Friday, May 2, 2008
Letter From The Editor
6:52PM Jess McGuire | Call me a sucker, but guess what I’ll be doing on Sunday night which doesn’t involve attending any of the great gigs on around town that evening? That’s right! If my resolve doesn’t fail me, I’ll be live blogging the Logies! With a real Logie in my hand (long story)!
Also, a quick note about how we’re gonna be running things around here from Monday onwards. We’re saying goodbye to the Royal We and heartily embracing the first person! That’s right, no more “We think…” or “As we always say…” or anything like that – we (actual we) here at Defamer Australia figure you’re already getting used to our personal styles thanks to the by lines beside posts, so why not just write for Defamer Australia from Jess & Clem points of view? This means we can argue with each other, and it will add what we hope is a delightful individual touch to things.
The US posts – which are still clearly and lovingly marked with a flag and a by line identifying the charming American author of the piece – will probably stay with the “We” schtick, and good for them.
Here’s hoping the subtle change and approach to business ’round these parts doesn’t turn everything to shit. Or even more shit, depending on your negative perspective.
See you back here on Sunday evening for wrist slicing and general merriment.
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Funniest Thing We’ve Read All Week
5:52PM Jess McGuire | Wish we could say we’d written it, but no – why break with tradition? It’s from the SayHey message board (aka the Kylie fan forum). It needs no context.
Well I just heard that Mariah is doing an Oprah special where she’ll give birth on the air and then Oprah will give everyone in the audience FREEEEEEEEE BABIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEES! Angelina will be there to hand them out. This show is scheduled for recording on 18 September.
Arf! Sent in by our Euro Correspondent.
Seen anything amazing on the web? Email us at the usual address! More » BB08: This Year’s Series Is Already Making The Baby Jesus Cry
2:07PM Jess McGuire | Oh god.
Firstly, Midget Porn TM. Excellent. We’ve all seen the photos of Rima, yeah? We’d publish them here but we don’t want to be sued, or something. Maybe it’s cos we’re highbrow. Whatever. We’re still rooting for her.
Secondly, the Big Brother online diary. Often a source of endless amusement and insights into the psyche of the housemates, this entry just made our heart hurt.
Rima and Dixie are chatting in the lounge.
While the other HMs are fast asleep in the bedroom, Dixie and Rima bond in the lounge. Dixie tells Rima she thinks Renee is one of the most genuine people in the House. “She’s no different in here to what she is in the real world,” Dixie explains. Rima agrees, “The Aussies love that personality to win. They love it.” Dixie says she hopes Renee wins. “I don’t have any interest in playing the game,” she says.
Already we’re hearing the term “playing the game”? We’d make a Big Brother Clichéd Statements Bingo! card for the folks at home to print out and play along with during the next couple of weeks, but first we need to slice ourselves with a rusty knife, roll in salt, and then soak in a nice bath filled with lemon juice.
Finally, Corey Worthington is entering the house. And releasing a Beastie Boys cover. PUNCH US IN THE HEAD UNTIL WE LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS, PLEASE. Other than that amazing interview on Today Tonight, has Corey displayed any signs of being an entertaining character? Our only hope is that Corey uses his STUNNING PARTY THROWING SKILLS to somehow smuggle a bewildered bus of tourists expecting to go nuts at Wet & Wild into the compound and then gets them drunk enough to ensure the entire house is trashed beyond recognition and this year’s crop of contestants are then forced to clean up $40,000 worth of damage by eviction night, or live in the squalor for the rest of the season.
Oh, and a shout out to Sonia Kruger – thanks for bigging up our opening night live blog on breakfast radio yesterday! Defamer Australia’s Editor’s mother is a Mix 106.5FM devotee and texted us saying “Sonia Kruger gave your blog defamer a plug this morning re big brother! She said it was so funny what HE wrote?”
Tina Sparkle, you have confused our mother. She now wonders whether she secretly birthed a boy child 27 years ago, and the charity haircut was a subtle way of breaking the news to her. For future reference, Defamer Australia is written by ladies, for ladies. Well, not really. But we’ve definitely got breasts.
PS: We secretly hope Tina Sparkle found the blog entry because it was sandwiched nicely between two Todd McKenney “pieces” and she’d been Googling his long weekend adventures to pass the time.
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Molly Meldrum Moment: Do Yourself A Favour!
1:23PM Jess McGuire | Alright, it’s been a while since Defamer Australia gave you a “hot music tip”, but we’ve just gotten our paws on a great new album that’s recently been released in the States, and we figured Australian punters with a love of decent tunes (and a strange desire to trawl pop culture obsessed websites in their spare time) deserve to know about the following artist.
Meet Eli “Paperboy” Reed & The True Loves.
