Friday, May 9, 2008
Big Brother Contestant Displays Dickhead Tendencies – No Surprises There, Then
3:26PM Jess McGuire | This is, frankly, a pisser.
Is there some hypocrisy in this given your girlfriend is a stripper?
She’s not a stripper, how do you know that. What? That’s so stupid. My girlfriend does sales and promotion. She knows a lot of girls who are strippers. She’s definitely not a stripper. The fact a strip club says it is a load of crap, and a friend could have been joking.
Why would they?
If you write that then I can get things done. I have a bit of pull, that’s how I got on the show. I can post things about you and question whether it’s true.
So you’re threatening me now?
I just know you’re going to portray me in a certain way, you’ve come up with this bullshit that someone’s said and it’s just crap.
Well, we’ve had it confirmed from Kittens that Amy works there as Ashley
It’s crap, you’re just trying to come up with some gossip, is there someone higher up I can speak to?
No
Why not?
Because this isn’t a call centre where you ask for the supervisor
Well do my lawyers have to contact you?
Well, your lawyers are free to do that at any time, we’re not hard to find
What you’re saying is total…the fact you posted that is lame. I’m saying right now that she’s not a stripper. The fake my girlfriend has fake boobs and dolls herself up…I will write stuff about you and the Daily Telegraph.
You are threatening me, aren’t you? I can tell, that was a threat
You’re gunna try and make me look like an idiot and portray me as a hypocrite because I what I said about Brigitte, I know how the media works, you’re….
I don’t think you needed our help with that, you did it yourself and seemed happy enough to bully her when you thought you had the upper hand. You implied she was smutty and said she was spoilt
My girlfriend does promotions and you’re going to write crap because you think you’re a detective and you’ve found out something someone says that is crap. I want to talk to someone higher up because obviously you’re just the person doing stuff.
I’ll tell them that you’d like to speak to someone
Oh and what, they won’t call me, why would they want to talk to me.
At least brief Big Brother “star” Michael Crafter has displayed some awareness of just how limited his time in the spolight is likely to be with that last sentence.
Garth Montgomery, Defamer Australia applauds you. Especially for that call centre riposte. Bravo!
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Where Emo Fans Go When They Die
2:05PM Jess McGuire | As easy as it is to poke fun at the angsty youth of today, with their deep love of mascara and sweeping fringes, when what first looks like a standard case of the pubescent sooks actually ends in a suicide, it’s a tragic situation and there are no laughs to be had (unless you were born without a soul and are the type of person who lists kicking elderly cripples in your Facebook interests).
So believe me when I say I am not taking the piss out of this terrible story of a thirteen year old girl who took her own life in the UK
A girl of 13 killed herself after becoming obsessed with a fashion which links death with glamour, an inquest heard. Hannah Bond hanged herself from her bunk bed with a tie after becoming an ‘Emo’.
Oh god, not again – are we really going to blame a hilariously rubbish genre of music for the death of another teenager? Is it not more likely that poor Hannah Bond was struggling with depression anyway, and the fact she wore too much eye makeup and listened to My Chemical Romance has absolutely nothing to do with her suicide? When a young sport star commits suicide, do the press go apeshit blaming the cult of Sherrin and a brutal culture which encourages phsyical aggression amongst teenage boys?
Sadly, this explanation of “emo” culture tacked onto the end of the Hannah Bond piece actually made me laugh. And then I felt awful. But come on -
The Emo phenomenon began in the U.S. in the 1980s. It is a largely teenage trend and is characterised by depression, self-injury and suicide.
Followers wear tight jeans with studded belts and wristbands. Their hair is dyed black and worn in long fringes to obscure their faces.
Emo – from the word emotional – is a reference to the angst-filled lyrics and melancholy themes of the rock music central to the culture.
One of the foremost of these “suicide cult” bands is My Chemical Romance, from New Jersey. Their first single, Welcome to the Black Parade, from the album The Black Parade, was released in 2006 and became a huge hit, going to number one in Britain.
The concept album follows the story of a character called The Patient, who dies of cancer. The Black Parade is a nickname for the place where Emo fans believe they will go when they die.
I’m sorry. Repeat that?
THE BLACK PARADE IS A NICKNAME FOR THE PLACE WHERE EMO FANS BELIEVE THEY WILL GO WHEN THEY DIE.
Unbelievable. Has anyone ever heard of this musical Valhalla, where Panic! At The Disco and Simple Plan blares through speakers constantly and everyones parents finally get them?
Lindsay Tanner is gonna have to write another presentation on “emos”, I think.
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No Country For Old She-Men
11:12AM Seth | Let’s play “What If?” What if…Javier Bardem went a different way with Anton Chigurh, and chose to go the Felicity Huffman-in-Transamerica route? Click play to find out! [Fourth Grade Gladiators] Corey Haim is back! And he looks like a lesbian dogwalker. [TMZ] Here’s the first seven minutes of Speed Racer. As Idolator Maura put it, “Watching this is like watching them set a giant pile of money on fire in slow motion.” To which we add: But the flames and sparks are so colorful! [movies.yahoo.com] Yeah, we’re with Nick Malis: We plan on staying home, and hitting Rainbow Road instead. [Malis In Wonderland] After a few hits from the corpse bong! [chron.com] And then we’re hitting this: [ThingsIDidLastNight.com] More »
Lindsay Lohan’s Intolerable Shit Costs Her ‘Manson’ Role
11:00AM Seth | Semi-rehabilitated celebrity minknapper Lindsay Lohan was all set to star in charmingly titled anti-romantic comedy The Manson Girls, the second installment of her Great Homicidal Psychopaths of Modern History Trilogy that began with Chapter 27 and was to conclude with her harrowing performance as the Austrian incest dungeon victim in The Basement, a Starz Original Film. But as Deadline Hollywood Daily now reports, Lohan has been let go from the production:
More Sackings In Gossip Mag Headquarters As We Insert Another ‘No Idea’ Gag Here
10:13AM Clem Bastow | In the scheme of things, New Idea’s year so far has been about as good as Channel Nine’s; in between breaking embargos and paying Wayne Carey to talk about getting wasted and punching his girlfriend, suffice to say it’s been a red letter start to the year for the mag.
