Omg They R Totez Going Out: The Miranda Kerr And Orlando Bloom Story

As if it hasn’t been patently obvious to anyone with eyes, Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have been in each others’ pants giving each other a good Nichiren Buddhism seeing each other for some time now.

Well, appropriately since Miranda is, how could we forget, A Good Aussie Girl™, they have “gone public” with their luuuurve at the Randwick races this weekend just past - and the Herald Sun didn’t resist the chance to get all romance novel on our asses:

The couple were at ease and very much in love, often stealing a kiss during quiet moments, with Bloom wrapping his arm around Kerr.

Hahaha, “very much in love” has to be one of the most hilariously overused gossip/women’s mags phrases of all time, and follows in the time honoured tradition of celebrity journalist code. So, “very much in love” = “basically dry humping”.

Some other favourites include “finally gained some much needed curves” (= “has been eating all the pies”) and “looking fresh faced and fabulous” (= “for Christ’s sake, put some makeup on you monster”). Feel free to add your own to our growing dictionary.