Channel Nine Investigated Over Claims Of Paying Incest Couple For Story; We’ll Make No ‘Boning’ Gags Here, Thanks

Well, just as we were rejoicing in the aisles over some happy Channel Nine-related news, it looks as though it’s back to black – and then some – for the beleaguered television behemoth, with word that police are investigating claims incest couple John and Jenny Deaves may have pocketed mad 60 Minutes cash for telling their story.

And, as we all now know, they may be “in love”, but they are also father and daughter, which makes them criminals.

The couple was convicted in the South Australian District Court in Mount Gambier last month of two counts each of incest relating to the conception of Celeste, and another baby who died in 2001 from a congenital heart defect.

Convicted criminals cannot profit directly from their crimes under Australian law.

Hamish Thomson, the executive producer of 60 Minutes, told The Australian that money was offered to the couple.

“We bought them some clothes and they might have to move town and we have offered to give them some money to cover the costs of their move, if that happens,” he said.

“We bought them some clothes because they are very poor. We literally bought them clothes for filming, from Target.”

A police spokesman said officers from the southeast district, which covers Mount Gambier, were looking into the case.

“The matter is being investigated but police are not commenting on it,” he said.

The terrible thing about all this is the repeated attempts to drum up sympathy for their situation – just in love, give us some privacy and respect, we’re too poor to buy clothes – and it almost works… until you remember that, especially as “consenting adults” (as they were at pains to stress on 60 Minutes, they should know better than to a) enter into an illegal incestuous relationship and b) bring children into it.

But why are we not at all surprised it was 60 Minutes who managed to unearth this pair, and that the show may have broken the law to do so?