton socks, my YouTube subscription channel informs me DJ Blaz0r is back and better than ever. If you need a refresher course, click here, then here, and then here.

And now check out his sizzling latest video.

The Finale Of 'The Hills': 'Imagine Everything You've Seen And Then Completely Unimagine It'

Posted by Molly Friedman at 10:35 AM on May 14, 2008

Last night, we tearfully watched as the third season of that Adderall-fuelled pity party known as The Hills came to a wisdom-filled conclusion. So what did we learn last night? Aside from newly cropped and suddenly hot Justin Bobby teaching Audrina (and us) that living alone means you can "come home and cook something," and shockingly, "have people over," Methanie Pratt managed to summarize the entire season's course on Lives Of The Blonde And Vapid by telling villainous Spencer that one should always "think really hard before you do anything." Below we bring you three tidbits to carry with you forever, involving drinking on the job, dieting leessons, and when the appropriate time to "shush" someone is:

Read More »

BB08: Dear God, Let This Be The Last Time I Have To Type The Words "Big Brother", "Carson Kressley", And "Makeover" Today

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 9:21 AM on May 14, 2008

carsonwtf.jpgOn the off chance you somehow missed last night's blogging binge, the focus of which was photos of Big Brother housemates post-Carson Kressley makeover, then allow me to make things.a little easier for you. If you trawl through the site (and lord knows, you're welcome to!), you may find it starts to look like a Queer Eye version of Being John Malkovich - Carson Kressley! Everywhere! As far as the eye can see! SEND HELP!

Here is where you can find Carson's handywork on that daft blonde muppet Corey.

And here is where you can see what Carson did with the other blonde muppet of the house, Brigitte The Shoe Slapping Saxon Hater.

For a geezer at Terri's makeover, click here.

To see the clean cut masterpiece that is Ben, bang yer mouse on this.

To cop a look at a group shot, go here. Immediately.

Praise be, that's it. No more Big Brother today, unless they suddenly go all Lord Of The Flies on each other and start chanting "kill the piggy" and hold kitchen implements against the throat of the least popular housemate, I promise.

Warning: A Broken Heart May Lead To Drink Driving Charges

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 9:04 AM on May 14, 2008

alexd.jpgIt's wonderful when close friends of celebs care enough to contact gossip columns and give them the lowdown on exactly what was on a troubled star's mind when said star happened to plonk their metaphorical expensive footwear into a metaphorical steaming pile of legal poo.

That's exactly what the Herald Sun's Confidential column is reporting, with Alex Dimitriades' chums spilling their guts about the reason behind the Underbelly actor's recent brush with the law. It was a broken heart, Your Honour/court of public opinion!

Friends of Alex Dimitriades have blamed lovesickness and the success of Underbelly for his drink-driving arrest, while his co-star has gotten a new gig.

Read More »

Posted by Seth at 8:50 AM on May 14, 2008

A rumour circulating today that Paul Newman has died (gah!) is debunked by Hollywood's Original Blogger™ Army Archerd: "NEWS FLASH: After hearing reports of Paul Newman's death from Associated Press and CNN, I found out that acting legend Paul Newman is doing just fine, according to Joanne Woodward. In fact, he's racing around cars in Texas!" Got it? That reads "Texas," not "Heaven." [armyarcherd.com]

Read More »

Quelle Surprise - The New Coldplay Stuff Is Quite Good!

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 8:39 AM on May 14, 2008

When Defamer Australia heard that Coldplay were giving away the first single from their new album away for nada, we were quick to assume it'd probably be rather rubbish. After all, their last album was coma-inducing (just ask Toni Collette), and whoever once pulled Chris Martin aside and informed him his falsetto was awesome and he should overuse it to a nauseating degree ought to be shot.

