K.d.’s Constant Cravings For Police Escorts Leave Vic Police In The Naughty Corner

When you use the phrase “police escort” in the same context as a term like, say, “recording artist”, you generally think of artists like Elvis Presley, The Beatles and Whitney Houston, non?

Well, you can add the bane of sub-editors and style-guides everywhere, k.d. lang, to that list – the Canadian chanteuse apparently required an escort to the Rove studios on the weekend (why? Er, the plane was running late… or something), and it seems Victoria Police are not happy about the indulgence.

Shadow Minister for Police and Emergency Services Andrew McIntosh said overworked police would be disappointed to hear of the “waste of resources”.

“Whether it was paid for or otherwise I would be questioning the value to the community of getting a singer to an interview on time,” he said.

“Providing these resources is jeopardising public safety, when there are stations like Werribee and Sunshine where the resources just don’t exist.”

Well, Mr McIntosh, how do you know, like, that her car, um, might have had to drive through Sunshine and Werribee on the way? Yeah! Maybe she came from Avalon or some shit!

Honestly, this is all pretty stupid, particularly considering the buck-passing that’s going on between her people, Roving Enterprises and Channel Ten. Who cares if she’s late, it’s live TV, make a gag out of it! Put on another of those hilarious stand-up comedians that Rove likes to feature!