Thursday, May 1, 2008
Australia’s Next Top Model 4 Round-Up: Seductive, Sexy And Hydrated
3:36PM Clem Bastow | Perhaps a case of ‘difficult second episode’ for this week’s installment of Australia’s Next Top Model Cycle 4. Traditionally “makeover week” provides some quality tears and tantrums (who could forget Cycle 2’s Louise crying about her “fire-engine red”), but they’re a bit of a boring bunch this year. Only Alex came up with the goods, psychotically rocking back and forth and telling every man and his dog that her “Cleopatra” look was “a step backwards when it should be a step forwards.” She shut up when Jonathon told her “I’ll give you something to cry about later…” More » 
Nz’s Flight Of The Conchords Go From Strength To Strength; Countdown To Local Media Claiming Them As ‘Ours’ Starts… Now
2:15PM Clem Bastow | New Zealand’s ex-struggling musical comics Flight Of The Conchords keep kicking goals since breaking the US market; first they were picked up by HBO, signed to SubPop, then they won a Grammy for Best Comedy Release, and now they’re even charting in the states.
Naturally this means our local press, tired of Australians’ not succeeding overseas (see: Oscars “disappointment” etc), will soon do a number on Flight Of The Conchords and claim them in much the same way we did Russell Crowe, Crowded House and Whale Rider.
The self-titled album from Flight of the Conchords, who have their own show on cable channel HBO, sold 52,000 copies in the week ended April 27, according to tracking firm Nielsen SoundScan.
In the process, they outsold pop idol Ashlee Simpson, whose new album opened at No.4 with 47,000 copies. Bittersweet World marks her first release that did not go to No.1.
Top work, eh bros! Stick that in yer chilly bin and, er, smoke it.
Although beating Ashlee Simpson to chart supremacy doesn’t really wash with the whole ’struggling musos’ aesthetic of their show, who cares? Coldplay have been singing songs about failing and being unlucky in love for years now! More » 
Victory For Melbourne’s Stripping Cabbies! You Can’t Stop The Sexy!
10:42AM Clem Bastow | We thought those of you who were entertained by the slow and sensual strip show protest staged by Melbourne’s taxi drivers yesterday would like to know that their bare-chested protestations didn’t go unnoticed, and all but two of their demands will be met by the State Government.
Maybe the teachers’ unions should start looking into massed nudity?
Pre-payment of fares between 10pm and 5am — a key demand from drivers to deal with the frequent problem of passengers who “do a runner” without paying — will be introduced in the next few months.
Drivers will estimate the amount of the fare before the journey and then the difference, if there is one, will be paid by either the driver or passenger.
The State Government will pay 50% of the cost of introducing safety screens, with the balance to be paid by taxi operators.
The screens, worth $1000 to $1200, will be removable, allowing drivers who do not want them to store them in the boot. At first the installation will cover about 75% of Melbourne’s 3800-strong taxi fleet.
This is great news for the cabbies, though we’re slightly disappointed that Jazz Randyman didn’t turn up again as a mouthpiece for the protest.
Now, if they could just work on the taxi drivers who, upon one’s entering the cab and requesting one’s destination, turn around looking slightly frightened and as, “Do you know how to get there?” we’ll all be laughing. More » 
Female Afl Boardmembers Request Gender Relations Counselling For Sam Newman; Have They Got A Spare Decade?
10:13AM Clem Bastow | We told you yesterday about Sam Newman’s latest “hilarious” stunt on The Footy Show.
Well, in news that will likely surprise no one but Sam “It Was Funny” Newman himself, the AFL’s most senior female figures have contacted Channel Nine requesting that, at the very least, Newman receive counselling about appropriate behaviour towards women.
Signatory Dr Susan Alberti, a prominent businesswoman and Western Bulldogs board member, said his behaviour was out of line.
“It’s just smutty and crass. He needs to be brought into line to respect women for the positions they hold in the community.”
“You have to earn respect and he’s not doing that. Women will get sick of it and turn off,” she said.
“Women are being degraded on television and enough is enough.”
Other signatories included AFL club board members Sally Capp (Collingwood), Beverly Knight (Essendon) and Peggy Haines (Richmond). Wilson described the stunt as degrading, humiliating and insulting.
Can you see what is wrong with this picture? Year after year, we keep being told about efforts to “educate” young footy players – and in this case, not so young footy players – about how best to treat women. You know, like, has she had a few drinks? Probably best not to rape her, then, son! Is she wearing a short skirt? It doesn’t mean you can put your hand up it, toodle pip!
What sort of monster has the AFL created where such basic human decency no-brainers even need to be put on the curriculum?