Well, as though they didn’t already share plenty of characteristics with Nine, New Idea is now apparently going on a boning frenzy, with staffers dropping left, right and centre. Health reporter Jane Worthington was apparently sacked via a phone call this week and is the latest to go.
Her firing follows the dismissal of New Idea veterans Patrice Fidgeon and Sue Smethurst last week.
Confidential sources yesterday alleged the sackings were part of a secret hit list poised to target current staffers Phil Koch, Lee-Anne Carter and Donna Ogier for the chop next.
Publisher Suzanne Monks denied the existence of such a list, confirming the trio’s on-going employment.
“All (are) valued members of the New Idea team and are part of New Idea’s plans going forward,” she said yesterday.
In other staff changes, the magazine’s beauty writer Chelsea Clark has been promoted to associate editor.
Naturally I assume Clark actually knows how to be an associate editor and that isn’t just a classic case of women’s magazine “editor’s BFF” musical chairs.
It’s worth noting, too, that Smethurst is considering legal action as her sacking occurred two weeks before the end of her maternity leave, as is Worthington, both fighting the bonings on unfair dismissal grounds.
Awesome, top work New Idea! Walkleys all ’round! More » 
Jules Lund Is Full Of Effusive Praise For ‘Hole In The Wall’
9:56AM Clem Bastow | Given what an amazing year two-thousand-and-great has been for Channel Nine so far, it seems fitting that they are now pinning their second-half-of-the-year hopes on bonkers “game” show, Hole In The Wall.
Fittingly, they have also employed perma-tanned knob Jules Lund to host the show, and boy, isn’t he selling it!
The show will feature “celeb” contestants including Candice Falzon, Rob “Millsy” Mills and Warwick Capper.
“It’s absurd, it’s silly, it’s mindless, therefore I’m perfect to host it,” joked Lund.
“Joked”? Oh, I think Dr Freud would beg to differ, Julesy!
Seriously, who is in charge of programming decisions at Nine? How can one station get it so, so wrong, time and time again? Their dedication to extreme shitness is really reaching mind boggling levels! More » 
Game On, Moles: Australia’s Next Top Party Animal
9:13AM Clem Bastow | Even though I was rooting for Alice all the way in Australia’s Next Top Model Cycle 3, you couldn’t beat second-runner-up Jordan Loukas in the hilarity stakes. And, following that abortive Runway To LA farce, and the usual “too fat to model” fuss (too short is more likely the story, darls), I’m pleased to see Loukas is focusing on acting and presenting, since she was always too sparky to sit still and Vogue.
And I’m also pleased to read about her partying skills, which seem to be second to none!
A self-confessed “rock tragic” Loukas may have been a little overwhelmed to have been rubbing shoulders with industry veterans including You Am I’s Tim Rogers, Grinspoon’s Phil Jamieson and Silverchair’s Chris Joannou – who had assembled to support music producer turned brewer Matt Lovell launch his lager label.
Loukas clearly thought it was a solid drop, as by 10.30pm she was “absolutely trashed”, according to a party source, and jumping up and down on a couch before face-planting into the floor.
“She was clearly hammered – and even when she fell she didn’t seem to feel it,” the amused source told Confidential.
The model-turned-actress was suffering from a case of short-term memory loss when Confidential put the boozy balls-up to her yesterday, cheekily quipping: “I don’t remember that, but I can ring my friend and ask.”
Ha, “I can ring my friend and ask”, gold, gold for Australia! I’d love to see Jordan become the next Ding Dong or something – surely with all their bonings Channel Nine has an opening for the plucky Marickville babe? More » 
Roman Polanski’s Victim Apparently a Fan of ‘Roman Polanski’ Documentary
8:50AM Defamer Hollywood | The curious path of the documentary Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired took another bizarre turn this week when HBO hosted an actual red-carpet “premiere” for the film in New York — the same city where it had attempted to secretly screen the doc for a week-long Oscar-qualifying run last month. Then, as Vulture noted today, things got even weirder when Polanski’s 1977 statutory rape victim, the then-13 Samantha Geimer, showed up as one of the guests: More »
Vh1 Goes To The Has-Been Well Once Again For Upcoming ‘Heartthrobs’ Show
8:30AM Molly Friedman | There is no point fighting it anymore. Vh1 will continue to produce shows featuring has-been stars from our youth and, like moths to the TV screen, we’ll watch them cry, urinate on themselves and make out in hot tubs until the end of time. Their newest idea will feature (shocker!) Vh1 reality vet Scott Baio mentoring eight “male teen idols” of the 80s in an effort to jump-start a comeback. Since the sad little group has yet to be revealed, we went ahead and picked two former crushworthy picks we’d most like to see week after week, and the two who might force us to cancel our cable package altogether: More »