But guess what? Violet Hill is actually... dare I say it... surprisingly good! It took a couple of listens before I was convinced, and the bit where he sings "Clearly I remember..." made me immediately think of the lyric from Pearl Jam's Jeremy ("... picking on the boy") - something I blame on a recent car trip with my mother where we listened to Triple M for longer than I care to share right now - but eventually it grabbed me, especially the rather haunting refrain of "If you loved me, why'd you let me gooooo...".

Consider their last album's kick off single was Speed Of Sound, and you'll understand why this is a welcome return to some kind of form.

Hear it for yourself over at the band's MySpazz, if you haven't already been hit over the head with it.

But much,much better than Violet Hill is another track which is floating around from the new record, and it's called Viva La Vida.

I was hoping some wag on YouTube would have made a nice homemade clip for it already, but EMI has been pulling down tributes like Malcolm Fraser pulls down pants (erm, so they've done it at least once, as far as I can tell), so you'll have to make do with this gents' rendition of it.

Or maybe you'd prefer a cover group's efforts - they're known as the Coldplayers, for god's sake, so you know they're "enthusiastic" about the whole thing.

And there you have it. Coldplay, you've shocked me. I am pleasantly impressed and happy to admit it publicly - c'mon, no one likes a coolsie dickhead who is too proud to admit they like something which might be unfashionable in the eyes of some, right? Right?

Right.

Tracing Shia LaBeouf Back To His Humble Origins As An Echo Park Hot Dog Carnie

Posted by Seth at 8:25 AM on May 14, 2008

Watching Shia LaBeouf recount for David Letterman the amusing circumstances surrounding his arrest last November at a Chicago Walgreens for drunken, public benzoyl-peroxide abuse, we were suddenly left wanting to know how—likable as he is—he so quickly ascended to superstar status. Well, that's the great thing about media-saturation campaigns riding the coattails of massive summer movie releases: Those kinds of wishes are easily granted. According to a profile in the new GQ, it all started when Steven Spielberg saw LaBeouf's Disturbia audition tape, and instantly cast him in Transformers and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. That was easy! But just who is this charismatic, precocious, and ridiculously named young man? And from whence does he come? Not too far, as GQ reports—in fact, as close by as a travelling tubesteak sideshow in Echo Park:

Read More »

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 8:00 AM on May 14, 2008

No stranger to biopics, Leonardo DiCaprio may be in line to portray another 20th-century figure in Fleming, a film chronicling the life of James Bond creator Ian Fleming. Outgoing LA Times columnist Jay Fernandez reports today that DiCaprio's Appian Way shingle has signed on to produce Damian Stevenson's script, which the writer insists is "the real James Bond. ... In England, Ian Fleming's exploits are much better well known. Talking to people out here, no one had any idea that M was based on a real person, Miss Moneypenny was based on a real person." As such, Fernandez notes that Stevenson spent months convincing his buyers at Warner Bros. about the script's "historical accuracy" — which we hoped would mean fresh dirt on Fleming's notorious penchant for rough sex but, alas, seems only to refer to his own Naval intelligence background that informed the Bond character. Hence, we presume, DiCaprio "[taking] the script in a different direction with a new writer." And who can blame him? The guy's been wanting to spank someone since James Cameron cut the BDSM subplot from Titanic. [LAT]

Read More »

Red-Hot E! to Showcase Rape, Murder and Other Modern Dating Hassles

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 7:35 AM on May 14, 2008

It seems like only yesterday our souls smoldered with the consideration of E!'s Going Postal: 15 Most Shocking Acts of Violence, which featured such eye-popping entertainments as Columbine video footage and Virginia Tech massacre flashbacks interwoven with frequent teases for The Soup and E! News. We could hardly wait for the phenomenon to return — say, with something like ROFL: America's Most Heinous Animal Abuse or maybe the rollicking Joel McHale special Molestered. We'll settle, however, for this Friday's ambitious premiere THS Investigates: Dating Nightmares:

Read More »

Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson, And The Case Of The Mystery Hickey

Posted by Molly Friedman at 6:40 AM on May 14, 2008

New roommates Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are currently on a jaunt to Europe to shop, enjoy Paris in the springtime and to suck each other's blood. Seen out and about pretending to visit museums while really just trying on clothes and doing who-knows-what behind the dressing room doors, one half of the uber-couple made a wrong turn by flashing the paparazzi some neck. And while we haven't had to don a turtleneck to cover up hickeys in quite some time, memory serves to confirm that yes, one of the BFFs appears to be sporting one massive bite mark. So who's the sucker and who's the suckee?

