Getting To Know Gabriella Cilmi (Part One)

In anticipation of her forthcoming appearance on Sunday night’s episode of Rove, we thought we’d better start finding out some stuff about Gabriella Cilmi, the Melbourne teenager who is, according to many press reports, going to be the music world’s “next big thing” (and god knows the press never gets that prediction wrong).

Knowing nearly absolutely nothing about Ms Cilmi, we hit the streets – and by streets, we obviously mean “search engines” – and have hastily bashed together a dossier of facts about her which would put self-proclaimed intelligence gathering organisations like the CIA to shame. Or something.

After the jump, let’s begin our GabFest with some nuggets of information about the youthful lass, helpfully presented in easily digestible bullet form.&middot Her name is Gabriella Cilmi, and she is from Melbourne. Which we already told you, so let’s move on.
&middot Her surname is not pronounced Kill-Me, which is good because crazed fans should not be reminded of murderous possibilities whenever they hear an artists’ name spoken aloud.
&middot But if she was an emo kid, perhaps the name would have worked well for her “target demographic”. She does not, thankfully, appear to be emo.
&middot In conclusion, her surname is pronounced Chill-Me, which is quite good because her music is very relaxing.
&middot Not so good if potential crazed fans happen to own an ice truck and the first series of Dexter, though.
&middot She is 16. SIXTEEN! 6TEEN! A rather young age to take on the music business, unless you’re Bindi Irwin. Still, we’re sure Gabriella won’t end up being shipped off to the looney bin in a decades time. That kind of thing never happens after fame and hype is ferociously heaped upon a youthful pop starlet.
&middot She is supporting James Blunt during his May tour of Australia. Which is a pretty good gig if you’re wanting to corner the lucrative Fans Of Coma-Inducing Midget Singers market.
&middot She also supported Rufus Wainwright during his Australian tour back in January. Did he disappoint you, Gabriella, in just being human? (<-- LYRICAL REFERENCE)
&middot She was "discovered" after singing Jumpin' Jack Flash at an Italian street party. Interestingly, so was Alan Jones (if you substitute the words "after singing Jumpin' Jack Flash" with "just hanging out doing nothing lewd whatsoever, officer" and "an Italian street party" with "a public toilet in the West End".)
&middot Her debut album was produced by Xenomania (aka Brian Higgins), who have also had a hand in Cher's "Believe", the amazing "Biology" and "Love Machine" (amongst others) by Girls Aloud, assorted Kylie & Dannii tunes, a Franz Ferdinand B-side, etc etc etc.
&middot Her MySpazz page reveals she thinks bass players are always the hottest, and could live on cooking chocolate (”TUT TUT!” – Dr Rosemary Stanton)
&middot Gabriella’s final revelation in her 13 point “About Me” trivia section on her MySpace page is, oddly, “13. THIRTEEN,thirteen,13,13,13,13,thirteen”

Very good. Soon we shall investigate some clips featuring Gabriella, and possibly even reach an opinion as to whether we think she’s “the shit” or simply “shit”.

“OMG THIS IS AS GRIPPING AS THE ‘WHO SHOT J.R?’ CLIFFHANGER ON DALLAS!” – READERS

Isn’t it though?