Perhaps a case of 'difficult second episode' for this week's installment of Australia's Next Top Model Cycle 4. Traditionally "makeover week" provides some quality tears and tantrums (who could forget Cycle 2's Louise crying about her "fire-engine red"), but they're a bit of a boring bunch this year. Only Alex came up with the goods, psychotically rocking back and forth and telling every man and his dog that her "Cleopatra" look was "a step backwards when it should be a step forwards." She shut up when Jonathon told her "I'll give you something to cry about later..."

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Naturally this means our local press, tired of Australians' not succeeding overseas (see: Oscars "disappointment" etc), will soon do a number on Flight Of The Conchords and claim them in much the same way we did Russell Crowe, Crowded House and Whale Rider.

The self-titled album from Flight of the Conchords, who have their own show on cable channel HBO, sold 52,000 copies in the week ended April 27, according to tracking firm Nielsen SoundScan.

In the process, they outsold pop idol Ashlee Simpson, whose new album opened at No.4 with 47,000 copies. Bittersweet World marks her first release that did not go to No.1.

Although beating Ashlee Simpson to chart supremacy doesn't really wash with the whole 'struggling musos' aesthetic of their show, who cares? Coldplay have been singing songs about failing and being unlucky in love for years now!

We thought those of you who were entertained by the slow and sensual strip show protest staged by Melbourne's taxi drivers yesterday would like to know that their bare-chested protestations didn't go unnoticed, and all but two of their demands will be met by the State Government.

Maybe the teachers' unions should start looking into massed nudity?

Pre-payment of fares between 10pm and 5am -- a key demand from drivers to deal with the frequent problem of passengers who "do a runner" without paying -- will be introduced in the next few months.

Drivers will estimate the amount of the fare before the journey and then the difference, if there is one, will be paid by either the driver or passenger.

The State Government will pay 50% of the cost of introducing safety screens, with the balance to be paid by taxi operators.

The screens, worth $1000 to $1200, will be removable, allowing drivers who do not want them to store them in the boot. At first the installation will cover about 75% of Melbourne's 3800-strong taxi fleet.

Now, if they could just work on the taxi drivers who, upon one's entering the cab and requesting one's destination, turn around looking slightly frightened and as, "Do you know how to get there?" we'll all be laughing.

We told you yesterday about Sam Newman's latest "hilarious" stunt on The Footy Show.

Well, in news that will likely surprise no one but Sam "It Was Funny" Newman himself, the AFL's most senior female figures have contacted Channel Nine requesting that, at the very least, Newman receive counselling about appropriate behaviour towards women.

Signatory Dr Susan Alberti, a prominent businesswoman and Western Bulldogs board member, said his behaviour was out of line.

"It's just smutty and crass. He needs to be brought into line to respect women for the positions they hold in the community."

"You have to earn respect and he's not doing that. Women will get sick of it and turn off," she said.

"Women are being degraded on television and enough is enough."

Other signatories included AFL club board members Sally Capp (Collingwood), Beverly Knight (Essendon) and Peggy Haines (Richmond). Wilson described the stunt as degrading, humiliating and insulting.

What sort of monster has the AFL created where such basic human decency no-brainers even need to be put on the curriculum?

We're inclined to think a better idea in this instance, at least, is to put Sam Newman in a cell and let Bev Knight play bad cop/bad cop with him and a rolling pin.

We're not quite sure what's been worse in the continuing saga of Ruby Rose's sexuality - MTV's attempt to spin it into a publicity stunt, or the tabloid press' continued and breathless coverage of every move Rose's lips make.

Today, we're feeling the latter: Rose and one-time party pash conquest Jess Origliasso macked on again, and the Tele is all over it like a rash.

The rock 'n' roll revelry between Origliasso and Rose was hot and heavy at the M.A.C gold fever after-party held at De Nom on Monday night, with several partygoers witnessing the girls indulging in a disco smooch in a dark corner of the room.

"They were kissing openly, but when they realised they had been busted they just put on even more of a show," one spectator said.

"It was totally on between them."

