RSS Feeds
Papa Joe Simpson Officially More Ruinous To Daughters' Lives Than Dina Lohan
Posted by Molly Friedman at 7:00 AM on April 25, 2008
Has Joe Simpson gone from a pimpy fame-hungry Dadager to a bonafide nutcase? Not that we're surprised or anything, but his recent interferences with daughter Jessica's "relationship" with quarterback Tony Romo suggest there may be a few gurney-riding trips in his future. As OK! reports this week, Joe's intrusive behaviour has Romo's family feeling like their son is being used and, even more disturbing, he showed up uninvited to a private Mexico vacation Jess and Tony took earlier this year. According to OK's source, "Whatever hopes Tony had of his relationship with Jessica turning into something real pretty much ended with Joe's stunt. According to his friends, they're pretty much just friends with benefits." But judging from Jess's romantic past, isn't Friend With Benefits pretty much her primary career these days?
When Tony and Jess first got together back in November, rumours abounded that Joe was the mastermind behind the set-up. Jess didn't have a whole lot to do, what with that whole acting attempt disaster weakening any Oscar dreams and, well, Joe was like totally a fan of the Cowboys quarterback! So he pimped her out, just like he'd pimped out boy toy Ryan Cabrera to Ashlee. Making matters worse, ever since Jess's divorce from Nick Lachey, all of her so-called boyfriends tend to appear completely embarrassed around the booby blonde. John Mayer denied their relationship for months, while Bam Margera chose to take the classier route and say all they did was do the deed. It seems that once her boyfriends bed her, Papa Joe enters the picture and frightens them away. We call for a Lynne/Britney-style separation, stat.
[Photo credit: Wireimage]
Tags: ashlee simpson | dina lohan | jessica simpson | joe simpson | john mayer | nick lachey | tony romo
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Benovite
Posted 6:48 AM 25/4/08
I can't wait until those two wacky kids hook up.
Joe+Jessica 4eva
Benovite
raincoaster
Posted 6:42 AM 25/4/08
"Friends with Benefits" is probably the name of her next movie.
raincoaster
Readsforaliving
Posted 6:40 AM 25/4/08
There's some great body language in that picture of the two of them. Head bowed, obfuscated by baseball cap, it's as if he's saying, "I can't believe I'm doing this. I wish I had a bag over my head" while she smiles, teeth clenched, "If you run away, my Daddy will kill you."
Readsforaliving
Dave J.
Posted 6:29 AM 25/4/08
"Whatever hopes Tony had of his relationship with Jessica turning into something real pretty much ended with Joe's stunt. According to his friends, they're pretty much just friends with benefits.
"NFL quarterback disappointed his relationship with busty blond bimbo now limited to just sex, no responsibility."
Dave J.
hummingpenguin
Posted 6:16 AM 25/4/08
skeeeeeeeeze.
i will never trust another youth minister for as long as i live.
hummingpenguin
Old No.7
Posted 6:12 AM 25/4/08
"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
Old No.7
jeckyl
Posted 6:04 AM 25/4/08
Is this an unhealthy father-daughter relationship, or am I just a provincial Midwesterner? Well, I'm likely that anyway.
jeckyl
Desk_hack
Posted 6:03 AM 25/4/08
@hughman: Don't forget the earring.
Desk_hack
pureblarney
Posted 6:02 AM 25/4/08
Ironic that that particular gesture means FUCK YOU in pretty much every other country.
pureblarney
Whiteboyfunfark
Posted 5:58 AM 25/4/08
Uh.....let's see......"You mess with the alligator, you get the jaws?" What a waste of a gin & tonic.
Whiteboyfunfark
hughman
Posted 5:53 AM 25/4/08
the "glasses", the fingers, the t-shirt.
Biggest. Douche. Ever.
hughman
Evanessence
Posted 7:15 AM 25/4/08
Meanwhile down in Texas, that religious cult is missing their leader and two alumni dughters. You know Pimpa Joe scans the headlines just HOPING (like Dr. Phil ready to pounce) he can take over as Pastor of that sect. Because if there's one thing Joe Simpson loves...it's "sects" with teenage girls. Meanwhile, The Teutonic Titwillow continues work on her Country Music album. Oh...yay. Maybe they can get Phil Spector to produce?
Evanessence
EuroDad
Posted 7:49 AM 25/4/08
wow Poppa Joe - the Ed Hardy shirt, the reclaimed-retro Kanye shades, the patented celebutard "peace" sign - and i bet that's just "water" in your glass so you don't get "dehydrated"
EuroDad
psych101
Posted 7:44 AM 25/4/08
@hummingpenguin: Every youth minister I've ever met is a total skeeze. I also grew up in Texas, so I've met Pimpa Joe's kind before.
psych101
Juancho
Posted 7:32 AM 25/4/08
'Coaster, why do you think Aniston did Friends with Money?
Juancho
caffeinequeen
Posted 7:31 AM 25/4/08
@jeckyl:
You know what really freaks me out, aside from Papa Joe's occasional comments about Jessica's chesticles? Some of the lyrics he let his teenage daughters sing! To wit:
* In "I Wanna Love You Forever", Jessica sings "Pour yourself over me/and I'll cherish every drop here on my knees." My mind tends to be pretty dirty, but that sounds like beej talk to me.
* In "La La", Ashlee sings "I'm like an alleycat, drink the milk up I want more". My mind tends to be pretty dirty, but that also sounds like beej talk to me.
In short, Papa Joe = To Catch a Predator material.
caffeinequeen
TurdBlossom
Posted 8:45 AM 25/4/08
This creep is waaaaay to interested in his daughter's assets. Yuck.
TurdBlossom
Evanessence
Posted 9:18 AM 25/4/08
@caffeinequeen: You said: "In "I Wanna Love You Forever", Jessica sings "Pour yourself over me/and I'll cherish every drop here on my knees."
Actually Caff, I think that was a dedication to her mattress-soiling, "golden" days with John Mayer. Let's just say "PURPLE Rain" was NOT their theme song, 'kay? Gross? yes. (we won't even get into the whole "up against the wall, canine-like, sniffing line-up thing"). But as my own blogging ent. attorney says: it ain't a rumor if there's proof!
Evanessence
ekrub
Posted 8:37 AM 25/4/08
God forbid that Romo should butch up and walk away. What a dick!
ekrub
jasonelias
Posted 5:19 AM 26/4/08
@TurdBlossom: Yeah, he even talked about his daughter's boobs.
jasonelias