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Three Things You Know You Want To Know About 'SATC: The Movie' (Even Though You'd Never Admit It)
Posted by Molly Friedman at 6:25 AM on April 15, 2008
Despite all the photos we've seen from the Sex And The City movie set, and all the rumours circling around about plotlines and marriages and dream sequences, fans of the show are still in the dark regarding what lies in store for the four aging heroines. And expressing any interest whatsoever is somewhat embarrassing, since caring about the futures of Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte has become slightly de rigueur as each passing year post-finale makes SATC episodes look more and more ancient and silly. But for those of you who feel no shame in wondering what happens in the big-screen version of the girls' lives (at least in the privacy of your own cubicle or home), the NY Post has provided a few spoilers to satisfy your curiosity. More info after the jump; warning, it's spoiler heavy.
1) The Big/Carrie Engagement and Charlotte Pregnancy Rumours Are True: Whether or not the wedding scene featuring a psychotic peacock hair piece and Bride of Frankenstein dress is only part of a dream sequence, sources tell the Post that Carrie does in fact get engaged to Big. And despite adopting a trendy Asian baby, Charlotte does manage to get knocked up once and for all. Even more interesting in the realm of plotlines, Miranda and Steve's blissful Brooklyn marriage hits the skids over claims of infidelity. Which makes sense in a My Wife Likes Girls kind of way, we hope.
2) There Will Be Stunt Cameos Galore: New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg may have given up on that whole Presidency thing, but he hasn't thrown in the acting towel. The billionaire mayor is only one of several New York-y cameos, including some by co-star Jennifer Hudson's Oscar night ruiner Andre Leon Talley of Vogue, and the indecipherable fashion world darling, photographer Patrick Demarchelier. And though we're sure their on-screen presence is big and beautiful, we find it hard to believe that stiletto-wearing fans in the Bible Belt will know who the hell they are.
3) You Will Not Be Able To Afford A Single Thing You See: Longtime followers of the girls' diamond-decorated lives have always been frustrated by Carrie's ability to don designer gowns and afford spacious apartments on the Upper East Side on a freelance writer's salary, and the girls' lifestyles are even more mythical in the movie. We're talking YSL gowns, beach houses in LA, and the fact that "every day the girls wore real jewels estimated at $2.5 million." Who knew putting out a book of old newspaper columns could rack in the dough? Think we could finally buy up Barney's by scraping together a few blog posts on Scientology and bikini pictures? We're looking into it.
[Photo credit: Wireimage]
- IT'S BIG [NY Post]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Tiger_Tanaka
Posted 7:22 AM 15/4/08
If this were an HBO special, I'd watch. But leave my home for this and pay cash money? I doth believe there is a John Adams repeat, forsooth, fellow patriots.
Tiger_Tanaka
Hamud
Posted 7:21 AM 15/4/08
Odd.
I was told by a reliable source that the SATC spoiler on everyone's lips in L.A. was that Carrie develops some endocrine issues that cause her to grow a penis.
Not in the sense that Carrie's mixed-up hormones emotionally compel her to plant one in a garden like a tulip. Carrie's body unexpectedly grows a very large, uncircumcised, and in all ways fully-functional male member. (I guess there have been several documented cases of this in the medical literature.)
Viewers can expect an eye-popping display of SATC's trademark slapstick as Mr. Big struggles topsy-turvy to adapt to Carrie's new "hardware." But can Mr. Big adapt to Carrie's newfound swagger and self-assertion? We'll just have to wait and see...
Hamud
bess marvin, girl detective
Posted 7:10 AM 15/4/08
@MaxPatkin: ha!
bess marvin, girl detective
bess marvin, girl detective
Posted 7:08 AM 15/4/08
must you include the word "aging" when talking about the ladies, molly? just sayin that we get it. it's been 10 years since the show.
bess marvin, girl detective
BaconCat
Posted 7:05 AM 15/4/08
Miranda sleeps with a woman, Charlotte blows a tool, Carrie breaks free of her reigns and runs amok through central park and ASamantha gets a hip replacement. Oh, wait, these things actually happened.
BaconCat
Old No.7
Posted 6:52 AM 15/4/08
Wake me when Charlotte blows somebody on camera. Oh, wait....