He’s a young dude from Boston, and his new album ‘Roll With You’ is one of the best things we’ve heard in an age. Think old bluesy soul with the Ronson touch (although as far as we know, Lindsay Lohan’s brother-in-law has nothing to do with the record). It’s not often we fall for something within thirty seconds of hearing it, but we did with ‘Roll With You’ and can’t recommend it enough.
You can hear some tunes from the album by clicking on the MySpazz link above, but the best two songs on the record – ‘Stake Your Claim’ and ‘Am I Wasting My Time’ – aren’t included on there, alas.
Still. If you’re daft enough to be awake early tomorrow between 6am and 10am, Your Editor will be molesting Triple J and may just bang on one of the tracks in a concerted effort to wake up.
You’ve been told. Although we are hardly tastemakers here at Defamer Australia, we fell for Amy Winehouse’s ‘Back To Black’ in a similar way back in late 2006 – try to remember how amazing that release was before every radio station flogged ‘Rehab’ to death and Amy Winehouse was on the cover of every goddamn magazine, drunkenly stumbling about like an inebriated twig with a mascara obsession – and we’re fairly confident that if radio actually plays the fucking record instead of faffing about with songs about spray on pants, the folks at home will eat it up with a spoon. More » 
If You Work With Robert Downey Jr., Prepare To Duck And Rewrite
11:10AM Seth | Forgive us for being a couple days behind on Robert Downey Jr.’s Late Show appearance, but we were so excited that someone has finally found way to stop making bad movies, we simply had to share it with you: Simply start every shooting day by balling up the piece-of-shit script handed to you by your director, whipping it at the wall, and having them start from scratch. [Late Show] Mariah Carey, 39, has married Drumline star Nick Cannon, 27, at her home in the Bahamas. Yes, she’s that chick. [Page Six] Phew! Reichen takes back all of the “shady sack of beyond gross lying shit” talk and Bitter Dating Tips for Hollywood from his MySpace page. He was just having a bad day! :P [Pink Is The New Blog] Here’s a free copy of the new Coldplay single. We’re getting a slutty Gwyneth vibe from it. [coldplay.com] Wonkette remembers D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Paltry, found dead today, by purchasing her a seat to the stars. [Wonkette] More »
Nothing Eases The Stress Of Having A Rebellious Starlet Daughter Like A Good Penis Piercing
10:20AM Molly Friedman | Not a day goes by without a dozen blind items stirring up rumours about the newest Hollywood heroin addict or closeted anchor with sex swings in his office, but there is one very rare kind of bold face name-less rumour that catches our eye. And it has to do with “celebrity dads,” “piercings,” and “nether regions.” As the NY Post Just Asks this morning: Which celebrity dad is just as rebellious as his starlet daughter? The troubled parent wears a ring through a piercing on his nether regions. After the jump, we present our top five suspects, their odds, and invite you to place your bets. More »
Madonna And Justin Timberlake Dirty Dance, We Do Not Have The Time Of Our Lives
10:19AM Molly Friedman | So the last time Justin Timberlake participated in a memorable live performance with an iconic female singer/dancer phenom resulted in that legendary “wardrobe malfunction” suffered by one Miss Janet Jackson. Sure, it was staged and Timberlake’s “oops!” facial expression prophetically foreshadowed his subpar acting skills to come, but at least in our opinion, the whole thing was kind of hot. Sadly, last night he obediently agreed to perform on stage with his new vitamin injectress Madonna, and despite Madge’s impressive torso maneuvers and immobile hairdo, her attempts to grind and dirty dance the life out of Timberlake in this clip just made us uncomfortable. More »
YouTube Clip Of The Day
10:03AM Jess McGuire | Americans are weird.
But we’ll be teaching our dog to dance like that if it kills us. More » 
Casting Last Night’s Finale Of The Biggest Loser
10:01AM Jess McGuire | Since there’s nothing Your Editor likes better than seeing fatties lacking in self-confidence locating their inner spunk over a ravenous three month period, you can understand why we chose to shun all the hip parties in town last night and instead stay home to watch the mother of all weigh ins, The Biggest Loser finale.
Even though last night featured a disappointing lack of Jillian genius (the few minutes of footage we saw from the Black team’s time in LA really hammered home how “strong and constant”, hymn style, our love for the mad bitch is…), we nevertheless delighted in seeing the weight loss of all the contestants we’ve known and loved – except JJ, who appears to have actually kept running ever since he escaped the white house, which at the very least should be keeping him trim – and even the contestants we didn’t actually know and love (helloooooooo, dude who won $10,000 losing a billion kilos at home! You fox!)
Well done to Sam for winning, etc etc etc etc.
SO ANYWAY.
Here’s the only thing we really wanted to say.
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