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Jews Take A Page From Scientology
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 8:30 AM on April 4, 2008
As a Jew, I've often heard that my people control the media. That's why on my Bar Mitzvah, I was expecting to be handed the keys to a movie studio and told to "have at it, Ketzele". But, it's been years since that momentous occasion, and still no key. Despite my membership in the tribe, I control almost no media. Today, I finally figured out why. I'm not a member of the Entertainment Council of the Jewish Federation of Greater Los Angeles.
According to the Jewish Daily Forward, "a growing group of young executives, writers, directors, actors and agents... have joined the L.A. federation's Entertainment Council in recent months".
The Council is headed up by Meredith Weiss, a former CAA agent who wanted to make Judaism "hip, relevant and cool". And she seems to be going about it the same way L. Ron Hubbard did with Scientology— by bringing in the celebs, baby!
So says the Forward:
"Designed to bring rising Hollywood professionals into the Jewish federated system before they reach the level of a Steven Spielberg or a Sherry Lansing, the council — which launched at the end of January — is fast becoming fertile networking turf for its members."
and
"No film or television deals have been inked just yet as a result of Entertainment Council connections, but members say it's only a matter of time before the relationships they're developing lead to a screenplay being sold or a director landing a job."
I knew all those countless hours in Hebrew school weren't wasted. When's the next meeting? I'm gonna nosh and kibitz my way to a three-picture-deal!
Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
Dio Brando
Posted April 4, 2008 5:54 PM
I was looking for "so we've decided to stalk people, poison their pets, and sue them", but it seems to not be so. What a shame.
Question, though-- don't many still see Judaism as being closed to those who don't have some level of Jewish heritage(adoption or bloodline)?
Anonymous
Posted April 5, 2008 4:52 AM
Judaism and Scientology shouldn't even be printed on the same page.
One is a Genuine Religion,
The other, a Certified Scam.
I find any reference of similarity highly offensive, and hell, I'm a Catholic.
YHWH > XENU any day of the week (and that includes whichever you deem as the seventh).
People Paula
Posted 11:58 AM 4/4/08
@Plankton420: Actually, it exists. I know of a large number of industry people who actually network by playing Halo 3 on Xbox Live. It's like those Hollywood AA meetings, only you don't have to pretend to be an alcoholic to get in.
The trick is finding out the important people's screen names and helping them defeat the Covenant. It's money in the bank from there!
People Paula
Desk_hack
Posted 11:51 AM 4/4/08
Coming soon: Little Mintz and I will be starting the Entertainment Council of the Presbyterian Federation of Greater Los Angeles. Our people are great at starting committees.
Desk_hack
Plankton420
Posted 11:32 AM 4/4/08
Great. Another method of networking to sell my screenplay that I'll never use...
(Why can't someone figure out a way to make deals while sitting on your couch, smoking pot and playing video games?)
Plankton420
Hav
Posted 12:47 PM 4/4/08
I'm going to start the Federation of WASPs. We won't discuss anything until we are drunk.
Hav
gwendemarco
Posted 1:10 PM 4/4/08
Presby Drinkers: Sign me up. I won't actually DO anything because that would be, you know, but it feels so good to belong and be a bit lit.
gwendemarco
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 1:46 PM 4/4/08
@Desk_hack: I was going to order a batch of "Yes, I am silently judging you" t-shirts for the meeting but decided against it since I don't know how to get anything at cost and, well, it is a given, isn't it?
Little Mintz Sunshine
kit10indublin
Posted 2:33 PM 4/4/08
Well, there's yet another belief I truly held dear shattered. Zionists DO NOT control the media?! Dammit it all to hell I say.
This is NEWS, not the 'good news' but news none-the-less.
kit10indublin
Oldboy
Posted 2:18 PM 4/4/08
It's ridiculous to accuse the Jews of controlling the media. They're far too busy managing the World Banking Conspiracy.
Oldboy
SanFranBetsu
Posted 2:55 PM 4/4/08
Do I have to be Jewish to get a little star by my name?
SanFranBetsu
Desk_hack
Posted 3:37 PM 4/4/08
@Hav: @gwendemarco: @Little Mintz Sunshine: Sweet. I have enough scotch in my house that I could practically start my own country club, so the first meeting can be there.
Desk_hack
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 4:56 PM 4/4/08
@Desk_hack: Gwen's down for the Chex Mix. But hey, not too spicy, mkay? Hav, you're on ice duty. Me? I'll bring the 50-50 mix of sense of entitlement/ self-denial. Oh, and the Triscuits.
Little Mintz Sunshine
Shumina
Posted 3:16 AM 5/4/08
This is more loaded than those deadly nachos I had at South Park night this week. I ain't touchin' it.
Shumina
Sleepyhead
Posted 3:15 AM 5/4/08
Can I bring my Wii, or is that too bourgeois?
Sleepyhead
NotReadyForPrimeTime
Posted 3:14 AM 5/4/08
Oh, man, this headline scared me. I thought the Jews were going to start Fair Gaming the rest of us.
NotReadyForPrimeTime
Hav
Posted 3:47 AM 5/4/08
And everyone will be introduced as [first name, last name] of the [insert place or old money last name] [last name (s)]. i.e Joe Schmo of the Greenwich Schmos.
Hav
Hav
Posted 5:16 AM 5/4/08
Really, we are starting this "federation" asap. First meeting at L.A Country Club or the Beach Club or anywhere we don't have to park or own cars.
Hav
Little Mintz Sunshine
Posted 4:57 AM 5/4/08
@Hav: I'd say you are so much nicer than me, but most are. My standard intro now includes "...yeah, bitch that Mayflower. You got a problem with that Johnny of the Ellis Island Come-Lately's? No? Fine. Then get me a drink."
Little Mintz Sunshine
OldTowneTavern
Posted 7:02 AM 5/4/08
I'm not of the faith so I have a few questions: a) does this Federation have it's own starship? b) on Saturdays do you have to spacewalk to temple? and c) can agnostics get their hands on the prune danishes?
OldTowneTavern
Whiteboyfunfark
Posted 8:26 AM 5/4/08
@SanFranBetsu: That would be a six pointed star. The right-side-up five pointed star is for Wiccans I think. Or maybe anti-Satanists?
Whiteboyfunfark
Whiteboyfunfark
Posted 8:22 AM 5/4/08
My friend Schmuey insists that the Jews don't have hell, they just get stuck paying retail for eternity. Even after some of the crap they produced in Hollywood?
Hey, can I join the Presbys? As a failed Irish Catholic I can guarantee expertise on bar duty (it's the only sin we were ever allowed....) and we always have coffee and doughnuts afterwards. And I'm not getting any support whatsoever from the Gay Mafia these days.
Whiteboyfunfark
Desk_hack
Posted 8:50 AM 5/4/08
@Whiteboyfunfark: Fine, you can work the bar.
Desk_hack
Whiteboyfunfark
Posted 11:55 AM 5/4/08
@Desk_hack: As my late Aunt 'the Colonel'always said "It's five o'clock somewhere!" I'm on it!
Whiteboyfunfark
gwendemarco
Posted 2:17 PM 5/4/08
I'll just recycle grandmama's Cheeveresque stories as my own, stroke my pearls and screw the Puerto Rican houseboy in the laundry room. Oh, WhiteBoy, it's lemonade and black coffee only. This bony ass may be in the DNA, but that doesn't mean it's easy.
gwendemarco
Desk_hack
Posted 6:12 PM 5/4/08
@gwendemarco: DNA or DAR? ;)
And I call dibs on the tennis pro.
Desk_hack