Old No.7
CourageousCoward
Posted 6:47 AM 15/4/08
slightly LESS de rigeur...
CourageousCoward
MaxPatkin
Posted 6:44 AM 15/4/08
I just yawned so hard that I pulled an ear muscle.
MaxPatkin
lemurlady
Posted 6:42 AM 15/4/08
Maybe Miranda hooks up with a guy who ISN'T a freak of nature or a loser?
lemurlady
Benovite
Posted 6:41 AM 15/4/08
This movie is SO ruined for me... Dammit!
Benovite
ThaKadinskyPapers
Posted 6:41 AM 15/4/08
awesome, just saved me the Blockbuster rental fee.
ThaKadinskyPapers
missbehave
Posted 6:38 AM 15/4/08
If you wear stilettos in the bible belt, you most certainly know who they are because you will read Vogue religiously (no pun intended) as your only fashion outlet.
missbehave
emberglance
Posted 6:34 AM 15/4/08
de rigeur?
emberglance
Miss Anne Thrope
Posted 8:01 AM 15/4/08
@bess marvin, girl detective: She's just not Mark, I'm just sayin'. Plus, she must not own a dictionary. De rigeur, my ass. Look it up!
Miss Anne Thrope
StaringatScreen
Posted 7:46 AM 15/4/08
@Hamud: OMG, I totally heard this at the Dodger game yesterday, but had totally blocked it out until just now. Weird...
StaringatScreen
Mark Graham
Posted 8:25 AM 15/4/08
@Cam68: While it's okay to criticize spelling mistakes (that one got by me, too -- i thought the first u was optional), calling someone "stupid" is not okay. Enjoy your banishment!
Mark Graham
Cam68
Posted 8:04 AM 15/4/08
It is slightly hilarious that you try to be sarcastic and a) don't know what de rigueur means and b) can't even spell it. Kinda lowers the ol' credibility level, don'tcha think? 'Cause you're, like, stupid.
Cam68
emberglance
Posted 9:07 AM 15/4/08
de rigeuer?
emberglance
Molly Friedman
Posted 8:57 AM 15/4/08
@Miss Anne Thrope: Yes, I did mix up which side of the style fence "de rigeuer" falls on, just as I mix up which Bank was the cool one from time to time. My franglais needs brushing up. But! Not the point of the post! Feel free to apply for the job of Defamer Copy Editor at your leisure. No pay or fame, but you seem to take pleasure in the job's requirements.
Molly Friedman
gwendemarco
Posted 10:20 AM 15/4/08
gwendemarco
Miss Anne Thrope
Posted 10:08 AM 15/4/08
@Molly Friedman: I'd love to. Ask Mark about some of my corrections. Lisanti, that is.
Miss Anne Thrope
Hamud
Posted 10:31 AM 15/4/08
Anyone care to notice that I spelled "endocrine" correctly?
Denton? Denton? Are you there?
Where are the crumbs you would toss my way?
Or are you saving them to use as breading for other fish you have to fry?
Hamud
thatwoman
Posted 12:12 PM 15/4/08
Aging? The use of that word is a woman on woman crime.
thatwoman
HiredGoons
Posted 1:14 PM 15/4/08
I read the script, but I'm not telling.
HiredGoons
yvonnjanae
Posted 2:15 PM 15/4/08
The "de rigueur" is throwing me.
yvonnjanae
Hamud
Posted 8:30 PM 15/4/08
@HiredGoons:
For fuck's sake, who hasn't already read "the script"?
Every fruit who's as much as dated an entertainment lawyer on either coast has long had a copy of one "final draft" or another in the bathroom.
Da peeps to keep an eye on are da ones doing da final editing.
Hamud
ilovehermakeup
Posted 12:16 AM 16/4/08
I read the first giveaway about Charlotte and I must say, I am forced to read no further. Why would anyone want to ruin the surprise? What's wrong with you people?
ilovehermakeup
Kdoggy
Posted 3:53 AM 16/4/08
Ironically, the four least-fuckable actresses on the planet star in this piece of shit. I heard the best they could do for product placement was RIDD for pubic lice. They even had to find non-union vibrators to appear in the film because the union vibrators refused to take as demeaning a role as to be stuck up in any of those skanks! When you have vibrators boycotting a film you got problems.
Kdoggy