From a party pash to a frock lip-lock, the girls put in a repeat performance of their lipstick lesbian show on Tuesday night when they arrived at Alex Perry's fashion week show hand in hand.

Hoping to avoid intense media scrutiny from the press pack by sitting at the opposite end of the 50m runway, Rose and Origliasso canoodled and whispered intimately throughout the parade - holding hands as they did so.

Seriously, we wouldn't care so much if they'd run a piece on Anthony Callea and Tim Campbell having a grope at a party as well from time to time, but we know that day will never come, because in the eyes of thick-necked Tele readers, girls kissing is "hot", and guys kissing is "wrong".

Angelina Jolie has come a long way from her blood vial-carrying, lesbian sex-dabbling days as Hollywood's resident bad girl, but the potential release of a tape showing Jolie snorting and smoking heroin may do some serious damage to the soon-to-be mother of six's new reputation as a much hotter version of Mother Teresa. While Jolie has openly admitted to using all kinds of drugs in her past, her alleged comments and behaviour shown on the tape in question may overshadow all those Yes I've Done Drugs But Drugs Are Bad comments she's made since:

The key part of the tape is Angelina doing heroin. She says, "Wow, this is really good smack - not that cheap crap that's been stepped on."

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It's usually fun when rumoured flings between two unlikely stars are proven true, unless one of those stars happens to be serial dater Jennifer Aniston. Last week we reluctantly reported on stories linking Aniston to orgasmic crooner John Mayer, and as In Touch tells us today, the pair spent a long weekend together in Miami, where Jen's filming Marley & Me. Just another doozy of an I'll Believe It When I See It tale? Well, believe it, and see it, after the jump.

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Today, People has revealed that Kate Hudson will appear as the cover girl for their 2008 Most Beautiful People issue, and we'd certainly like to send out a hearty congrats to the recently divorced single mum who's currently nursing Owen Wilson back to health. But after taking a look back at the list of stars who've previously nabbed the annual issue's cover spot, we fear there may be a curse accompanying the glossy honour. Sure, Leonardo DiCaprio (1998) and Julia Roberts (2000, 2005) haven't slipped up since having their smiley visage top the list, but a sizeable chunk of the winning alumni eerily saw their public and private lives undergo a downward spiral following their appearance on the issue's cover. We took a closer look at the possible curse-laden honour after the jump:

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While most of our knowledge regarding AA and the 12-step program comes from the druggie movies we've seen over the years (Rush, Requiem For A Dream, Herbie: Fully Loaded), we're pretty sure one of those steps is to avoid jumping into new relationships minutes after leaving rehab. But as we learned earlier this month, Kirsten Dunst's rumoured fling with Ryan Gosling suggests Dunst isn't a fan of following rules. And according to today's NY Post, Dunst has some very unique and romantic ideas when it comes to taking her new man out on the town:

Sources say Dunst...has been schlepping her All Good Things co-star, Ryan Gosling, to 12-step meetings.

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The latest oppressive trends in viral marketing received a sceptical close-up this week in The Hollywood Reporter, but for sheer word-of-mouth fanboy horror, look no further than Tuesday's video chronicle of the Dark Knight "scavenger hunt"/wild geek goose chase through Hollywood. MTV sent an intern to do its dirty work, which included — we shit you not — "a FedEx from the Joker himself," counting the number of fountains in the courtyard at the Hollywood & Highland Mall, and a half-dozen more eggheaded stunts that dead ended with Warner Bros. giving the hundreds of spectators three minutes to stampede to the multiplex — just to get a three-day jump on watching a trailer.

