Violent Outbreaks Occur Between Warring Factions Of Brangelina's Brood
We are shocked (shocked!) to hear this, but word on the street is that the lovely and ever-growing multicultural soccer team united by Brad and Angelina isn't exactly getting along of late. According to Star, animosity and friction is growing among the four little Jolie-Pitts, with personalities growing bolder and fights getting messier. And, unsurprisingly, The Chosen One is allegedly on the brunt of most blows. Most disturbing of all? As a source claims, those cushy lips of hers are only getting bigger as a result of actual physical blows from her siblings:
"[Zahara] once clawed Shiloh's cheek after she tried to take her cookie...Angie gets worried when Shi plays with them...she always comes back with a scraped knee or a fat lip!"
The not-so-pretty picture painted by the source includes two distinct rivalries: one between Pax and Maddox, who favour pushing each other down, and the other between Zahara and Shiloh, often reaching its height over food. But it's not just the fact that the kids aren't getting along that has our image of the Perfect Family tainted; it's the similarities between this newly unveiled Jolie-Pitt household and that of the Spears kids that freaks us out the most. As another source puts it, "They eat fast food, pizza, chips and sugary soft drinks...Brad and Angie let them eat what they want because it brings harmony to the chaotic household." As long as there are no Cheetos or demands for "Mommy's lollipops" involved yet, we'll remain calm, but should Angelina show up wearing a tummy-baring tank top or accidentally drop a kid or two in the next few months, we're calling Child Services.
[Photo Credit: Babble]
6:45 AM on Fri Apr 4 2008
by Molly Friedman
View: AU Comments (0) | US Comments (36 comments)
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Um, isn't that a sign that the parents aren't a) giving them enough attention, b) aren't disciplining them, at least not with consistency and c) therefore aren't really doing their job properly? In the real world, Social Services would be pricking their ears up, but it seems you can get away with it if you're a minted celeb and not some chav breeder from a rough housing estate.
My prediction: a gaggle of very spoiled, f-ed up kids and a very messy split, be it marital or common-law.
sundaeg1rl
Er, here's the link I meant to post: Cheetos
Kona
The Cheetos thing? It's already going down.
Kona
Sibling Darwinism...survival of the fittest...to this day every time I walk by my brother he still flinches and cowers in fear...
kindofabetty
My mother has 3 brothers and two sisters and some of the stories she tells me would make these kids (if this even actually happened) look tame. Her sister once threw a fork at her brother's head at the dinner table and it got stuck there. That same sister once chased my mom around with a knife. It's normal. Cripes.
lonely_goatherd
Team Zahara!
She's the bad-ass of the group...remember that pic of her flipping the bird to the paps last year?
oolishfay
@jupiterspaw:
*Applause*
wackiland
Benetton rumble!
Dusty in the Wind
@jupiterspaw: Beets, Bears, Battlestar Galactica
BigBoobsMagee
My brother broke my toe when I was 9. He needs to be covered by Defamer.
BrookeD
I liked this movie better when it was call The Josephine Baker Story.
BlindKarma
@ObtuseIntolerant: *heels
ObtuseIntolerant
@Koreanish: HA! Yes.
I used to punch my older sister right in the boob when she wronged me. And being the littlest, I also learned to pound on them with my sharp little heals to get my way.
There were definitely some bodily injuries done in the early days...though, we girls soon learned to do things that were less physical and more devious and completely evil.
Siblings are a wonderful thing.
ObtuseIntolerant
If someone took a photograph of my kids everytime they were eating crap, I'd be in trouble too. Also, kids beat each other up. What a newsflash.
petunia942
Welcome to my world**yawn**
FairhairedOptimist
Bah, that's nothing. My mother comes from a family of 9 siblings, and she has stories about hair-pulling, arm-twisting, biting, and kicking that would make this story unworthy of any notice. They are all adults now and they get along just fine...no world wars or life-long traumas were caused by these normal sibling rivalries.
The eating though...yeah, they could do better. It's not like they don't have enough money to shop organic and hire a decent cook. At least that is what lazy me would do!
iAlreadyHateYou
There will never be peace in the Middle East as long as there is unrest at the Jolie-Pitt compound.
BAngieB
Alert the presses, two toddlers faught over a cookie??? There are 4 kids in a family, and they are fighting AND eating SNACKS??? Oh, the humanity!
Kaehoku
Don't ever mess with Zahara's cookie!! Zahara is known to ttll lies for her cookies.
Ever notice in pictures, both Shiloh and Zee are always snacking and tend to be holding the biggest bags.
FATAL_BIPOLAR_HOTNESS
The Star needs to watch an episode or two of Jon & Kate plus 8.
SikeChick19
seriously some of you people on here need to chill out and get a life
SanDiego15
this story is coming from Star Magazine so enough said, don't believe anything that come from that rag
SanDiego15
@Old No.7:
Liz Smith told him to stay away from ol' Blockhead Jolie.
gunshy007
HA!! I knew it!! Only a matter of time before that punk Madoxx snuffs them all... Then Jenn can finally be at peace and avenged.
Decebal
I knocked my little brother's tooth out when I was 8. Where's my Star cover story?
heidiho
please, the jolie pitt girls will NEVER be the spears. mama jolie ain't afraid of no schmashmorshion.
Harriet Miers, State Bar of Texas
I say slap the shit out of all of them, and quit giving in to junk food demands.
SanFranBetsu
Typical big family.
browneyesblue
It's only going to get worse when it turns out that 2 of the 4 kids are actually Cylons.
jupiterspaw
Ahhhh. Racial tension. I wondered when the ethnic cleansing would begin. Well pretty soon it'll be three whites against the rest.
CourageousCoward
If you cannot fight to the near-death over cookies, the "better" swing, or Scooby-Doo, what is the point of having a childhood?
TheStarterWife
This is normal behavior. The U.N. had these same growing pains early on.
OldTowneTavern
I used to sit on my brother's chest and slap him with his own hand. Whatever!
Koreanish
Siblings fighting! Call CPS! F Off Star, I'm sure Britney's doing something crazy right now, go look!
secretagentman
I am worried that this will result in world war.
videogoddess
Run, Brad.
Run like the fucking wind.
Old No.7