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New Strain of Medical Marijuana Totally Harshing Tom Cruise's Buzz
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 3:29 AM on April 5, 2008
Tom Cruise has personally —personally— helped hundreds of people get off drugs. And now he will indirectly —indirectly— get you stoned out of your mind! Yes, there's a new strain of medical marijuana hitting the cannabis clubs called Tom Cruise Purple. The vial it comes in has a picture of Cruise laughing hysterically, and the weed is reportedly so powerful that it makes you hallucinate to the point of seeing Overlord Xenu.
And sure, that may sound fun, but think about it. Do you really want to act like Tom Cruise when you're high? Sitting on the couch playing Xbox 360 is way better than jumping on it. Listening to Pink Floyd in your headphones is way better than dancing around to Bob Seger in your tighty-whiteys. Eating nachos is way better than... eh, you get the idea.
Anywho, if you wanna rip a sweet bong load of Tom Cruise Purple for yourself, you'd better break out that club card and act fast. Cruise's notoriously litigious lawyers are already trying to get it removed from store shelves.
[Ed. Note - If anyone happens to have some of the Purple lying around, we would LOVE it if you would forward us a photo of the container. Righteous!]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
PaisleyPajamas
Posted 5:49 AM 5/4/08
Why, why, why would anyone name something so lovely after someone so insane? Why not just call it "Buzz Kill Purple?"
PaisleyPajamas
Leviticus_71
Posted 7:10 AM 5/4/08
The herbs are meant as an escape. And hey, as long as i'm escaping, why not add Batshit Crazy to my list of take out orders?
Leviticus_71
BloodyMary
Posted 6:26 AM 5/4/08
You've gotta be on something strong if you're acting like this fool! he's probably just peeved that someone took it from his bedroom drawer! I didn't think celebrity prayer list was serious but I guess this all makes sense now
BloodyMary
Whiteboyfunfark
Posted 7:55 AM 5/4/08
Now now, Defamer...don't let's be glib...
Whiteboyfunfark
SuperUnison
Posted 8:14 AM 5/4/08
I'm not going to lie, this sounds amazing. Csusing laziness was a factor in making me back off of the pots so if this new strain is laced with powdered thetan crack, I might have to become a fan.
SuperUnison
NotReadyForPrimeTime
Posted 8:12 AM 5/4/08
Okay, so do Cruise's lawyers have to prove damages? This weed is not going to do anything to Tom's reputation that he has not already done to his own.
NotReadyForPrimeTime
Plankton420
Posted 11:19 AM 5/4/08
Which all just goes toward proving a new theory I've been working on for a while now, which states: ANY strain of medical marijuana with the word "purple" anywhere in its name is DEFINTELY worth smoking!
(And for the record, I've hated Tom Cruise since I saw him laugh like an ass in his first Barbara Walters special a million years ago...)
So now I can hate him for a NEW reason: Getting a strain of pot named after him!
My Pot Goals in life are:
1. Smoke with Willie Nelson
2. Smoke with Snoop Dogg
3. Have a strain of pot named after me...
Damn you Tom Cruise! First you ruin Nichole Kidman for me all those years ago, and now THIS!?
Daaaaaaam yooooooou!!!
Plankton420
raincoaster
Posted 1:36 PM 5/4/08
I'm from Vancouver, people.
YOU DON'T KNOW POT!!! I DO!!!
raincoaster
Desk_hack
Posted 6:06 PM 5/4/08
@raincoaster: We have vending machines that distribute pot down here. I think we know our MJ.
Desk_hack
raincoaster
Posted 7:06 PM 5/4/08
Dude, we have a city block with is lined with POT CAFEs! Y'all don't know what you're talking about. Also, did you see what I did there?
raincoaster
Hez
Posted 9:53 PM 5/4/08
The exquisite little detail my friend Raincoaster forgot to mention is that the Vancouver Scientology Centre (yes, we spell it like that here) happens to be exactly one block away from the block with all the pot cafes.
Guess which one I'm more familiar with?
/bong gurgles
Hez