Dad Lorenzo Outs Shayne Lamas As The Reality TV Famewhore She Truly Is

In just the four short weeks since we last checked in with dandiest Bachelor ever Matt Grant, the British export has managed to whittle down his harem of colonial concubines to three. Not surprisingly, Shayne Lamas, the needy-but-hot, questionably motivated heir to the Lamas Family acting dynasty, is still in the running, earning her a coveted family visit on last night’s episode.

There, father Lorenzo was able to experience for himself the remarkable, reverse G-force effects of Grant’s soul-sucking personality vacuum. The burrito-smuggling Are You Hot? The Search for America’s Sexiest People panelist also warned his potential future son-in-law (and by extension, all of America) about Shayne’s true intentions, though all doubts were swiftly dispelled the moment she took her suitor’s hand and told him, “I am not here for any reason than to be here for you,” then leaned in to embrace the pre-selected love of her life, crossed fingers and toes safely hidden from the ever-present cameras.

• The Bachelor: London Calling [ABC]