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Reviled Uwe Boll Makes His Case As "The Only Genius In The Whole Fucking Business"
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 4:00 AM on April 10, 2008
The breathtaking display of vindictive fanboy rage populist aesthetic taste that is the Stop Uwe Boll Petition has more than doubled its support since we last viewed it, edging the reviled German filmmaker within a mere 860,000 signatures of his million-hater promise to never direct again. While we're optimistic that democracy can take the day by, like, 2012, we're equally devastated by Boll's aggrieved video rebuke/promotional vehicle that appeared online Tuesday:
I want that there's a petition also out there — like a pro-Boll petition — and I expect a million votes pro-Boll. And I hope somebody will set it up and you all start signing it, because look: I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business, or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look at my movies you will see my real genius, you know?
And if you go on May 23 [to] Postal you will see that I deliver a movie that nobody else delivered in the last 10 years, what is way better as all that social-critic, George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend. You have to really wake up, and you have to see me what I am: I am the only genius in the whole fucking business. Goodbye.No! Stay! Ironically, this really is the best movie Uwe Boll has ever made; tender yet assertive, painstakingly modest, beautifully shot (in focus!) with accomplished acting and mostly realistic dialogue. No "genius" would diss Eli Roth to boost his own profile, of course, but it seems like a minor quibble in the face of such towering integrity. It's almost enough to make us neutral — almost. Alas, someone must pay for BloodRayne. Do your part for justice, already.
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Leviticus_71
Posted 5:00 AM 10/4/08
Speaking of Val Kilmer, this reminds me of the backwards scene from Top Secret. Really I was just waiting for him to say SCHEISSE! Man I love Germans.
Leviticus_71
nick_r
Posted 4:20 AM 10/4/08
Uwe Boll's command of English should be an embarrassment to any semi-intelligent German, most of whom can speak it far better than us.
nick_r
Calraigh
Posted 4:16 AM 10/4/08
If Uwe Boll can ball an 'oover, I'll stop commenting on Defamer.
I feel particularly weird today.
Calraigh
YourGoldKeith
Posted 4:14 AM 10/4/08
Why do I have the "real men of genius" jingle running through my head?
YourGoldKeith
Tiger_Tanaka
Posted 4:12 AM 10/4/08
Werner Herzog could kick his ass.
Tiger_Tanaka
StevieRayHalen
Posted 4:08 AM 10/4/08
wow,
now I have to research and develop a hatred for...YET ANOTHER GERMAN!!!!"
StevieRayHalen
CourageousCoward
Posted 4:07 AM 10/4/08
Real genius? Now there was a movie!
VK: If there's ever anything I can do for you, or more importantly, to you, let me know.
"Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
VK: Not at the moment.
"A girl's gotta have her standards."
CourageousCoward
Whitworthian
Posted 7:11 AM 10/4/08
I love this guy.
He's gleefully incompetent, making mad money, and stirring up geekdom with every comment, while he continues to make crappy movie after crappy movie, with no end in sight.
I know people who view his existence as unassailable proof against the possibility of a fair or benevolent universal order.
Whitworthian
Sleepyhead
Posted 7:02 AM 10/4/08
This long-term performance art gets better and better. The character is just so complexly ridiculous that it's amazing people still fall for it. But when is he going to drop the "crazy-talking German / angry bastard / world's worst film director" bit and reveal that he's Andy Kaufman? Or maybe Zach Galliafinakis?
Sleepyhead
independentthinkerdude
Posted 12:30 PM 10/4/08
@ nick_r
...far better than WE.
independentthinkerdude
moondawg9
Posted 1:24 PM 10/4/08
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the next Governor of California -
Uwe "Fucking Genius" Boll!
I think he best represents the angry German hidden with-in us all . . .
I may not always be able to tell people what I TRULY think, but I rest well knowing Uwe is out there saying things like "I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay!"
I would follow Mr. Boll to the end of the Earth . . .
And most likely will.
moondawg9
bowleen
Posted 2:56 AM 11/4/08
"I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay!" HAS to be the next Defamer T-shirt...
bowleen
Cultmember
Posted 3:37 AM 11/4/08
Cultmember
Dorothy
Posted 2:13 PM 13/4/08
@Whitworthian: Well put.
Dorothy
Dorothy
Posted 2:11 PM 13/4/08
we DO.@independentthinkerdude:
Dorothy
Dorothy
Posted 2:10 PM 13/4/08
Uwe Boll's command of English should be an embarrassment to any semi-intelligent German, most of who can speak it far better than us.
@nick_r:
Dorothy