Bra Boy Surprised To Find That Bonking Gf On Head With Stick And Dragging Her Back To Cave Does Not A Willing Bride Make

Evidently Koby Abberton and his ilk are the talk of Tinseltown after their tiresome “we can’t help bashing c–ts, we just had a hard childhood ‘n’ shit” doco The Bra Boys premiered this week, but he’d give all the hype in the world to make model girlfriend Tahyna Tozzi (no, we don’t know how you’re meant to pronounce “Tahyna” either) his wife:

“This is not my dream at all – I really don’t want to be here to tell you the truth,” Abberton told LA correspondent Peta Hellard.

His real dream, if his declarations of love were any indication, is to settle down with Tozzi.

“I ask her to marry me every single day, but she keeps saying no,” he said.

A tip for Koby (apart from, you know, perhaps distancing yourself from boof-head gangs and getting in bar brawls): most women aren’t massive fans of the cro-magnon-man neck-grip technique:

We’re inclined to think that if Abberton had a comic-book speech balloon attached to his head in that photo, it would read something like: “Ooga booga, dis mah woman, you no touchem!”