Read More »

Yes, They Kiss: Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz Get Close in New Woody Allen Trailer

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 6:10 AM on May 14, 2008

First things first: Yes, the accompanying new teaser for Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona, features about two seconds of Penélope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson kissing. Everyone else is kissing as well: Cruz on Javier Bardem, Bardem on Johansson, so on, so forth. It's apparently the only thing happening in the film, as no sound emerges from peoples mouths when they speak, and no discernible plot line emerges in a minute and a half. We won't spoil the ending, but... Actually we will spoil the ending: Cruz fires a gun at you, the viewer. And as you try to position your head in front of the bullet, you've never felt more grateful. Thanks again for nothing, Weinstein Company. [YouTube]

Read More »

Kim Cattrall Pulls A Britney And Parties Barefoot In London, Reveals Freaky Feet

Posted by Molly Friedman at 5:50 AM on May 14, 2008

What is it about London that makes otherwise prim actresses turn into girls gone wild? At last night's premiere of SATC: The Movie across the pond, sex book author and Police Academy alum Kim Cattrall decided to do away with those pesky accessories we're all (aside from Britney) forced to wear in public: her shoes. The good news? As Cameron Diaz proved at the premiere of Charlie's Angels, walking the red carpet barefoot attracts some great press. The bad? Cattrall's shoe-less night on the town revealed the most frightening pair of tootsies we've seen in recent memory, and Kim's reported late-night behaviour was eerily reminiscent of the night Renee Zellweger painted London red last month.

Read More »

Steve Martin And Diane Keaton To Bicker At A Cineplex Near You

Posted by Seth at 5:30 AM on May 14, 2008

· Paramount bought Steve Martin's pitch From Zero to Sixty, which legend has it he apparently sold with three words: "Steve. Diane. Lamborghinis."[Variety]
· Will & Grace star Megan Mullally returns to sitcomdom playing opposite Alicia Silverstone in ABC sitcom pilot Bad Mother's Handbook. [Variety]
· American Gladiators tanked in the ratings, leading the order, "Skimpier costumes! NOW!" to reverberate out of Ben Silverman's office. [THR]
· CBS gives that show with Christine in the title and How I Met Your Mother full-season pickups. [THR]
· ABC is only ordering two new series, including a final, 13-episode order for Boston Legal.

Read More »

Jimmy Fallon Drops By 'Conan' To Remind You Why You'll Never Tune Into NBC At 12:30 A.M. Again

Posted by Seth at 5:10 AM on May 14, 2008

Jimmy Fallon popped by Late Night to address yesterday's announcement that he would be taking over for host Conan O'Brien in 2009, an announcement greeted with wide-eyed, Christmas Eve wonder by the three TV executives who hired him, and, "Wait—that annoying dude from those DJ sketches on Saturday Night Live?" from everyone else.

Read More »

Amateur Publicist Joel Silver Has Wachowskis' Backs For the Last Time

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 4:50 AM on May 14, 2008

In a loooooong video interview with David Poland over at Movie City News, producer Joel Silver chats about the prismatic, pyrotechnic up and downs of his career — the latter of which the bomb Speed Racer likely entered in the time since the modulated mogul sat for this conversation. And while he eventually acknowledges still dreading opening weekends and the Saturday morning silence that follows his weaker openings, he wastes little time defending the Wachowskis' career-suffocating reclusion and his role as de facto mouthpiece: "It ends up being harder for me because I end up being the voice for them. I wish sometimes they'd speak for themselves because they're much smarter than I am, and they're much more articulate than I am. ... I just listen to them relate to everybody and I say, 'Here's what they think.' That's how it happens." No, Joel — we think you mean that's how it happened. Time for a change, big guy. [The Hot Blog]

