Ashlee Simpson Exclusives Not Worth The Pretty Penny Papa Joe Was Hoping For
We were admittedly underwhelmed upon hearing that lip sync princess Ashlee Simpson and her guyliner-sporting beau Pete Wentz were planning on tying the knot, but we are somewhat pleased to hear about all the trouble it's causing Papa Joe Simpson. Unsurprisingly, the engagement seems to be the result of Pete "doing the right thing" after knocking up his girlfriend. And in an attempt to turn a sticky situation into a pot of gold, minister-turned-Dadager Joe is allegedly trying desperately to make some quick cash by selling his daughter's story to the weeklies, conveniently timed to coincide with her upcoming album's release:
"'Joe is contacting all the weeklies and asking them to pony up $1 million to put Ashlee on the cover'...Sadly, there is some interest - but not for anything close to $1 million."So how much is an Ashlee cover worth these days? Apparently just as little as Lindsay Lohan demands for taking her top off on-screen...
As magazine sources tell the NY Post, Simpson will be lucky if she gets $60,000 for a cover story, even one including so-called exclusive revelations about the upcoming shotgun wedding and baby news. Considering the fact that the cat's out of the bag already, Joe may have to wait until the spawn is sprung to use his photography skills towards a big payday. Even Tori Spelling couldn't spark much interest in her backyard belly photos, and at least she has a canonized series under her soon-to-break belt. Perhaps Ashlee should take some advice from her new double date companion Nicole Richie and leave her dad out of the picture. Richie scored a decently paying cover story without any help from her dad; maybe Joe should keep his grubby hands out of the photos-for-cash game and let his kids embarrass themselves on their own?
[Photo credit: Getty]
10:05 AM on Fri Apr 18 2008
by Molly Friedman
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Until the words "Executive Producer: Ryan Seacrest" are attached to this, I think we're safe.
TootieFields
@e.varden: She's what happens when talentless bimbos divorce big money rap moguls. Like cockroaches and rats I'm afraid we're stuck with her.
Whiteboyfunfark
It's going to be really funny when this proves to be a birth-syncing. I'd like to see her faux dance her way out of the stirrups.
GIDDIYAP!
Shumina
I blame the recession. WWJDFBP? (What Would Jesus Demand For Baby Pictures?)
winniecooper
SORRY TO CRASH THE THREAD, but is there no way to get rid of this plastic Slantella Kimora? Is this not just a bad RuPaul? She/It's horrible. RuPaul is saucy; this thing is a mechanoid from Planet Plastic.
Scram, dammit!
e.varden
Poor Joe can't compete is this Mommy dominated, ambition fuelled entertainment world. He doesn't have the acrylic nails for it. I'm sure his keen business mind has already thought of this but he could simply sell the after birth.
kit10indublin
I have it on good authority that The Daily Breeze is willing to offer $8.50 for the exclusive.
Benovite
It seems like only yesterday she was doing a retarded little Milli Vanilli dance. Gone are the sweet lipsynchers of yesteryear.
monkeyrotica
@SanFranBetsu: Something along the lines of "Okay, the other one was a talentless fake blonde, but this one can't sing either."
Whiteboyfunfark
From minister to pimp. I wonder what Jesus would say.
SanFranBetsu
C'mon, Joe... Dina could do better.
Old No.7
whoa - read that last sentence too fast and it all makes sense...
"maybe Joe should keep his grubby hands out of his kids..."
EuroDad
Bet he's in the delivery room snapping away then tries to sell both pics and the afterbirth to the highest bidder.
TurdBlossom