New Contest Entices Amateur Filmmakers to Out-Suck Uwe Boll

Finally! Something constructive has emerged from film culture’s ongoing Uwe Boll Career Deathwatch, and it involves all of us. To wit: “The Uwe Boll Movie Challenge,” which encourages amateurs to make films using the infamously poor standards Boll has been railing about these last few weeks. Think of it like Be Kind Rewind, but with the guiding light of a German hack as opposed to a French aesthete. Check out the criteria after the jump, and get to work already:

To compete in the Uwe Boll Movie Challenge, you must create a short film that meets the following guidelines:

-It must be made at home.
-You must use ketchup.
-You must use a little brother.
-You must not use some bullshit nickname out of the internet.
-You have until May 16th.

Beyond that, anything goes. You don’t have to use Mini-DV. If you don’t have a little brother, you can use someone else’s. … The filmmakers Boll has called out (Michael Haneke, Tom Twyker, Gus Van Sant, Steven Spielberg, Eli Roth, George Clooney, and especially Michael Bay) are encouraged to enter.

Naturally, in keeping with the full trajectory of a Uwe Boll enterprise, there are no awards to be won, except maybe an honorary petition to urge the winning filmmakers to stop making movies. Hell, we’d take it.

• The Uwe Boll Movie Challenge