Read More »

Gwyneth Loses The Short Skirts And Hooker Heels For Au Naturel 'GQ' Shoot

Posted by Molly Friedman at 4:10 AM on May 14, 2008

As we've been noting throughout Gwyneth Paltrow's incredibly successful campaign to rack up attention during her Iron Man press tour, her wardrobe has been just this side of trampy. In the last few weeks, transparent dresses (but they're designer!), S&M shoes (eccentric!), and clavicle accented jumpsuits have all been pulled out of the twice-retired actress' bag of tricks. But now that we've seen just what lies inside the June issue of British GQ, we think this sexy train has reached its final destination. Yes, Gwyneth has dropped trou, but listening to her tell it, it's just not that big of a deal, okay?

Paltrow states she isn't trying to court controversy with the new photo, insisting it's just an innocent shot. The mother-of-two says, "I'm not going out without my knickers, and I'm not getting drunk and I'm not on my eighth husband."

While we do appreciate her usage of "knickers" in a British glossy, we feel obligated to point out that her statement just isn't entirely true.

Read More »

Shayne Lamas's Performance Of A Lifetime

Posted by Seth at 3:55 AM on May 14, 2008

Sure, we all endured the Rose Ceremony hoops, but was there really any doubt in our minds who Matt Grant—the most British Bachelor ever!—would choose at the end of his lady-shopping journey? The second he laid eyes on Lamas Family acting dynasty heiress Shayne Lamas, our funny-sounding Casanova was a goner. Sad as that was for first runner-up Chelsea, who was commended for her loveliness and offered her choice of Whirlpool appliances in exchange for her time, it resulted in a jackpot romantic payday for Shayne.

Read More »

Gifted Cindy Adams Rewrites 'W' Script Just in Time for Shooting

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 3:35 AM on May 14, 2008

In her latest gesture of a humane tradition that includes everything from A-list fetus guarding to Yorkie rescue/fetishization, Cindy Adams today saves readers the $11 they would have shelled out to see Oliver Stone's W when it opens this October. While we'd obviously read a few mildly tantalising reviews in the last month (which is evidently news to Adams, who appears to think she's the only one who's nabbed a copy of the script) it takes a certain rare, Cindyesque fortitude and genius to condense the entirety of Stanley Weiser's 125-page screenplay to a single gossip column in the New York Post:

Read More »

Denise Richards Confides In E! Cameraman That She Has A Bad Boy Problem

Posted by Seth at 2:48 AM on May 14, 2008

From the network that brought you such essential Hollywood lifestyle viewing as Hangin' With the Kardashians As They Talk About Makeup in Their Money-Laundering-Front Dress Shop comes a new reality series that should prove to be no less compelling. In this preview for E!'s Denise Richards: It's Complicated (original title: A Shot at Love with Denise Richards and Her Two Demi-Orphans As a Result of their Sex-Addict Father Running Off to Follow His Cheerleader Orgy Dreams and Falling For the Trampy Love of His Life in the Process), Richards discovers her page on celebrity STD-transmission tracker whosdatedwho.com, and is forced to address some of the questionable life choices she's made.

Read More »

Resolution No. 3: Put The Weinstein Company to Death For Forthcoming 'Fraggle Rock' Film

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 2:30 AM on May 14, 2008

WHEREAS, The Weinstein Company is a theatrical releasing venture co-owned by the brothers Bob and Harvey Weinstein, and


Read More »

'Nailed' Returns as Troubled Producers Search For Stability

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 2:00 AM on May 14, 2008

All the drama affecting David O. Russell's new film Nailed settled down a bit Monday when production resumed on the South Carolina set. But while the producers squared away their money issues with SAG, which shut shooting down last Friday, our own suspicions about precariously-budgeted distributor ThinkFilm got another look from Variety yesterday afternoon:

Read More »

BB08: Let's Take A Look At A Nice Post-Makeover Group Shot, Eh?