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Reichen Lehmkuhl, the square-jawed former U.S. Air Force recruit who found a measure of fame winning Amazing Race and later as Lance Bass's boyfriend, may at first glance seem to have it all: the calendars, the flight-themed, gay-man's jewelry collections, the underwear- model- search- winning boyfriend...Oops, not so fast, as a recent update to his MySpace page (the first place fans go to be informed of any major changes in his seemingly doomed personal life) suggests that yet again, all is not what it appears in a perfect universe filled with depilated abs and seam-compromised Speedo baskets. From PinkIsTheNewBlog.com:

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What would the world's oldest profession do without Charlie Sheen? Hollywood's most famed lover of pay-for-play has been outed by his current madam in the newest issue of Rolling Stone, who claims that his prostitution habit is still going stronger than ever — even after court-ordered rehab. As "Nici" tells celebrity exposé specialist Vanessa Grigoriadis in the story, she "dropped four girls off at his penthouse, [and] found the actor in silk pajamas with 'C. MaSheen' embroidered over the pocket. Sheen gave her a $20,000 check for the girls, and she picked them up several hours later." And while the fact that Sheen is (allegedly) still romping around with escorts after all these years is pretty pathetic, even more so is his publicist's excuse:

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Apparently all of Katie Holmes' recent naughty behaviour has prompted loving husband Tom Cruise to reprimand her with a punishment that's slightly more severe than asking her to not only wash the dishes but dry them, too. After eating too little with bad influence Victoria Beckham and daring to consider a promising role on Broadway later this year, Cruise decided to step up her Scientology training with a fun-filled three-day vacation to Gold Base. And Canyon Ranch it is not. Gold Base is reportedly an isolated Scientology facility where "boot camps" are held. And as Star reports, yoga classes and colonics were not part of Katie's activities:

"It included various tests, confession sessions, tons of reading and physically challenging purification processes"...a series of intensive auditing sessions, some which have lasted for 36 hours straight — with little sleep or food."

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It took her long enough, but the eldest spawn of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore is finally putting her pedigree to good use. Rumer Willis reminded the world of her burgeoning acting career at last week's premiere of From Within, the horror flick she's starring in, and was spotted posing for her first ad campaign for Wal-Mart's newest surfer fashion brand OP (formerly Ocean Pacific). And while the extensions she wore for the premiere coupled with the bikini body she displayed alongside Pete Wentz for the photo shoot do admittedly evoke memories of a younger version of her iconic mum, are Rumer's recent career choices really going to jumpstart a Demi-like fame trajectory? Or will she soon be on MTV's third season of Rock The Cradle?

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Time Magazine's 100 most influential people of 2008 have been chosen, and as if on cue, Miley Cyrus gets the wide-eyes-and-wonder treatment from none other than Donny Osmond. But this isn't just another convenient thematic tie-in of wholesome media figures — no! Written before the whole Vanity Fair photo flap, Osmond's blurb is easily the most uncannily prescient piece of writing since Paddy Chayefsky sat down to pen Network:

Within three to five years, Miley will have to face adulthood. Fans grow up, and their youthful interests quickly dissolve. Her challenge will be overcoming the Hannah Montana stereotype. Miley's fans are not thinking about the fact that she will grow up too. As she does, she'll want to change her image, and that change will be met with adversity. It's next to impossible to fight, embrace, use or love your image. Trust me. I've seen this all play out before; it's the same ball game, just different players in a different time.

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Defamer has learned that the Weinstein Company operative who months ago positioned Vicky Cristina Barcelona's three-way Scarlett Johansson/Penélope Cruz/Javier Bardem sex scene as "an extremely erotic" screen tryst that will "leave the audience gasping" was not likely the same representative who hooked director Woody Allen up this week with Entertainment Weekly. In a blurb featured in EW's new summer movie preview, the filmmaker dashed a million hormonal panics by tiredly setting the record straight:

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Say you have a sincere interest in catching the latest The Dark Knight trailer—but not one so burning that it would require you to dash around Hollywood Blvd. counting the number of holes in aggro Chinese Theatre Batman's costume, only to then learn via text message that the massive fire at Basque nightclub was in fact "The Joker's doing," before eventually corralling you and 500 other movie blog interns right back to where you started, so that you can file into a Mann's theatre for the two-and-a-half-minute, viral experience of a lifetime.

