Thursday, May 8, 2008
Trinny & Susannah Undress The Nation
9:33PM Jess McGuire | Erm, just in case I’m not the only one out there watching this (and the odds are, I’m not – IPL Twenty/20 Cricket? Thank you, but no…), I’d just like to point out how hilarious Trinny and Susannah’s po-faced approach to grabbing random British women’s tits and talking about the crime of appallingly fitted brassieres as though they were discussing atrocities in Sudan is – and by ‘hilarious’, I mean ’slap worthy’.
Kelsey Munro is right on the money by saying -
If you’re doing this kind of television, at a bare minimum you should be funny. Trinny and Susannah come across as the sort of delusionally self-involved fashionistas that Absolutely Fabulous used to parody, except they are screamingly unfunny. This is one hour of your life you’ll never get back.
You’re right, Kelsey. You’re right.
I’ve never craved an hour of Patricia Arquette’s adorably plump screen daughter’s precociousness more. I miss you, Medium! Come back, all is forgiven!
More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: White Lines, Don’t Do It
12:20PM Clem Bastow | You can pretty much put Amy Winehouse in the bucket along with Pete Doherty when it comes to drug busts and arrests these days. Evidently as soon as word went out that Winegums had been busted for crack, she’s been bailed.
Who can keep up in the fast-paced and exciting world of wasted talent and obliterated minds? It’s FUN!
Scotland Yard said that “around 1pm (11pm AEST) today a 24-year-old woman from the Camden area attended a London police station by arrangement and was arrested in connection with the alleged possession of a controlled drug.”
“This is in connection with an investigation connected to footage passed to the Metropolitan Police on January 22.”
Winehouse was not named, in line with force policy, but a spokesman for the singer said: “Amy Winehouse voluntarily attended a London police station today by appointment.
“She was arrested in order to be interviewed and is co-operating fully with inquiries. The interview relates to a video handed to police earlier this year.”
Scotland Yard said later she was released on bail.
Said video features Winegums apparently smoking crack, snorting coke and ecstasy, and presumably saying things that would make the combined editorial staff of The Sun and The Daily Mail spontaneously combust with excitement.
At this rate, the day she actually records something or releases new material, will anyone even notice? Perhaps that’s all part of her master plan. More » 
Australia’s Next Top Model 4 Round-Up: It Was, Like, So Weird
11:57AM Clem Bastow | A bit of a bland missive from Jodhi Mail central this week, mostly consisting of tears and sooks and nothing much else.
The girls were forced to “face their fears” in a live modelling ‘performance’ featuring their worst phobias, which led to the extremely entertaining sequence in which Leiden had a total meltdown over her phobia: Edward Scissorhands. Seeing Jonathon Pease patting her on the back while she wheezed and sobbed, saying, “Don’t worry, babe, he’s not here”, was the highlight of the night.
It was mostly downhill from there… More » 
‘NY Times’ Riles An Already Grumpy, Taco-Deprived Population
11:00AM Seth | Metromix L.A. posted an angry—and justifiably so, we’d say—response to a NY Times piece from earlier in the week about the movement to save L.A.’s beloved taco trucks, currently endangered thanks to new city ordinances that would limit where they can do business. (The article begins, “Los Angeles, loath to rally cohesively around a local cause, has joined hands around tortillas,” and continues to paint a portrait of an apathetic community who only manage to rally when the fate of their al pastor-access is in danger.) Decries Metromix: More »
James Blunt Keeps Up The Cats In Melbourne!
10:02AM Clem Bastow | Never let it be said that the extended Defamer Australia reader community isn’t a caring, sharing bunch. Earlier in the week we put out the call for anyone who might be able to help us/James Blunt KEEP UP THE CATS at his live gig, and look what – wait for it – the cat dragged in (ohh, I kill me!):
There he is, on stage at Rod Laver, keeping up the cats! Frances M Benz would be so happy!
Thanks to incredible Defamer reader Mel for her exemplary efforts above. You keep up those cats, Mel, you keep them way up! More » 
‘Heath Ledger’ Joker Dolls Flying Out Of Stores
9:48AM Clem Bastow | In typically ghoulish fanboy style, recently released Joker action figures from The Dark Knight (aka “Heath Ledger” dolls) have apparently been selling out more or less instantly as soon as they hit the shelves.
You know, because it looks so much like him and everything.
A Toys R Us worker told the New York Post: “There are none left in the warehouse. You will be waiting a while if you want one.”
The dolls, which sell for $9.99 (£5), are already popping up on eBay.
You know, it’s not necessarily because Heath’s sadly no longer with us, dudes – it could also just be because The Joker’s one of the best Batman characters. And, as anyone who keeps even a cursory eye on the comic-con/sci-fi/etc circuit would know, the cool figures always go first. Just wait a few months; there’ll be kids screaming in the Toys ‘R’ Us aisles because all that’s left are Harvey Dent dolls.
After all, when Transformers came out and the merch hit the shelves, do you think I could find any Starscream action figures? Nooo, and we all know he isn’t dead, and will be back in the sequel and will rule the galaxy someday, so FFS. More » 
Logie-Mad Chris Lilley Desperately Seeks Further Awards-Bait
9:32AM Clem Bastow | Well, not really – but he’s just so bloody nice, humble and well adjusted that I thought I’d have a little fantasy time in the title of this piece. Anyway, after winning two Logies at Sunday’s ceremony, Chris Lilley admitted he’s not ready to retire all of his Summer Heights High characters just yet.
And then he probably helped an old lady out of her car, carried an expectant mother’s shopping for her, and donated 96% of his income to a charity that helps save adorable puppies.
“I really like the idea of bringing characters back, like I did with (Ja’mie) from the previous series (We Can Be Heroes),” he said.
“I’d love to bring them back because it’s really sad when you have to leave them behind.”
Asked if he had a favourite, Lilley said he is “fond of them all”.
Though it may seem like sacrilege (particularly after the genius of “Toby and The Special Kids” at the Logies), I hope he brings back Jonah and not Mr G. I’d had enough of Ja’mie by the end of We Can Be Heroes, and daresay the same fate would befall a Greg Gregson encore. But I could watch Jonah until kingdom come.
Sorry, ranga! More » 
Oprah-Led Think Tank Deconstructs Mariah’s Quickie-Marriage Logic
9:23AM Seth | Today, an Oprah you simply cannot afford to miss: Watch as she, Gayle, Kelly Ripa’s husband, and some other lady try to reach a consensus over when, exactly, Mariah Carey knew she was going to marry Nick Cannon. We know! We told you! [Oprah] Speaking of Mariah—just when it seemed her week couldn’t get any better…[BBC] Gary Dourdan was officially charged with possession of heroin, cocaine and ecstasy, today. All of which he claims belonged to someone else. [Reuters] This just in! Amy Winehouse is out on bail after her recent drug-related arrest. She tried to claim they weren’t hers, too, but Scotland Yard said, “No, no, no.” LOL! [Guardian] Alan Rosenberg: The SAG talks have broken down. The livelihoods of thousands of working actors falls in your hands. So tell us…WHAT WAS MILEY THINKING?! [ca.reuters.com] The View is the catfight incubator that just keeps on giving. [Us Magazine] More »
Guess The Celebrity Nape!
9:00AM Seth | Remember those Eyeball Benders at the back of Games magazine? No? OK, never mind. Let’s just call this a photoquiz! Everyone loves a photoquiz—triple that when it’s a Celebrity Photoquiz. And so now we gesture in the vicinity of the above photo—a graceful study of the nape (one of the most underrated body-parts) of an Oscar-winning superstar. Any guesses? The answer is after the jump: More »