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 12:51 AM on May 14, 2008

carsonwtf.jpgAnd what do you have left in your bag of tricks, Carson Kressley? Can you make the whole house look tappable using only your pink wits and a Endemol Southern Star credit card? We've no doubt you can.

There's a charming group snap after the jump for you, gluttons for punishment Big Brother fans!


Read More »

Swinging With Indy

Posted by Seth at 12:50 AM on May 14, 2008

· There are 27 different movies in this Indy-themed swingstravaganza. (And at least one classic Activision Atari 2600 title.) How many can you name? [Black20]
· Dennis Farina was so preoccupied worrying about gels and liquids, he had a total brainfart about the .22 he was carrying through LAX security. [LAT]
· It seems a certain Chace Crawford is getting invited to George Clooney after-parties and mobbed by the Cruises, and Penn Badgley isn't. XOXO, Defamer Girl [NY Daily News]
· Isaiah Washington filed a complaint with SAG over Grey's Anatomy's use of his photo in a newspaper article about his character on last week's episode. [Reuters]
· Hey—unicorns!

BB08: Preppy Ben Gets... Preppier

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 12:40 AM on May 14, 2008

carsonwtf.jpgI got into trouble the other day when I texted a friend and confided I would totally "tap" preppy know-it-all Ben. But you know what? Carson Kressley's revamped version of Ben makes me less ashamed of that confession.

Not really, but see what I'm talking about after the jump...


Read More »

Live, From New York, It's Saturday Night: Defamer Pays A Visit To Studio 8H

Posted by Mark Graham at 12:40 AM on May 14, 2008

It's difficult to properly convey to you the excitement level that hits you the second you walk through the revolving doors at 30 Rockefeller Centre before a live taping of Saturday Night Live. After all, it's one of the hardest tickets to get in show business. So, unlike a concert or athletic event where you can see the eyes of some attendees glazing over from boredom, everyone who is in attendance is someone who desperately wants to be there. As anyone who is in the building will attest, the energy in these moments is both palpable and kinetic. And that's just in the lobby of the ground floor of the building!

Read More »

BB08: Material Girl Brigitte Has A Delcious Hit From Glamour Bong - So Screw You, Saxon!

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 12:35 AM on May 14, 2008

carsonwtf.jpgHow on earth could you make uber-blonde bombshell Brigitte hotter than she already thinks she is? Carson Kressley, work your stuff after the jump!


Read More »

BB08: Terri Gets Sexy!

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 12:19 AM on May 14, 2008

carsonwtf.jpgOf course, Corey wasn't the only housemate to cop a make over at the hands of professional homosexualist style guru Carson Kressley when the American bombshell hit the Dreamworld compound tonight.

After the jump, take a look at the all new Terri!


Read More »

BB08: Quentin Carson Crashes The Big Brother House!

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 12:19 AM on May 14, 2008

carsonwtf.jpgNow what is former Queer Eye For The Straight Guy fashion guru Carson Kressley in the middle of doing in this photo, eh? Why, he's sharing some of his special couture secrets, that's what!

Yes, Carson - a man who appears willing to pop up anywhere for a fee, and god bless him for it (I always secretly wanted him to be a member of my fabulous posse of savvy homosexuals) - went into the Big Brother compound tonight for a couple of hours of EXTREME MAKEOVER-ING!

Who had he just "sorted out" when this snap of him was taken? Oh, only Corey the Party Boy, a teen who insists on wearing ridiculous head wear and sunnies most of the time, and who was in dire need of a little scrubbing up.

Check out a snap of Corey's post-Carson appearance after the jump!

Read More »