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· We continue with today's theme of leaked, bootlegged trailers of the summer's most anticipated blockbusters with the new Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, set to premiere before screenings of Iron Man this Friday. Dare we say, it's a vast improvement over the first. Indy's back, everyone! No, seriously. Indy's back—it just gave out on him. Medic! [indianajones.com]
· Is "closet chef" Jake Gyllenhaal planning on opening his own restaurant before he turns 30? Sign us up for one Dreamy-Eyed Tasting Menu with Naggy Girlfriend Wine Flight! [Big Hospitality]
· Good news: Roger Waters's pig has been found! Bad news: In pieces. Good news: Bacon for everyone! Bad news: It tastes like polyurethane. [MyDesert.com]
· Is Transformers 2 about to get a much-needed injection of menstrual-blood humour? One can only hope. [Cinematical]
· Hey—dogs into unicorns! [Archie McPhee]

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ThinkFilm today announced its acquisition of theatrical and DVD rights to the documentary Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired, which made as many headlines recently for its acclaimed Sundance run as for being dumped in New York and Pasadena for a week by its Oscar-craving original buyers at HBO. The cable network retains the broadcast rights, planning a June 9 premiere ahead of ThinkFilm's July 11 theatrical release. We know what you're thinking — a TV premiere before theatrical? But it's not that unusual, and it can only help in the awards push sure to come.

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Extreme endurance artist David Blaine has certainly stunned the world before with his well-publicised stunts—from spending three weeks journeying through an (unfortunately impacted) Blue Whale's digestive system, to the time he was flash-frozen inside a block of carbonite atop the Arc de Triomphe. But it was the seemingly simplest of tasks that eluded him: breaking the world record for breath-holding, previously held by a centenarian fisherman from Tanzania rumoured by villagers to have been sired by a frog. All that changed today on The Oprah Winfrey Show of all places, where the low-talking illusionist was deprived of oxygen for an amazing 17 minutes and 4 seconds. We've included video of the final two, during which an increasingly agitated Oprah grips the thigh of the monitoring physician beside her, asking reasonable enough questions along the lines of, "OK, his eyes just crossed, his skin turn blue, and he slowly floated to the surface. Is that considered a bad sign?"

• Oprah.com

American Idol judge Paula Abdul—on whom we rely to pull browbeaten contestants into her addled embrace, showering them with slurred words of encouragement—made a gaffe for the ages on last night's all-Neil Diamond-cover show. In her defence, producers made a radical change to the show's familiar format, holding all the judging until after the final five had performed two songs. This introduced a complicated new element to the karaoke-appraising procedure: taking notes. But no sooner had Paula accepted her fate, and begun to get the hang of scribbling things like "David C.: Shining star, authentic, love the pants," on an index card, sniveling Idol homeroom Poindexter Ryan Seacrest changed the rules once again, demanding to know where Randy, Paula, and Simon stood on the performances at the half-way mark.

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Frankly, we don't know what might have come between Oprah Winfrey and Rachael Ray, the easy-meal guru and multimedia mogul whose career she helped to launch. But there it is, plain as day, on the cover of the new issue of trusted celebrity news source National Enquirer: "YOU MAKE ME SICK!" Four little words that will change...everything.

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· This just in! A tensely worded rehashing of Variety's SAG strike doomsaying piece from Monday! Twelve days into things, progress looks "negligible." Need we remind the Powers That Be of that full-page trade ad taken out by George, Tom, Meryl and Bob back in February? For the love of God, Alan Rosenberg! Just. Talk. [Variety]
· The Young & the Restless and Sesame Street lead the Daytime Emmy nominations, though the two long-running series will only face off in one category: Outstanding Performance By An Actor or Math-Obsessed Vampire. [THR]

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Basque is burning! Not the region bordering Spain and France—far worse! The nightclub at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. From the ABC7 report:

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With the promise of Jeff Zucker's Old-Time Radio City Upfront Dog-and-Pony Show vanquished months ago by NBC's decision to unveil its 2007-08 schedule a full month ahead of the usual schedule, the news that other networks are downsizing their own upfronts isn't shocking anyone. The WGA strike that thwarted the networks' normal development schedule left most without any pilots to pitch to advertisers in the annual industry orgies, and even Les Moonves doesn't know what he's programming at CBS this fall. Sorry, L.A. staffers! Unpack your bags — you're staying put this year.

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