We’re inclined to think a better idea in this instance, at least, is to put Sam Newman in a cell and let Bev Knight play bad cop/bad cop with him and a rolling pin. More » 
Bisexual Girl And Lesbian Kiss; World Stops Spinning Due To Shock
10:06AM Clem Bastow | We’re not quite sure what’s been worse in the continuing saga of Ruby Rose’s sexuality – MTV’s attempt to spin it into a publicity stunt, or the tabloid press’ continued and breathless coverage of every move Rose’s lips make.
Today, we’re feeling the latter: Rose and one-time party pash conquest Jess Origliasso macked on again, and the Tele is all over it like a rash.
The rock ‘n’ roll revelry between Origliasso and Rose was hot and heavy at the M.A.C gold fever after-party held at De Nom on Monday night, with several partygoers witnessing the girls indulging in a disco smooch in a dark corner of the room.
“They were kissing openly, but when they realised they had been busted they just put on even more of a show,” one spectator said.
“It was totally on between them.”
From a party pash to a frock lip-lock, the girls put in a repeat performance of their lipstick lesbian show on Tuesday night when they arrived at Alex Perry’s fashion week show hand in hand.
Hoping to avoid intense media scrutiny from the press pack by sitting at the opposite end of the 50m runway, Rose and Origliasso canoodled and whispered intimately throughout the parade – holding hands as they did so.
There’s a phrase for this style of “journalism” and its technical name is “fap fap fap”.
Seriously, we wouldn’t care so much if they’d run a piece on Anthony Callea and Tim Campbell having a grope at a party as well from time to time, but we know that day will never come, because in the eyes of thick-necked Tele readers, girls kissing is “hot”, and guys kissing is “wrong”. More » 
Rumored Tape Shows Angelina Jolie Snorting Heroin: ‘Wow, This Is Really Good Smack’
10:00AM Molly Friedman | Angelina Jolie has come a long way from her blood vial-carrying, lesbian sex-dabbling days as Hollywood’s resident bad girl, but the potential release of a tape showing Jolie snorting and smoking heroin may do some serious damage to the soon-to-be mother of six’s new reputation as a much hotter version of Mother Teresa. While Jolie has openly admitted to using all kinds of drugs in her past, her alleged comments and behaviour shown on the tape in question may overshadow all those Yes I’ve Done Drugs But Drugs Are Bad comments she’s made since: The key part of the tape is Angelina doing heroin. She says, “Wow, this is really good smack – not that cheap crap that’s been stepped on.” More details on when the tape was reportedly filmed and the potential sale after the jump. More »
Jennifer Aniston And John Mayer: See It, Believe It, Decide Whether You Care From There
9:50AM Molly Friedman | It’s usually fun when rumoured flings between two unlikely stars are proven true, unless one of those stars happens to be serial dater Jennifer Aniston. Last week we reluctantly reported on stories linking Aniston to orgasmic crooner John Mayer, and as In Touch tells us today, the pair spent a long weekend together in Miami, where Jen’s filming Marley & Me. Just another doozy of an I’ll Believe It When I See It tale? Well, believe it, and see it, after the jump. More »
Does Landing The Cover Of People’s ‘Most Beautiful’ Issue Come With A Curse?
9:40AM Molly Friedman | Today, People has revealed that Kate Hudson will appear as the cover girl for their 2008 Most Beautiful People issue, and we’d certainly like to send out a hearty congrats to the recently divorced single mum who’s currently nursing Owen Wilson back to health. But after taking a look back at the list of stars who’ve previously nabbed the annual issue’s cover spot, we fear there may be a curse accompanying the glossy honour. Sure, Leonardo DiCaprio (1998) and Julia Roberts (2000, 2005) haven’t slipped up since having their smiley visage top the list, but a sizeable chunk of the winning alumni eerily saw their public and private lives undergo a downward spiral following their appearance on the issue’s cover. We took a closer look at the possible curse-laden honour after the jump: More »
Kirsten Dunst’s Dating Tips: Take Your Honey Along To AA While ‘Looking Like Crap’
9:30AM Molly Friedman | While most of our knowledge regarding AA and the 12-step program comes from the druggie movies we’ve seen over the years (Rush, Requiem For A Dream, Herbie: Fully Loaded), we’re pretty sure one of those steps is to avoid jumping into new relationships minutes after leaving rehab. But as we learned earlier this month, Kirsten Dunst’s rumoured fling with Ryan Gosling suggests Dunst isn’t a fan of following rules. And according to today’s NY Post, Dunst has some very unique and romantic ideas when it comes to taking her new man out on the town: Sources say Dunst…has been schlepping her All Good Things co-star, Ryan Gosling, to 12-step meetings. Swoon! Even more intriguing are Dunst’s rumoured grooming techniques when it comes to keeping her new guy interested, detailed after the jump. More »
