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Metacritic Ranks '88 Minutes' As The Third Worst Movie Of All Time
Posted by Seth at 4:25 AM on April 18, 2008
A Defamer operative browsing Metacritic happened to notice that 88 Minutes—in which Al Pacino plays Dr. Jack Gramm, an FBI forensic psychiatrist who has (all together now!) 88 real-time minutes to solve his own murder!—has received a Metacritic score of 2. To give you some indication of just how bad that is, 10,000 B.C. got a 34, making Roland Emmerich's exhaustively researched recreation of the Great Mammoth Fur Trade a roughly 1700% better film. But how does it rank against releases of similar or lesser quality?
Somewhat astonishingly, their All-Time Low Scores—a Cinematic Excrement Hall of Fame, if you will—ranks it at #3, bested only by Bio-Dome, and lesser-known, gay-Holocaust-romance-with-supernatural-elements drama, The Singing Forest. (We highly recommend watching the trailer.) With Uwe Boll coming in at a relatively respectable #18 for Alone in the Dark, we imagine it's only a matter of time before the reviled director adds 88-helmer Jon Avnet to his ever-growing shlockteur shit list, filled with those guilty of unleashing far more heinous cinematic crimes upon the moviegoing public than he.
- All-Time Low Scores: The Worst-Reviewed Movies [Metacritic]
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
Magister
Posted 5:19 AM 18/4/08
I followed the link through to the initial list of 200 "bad" films and though I have no opinion of 88 Minutes and will most likely never see it, I did notice Thomas and the Magic Railroad on there (the one with Peter Fonda & Alec Baldwin).
Numerically, I guess using some dude's made-up scoring system, it could rank as a "bad" film, but if you click through to the actual review clips, there's a lot of lines like "if you're above the target age of 5" or "only small kids will like it".
Well, my three year old can't seem to watch it enough, so I guess you have to consider the guy's math and criticism in general, as in the eye of the beholder.
Magister
Leviticus_71
Posted 5:17 AM 18/4/08
@TurdBlossom: How can you dare dis the penultimate Corey vs. Corey flick? In true Vice Versa style, the Corey's really helped me understand the plight of every old man who's garden is trod upon in this crazy world. And Feldman dresses like Mike Jackson...awesome!
Leviticus_71
trojanjustin
Posted 5:02 AM 18/4/08
I'd much rather watch a USA Network marathon of Bio-Dome (complete with the ridiculous 'Character'-themed commercials) than sit through a minute of half the movies on there.
trojanjustin
TurdBlossom
Posted 5:01 AM 18/4/08
To me nothing compares to having to sit through the hell that was "Dream a Little Dream"
TurdBlossom
trojanjustin
Posted 5:01 AM 18/4/08
I'd much rather watch a USA Network marathon of Bio-Dome (complete with the rediculous 'Character' commercials) than half those movies on there.
trojanjustin
mattymcd
Posted 4:57 AM 18/4/08
@Leviticus_71: Bio-Dome is by FAR not the worst movie of all time. It features Kylie Minogue playing a scientist. 'Nuff said.
mattymcd
Leviticus_71
Posted 4:46 AM 18/4/08
WHAT?!?!? Bio-Dome worst movie of all time? Au Contraire...Has Meta Critic never videe'd "Fear" with Marky Mark? The wildly innapropriate fingering scene....on a ROLLERCOASTER! It should have at least cracked the top eight shit bag movies shown above.
Leviticus_71
SanFranBetsu
Posted 5:57 AM 18/4/08
Shouldn't 'Leonard, Part 6" be on that list?
SanFranBetsu
jasonelias
Posted 5:47 AM 18/4/08
Two of a Kind wasn't that bad. I hope Grease 2 and Speed 2 make that list, if not, it's worthless.
jasonelias
cardboardbelt
Posted 5:31 AM 18/4/08
But seriously, 'Dirty Cop, No Donut' is underrated.
cardboardbelt
kepster
Posted 6:24 AM 18/4/08
88 Minutes is AWFUL. Bad bad bad. And unfortunately, it's longer than 88 minutes.
kepster
harshmellow
Posted 7:10 AM 18/4/08
I looked at the list and 88 Minutes is now #6!
IT'S GETTING BETTER BY THE MINUTE!
harshmellow
ObtuseIntolerant
Posted 9:02 AM 18/4/08
@Magister: Yeah, "family" films should be off-limits to such judgment in some sense...
ObtuseIntolerant
mink
Posted 10:16 AM 18/4/08
I'm tempted to see The Singing Forest in an act of sheer movie masochism. But then I have also sat through Glitter and Swept Away of my own free will.
mink
SanFranBetsu
Posted 12:32 PM 18/4/08
@mink: Sorry, hope you've experienced full recovery.
SanFranBetsu
cinerama
Posted 5:01 PM 18/4/08
Please.
Bio-Dome is Oscar-worthy compared to Manos: The Hands of Fate.
cinerama
mink
Posted 4:52 PM 18/4/08
@SanFranBetsu: Almost, thanks but the scars are still there.
mink
drftjgoj
Posted 2:39 AM 19/4/08
@mattymcd:
Uwe Boll's "Alone in the Dark" stars Tara Reid as a "brilliant young archaeologist"...
Beat that.
drftjgoj
e.varden
Posted 1:39 AM 20/4/08
For sheer clumsiness and auteur pretentionyou can enjoy "Susperia" by Argento.
So fucking awful it is hilarious. Like the scene where the scary cook comes after out game little actress Jessica Harper - who musters all her acting chops to not give away that she is in pain, reduced to performing in this POS. ANYway, the cook goes scuttling down the hallway brandishing a meat-cleaver, held like a dagger above her head.
Laugh? I though my pants would never dry!
- And this crapulent effort is considered by some as a Work of Art. No, really!
Makes the watching even more giggle-worthy!
e.varden