Anonymous Celebrity Seeking Personal Assistant to Get Directions, Wash Car, Chew Food...
Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 2:55 AM on April 12, 2008
Give your notice! Get your resumes polished! A caps-lock challenged "A-list CELEBRITY MUSICIAN/ACTOR" is making the HR rounds this week, in search of a personal assistant
who stands to gain lucratively ($1,000/week! Net!) for doing everything but tucking our anonymous prima donna into lavender-scented slumber every night — though we presume that's not far behind. Follow the jump for some of the criteria you need to make this thankless gig your own.
Be a willing ear to listen to Artist new creative developments while creating new music projects as well as helping Artist to prepare for movie auditions; including script readings, internet research and shopping for audition wardrobe. ...Oversee the maintenance and upkeep of multiple residences as well as Artist Automobile(s).
Must be comfortable navigating throughout the Los Angeles Area with the ability to give directions including short cuts. ...
Must be professional, ethical, reliable, organized and multi-task oriented. Confidentiality, discretion, diplomacy and resourcefulness are imperative as is a positive attitude. You should naturally possess a nurturing, compassionate and very personable disposition. Be comfortable as a caregiver with some natural instincts. Nothing over-bearing, just the basics. ...
Know when to have a laid back approach/personality; observing when the Artist is in a creative mode as well as when to assert yourself when on the road and handling business.
Naturally we wonder which industry dynamo requires a college-educated slave simply to read GPS data and take the Mercedes over to Jiffy Lube. That said, $50K per year seems like a small price to pay for an assistant with the "natural instincts" for caregiving and "observing" when the capital-A Artist is in a "creative mode." At least there's some travelling involved; bone up on your state-fair concert circuit and we expect you'll be light years ahead of the game come interview time.
- Celebrity Personal Assistant [Craigslist]

Comments (AU Comments · US Comments)
There are currently no AU comments for this post.
RocketRockit
Posted 3:22 AM 12/4/08
Miley Cyrus.
RocketRockit
sassydeerrun
Posted 3:19 AM 12/4/08
I thought it was Keanu Reeves until it said 'multiple residences'.
sassydeerrun
CourageousCoward
Posted 3:17 AM 12/4/08
Dear Jeff Goldblum, Kevin Bacon or Dennis Quaid:
A. You are no longer "A-List"
B. Your bands suck!
CourageousCoward
whoneedslight
Posted 3:12 AM 12/4/08
Jeff Conaway.
whoneedslight
miss_msry
Posted 4:18 AM 12/4/08
For only 52K net you expect me to be your mother? Cheap-ass A-listers.
miss_msry
Readsforaliving
Posted 4:16 AM 12/4/08
I thought it might be Britney, but there was no mention of knowing the location of every Starbucks in the Los Angeles area.
Readsforaliving
MidTwix
Posted 4:12 AM 12/4/08
Britney!!!
MidTwix
Rob Murphy
Posted 5:22 AM 12/4/08
Hey all!
This same "Musician/Actor" was looking for an assistant back in February:
[idolator.com]
Rob Murphy
kelbutt
Posted 5:19 AM 12/4/08
I'd like to know why the parenthetical on Automobile(s). Artist has multiple residences, but one car? Is thinking of buying another?
kelbutt
blackheartededitor
Posted 5:07 AM 12/4/08
Not an Artist. THE Artist. Prince.
blackheartededitor
crackbabyjesus
Posted 5:43 AM 12/4/08
Eeeew! Jared Leto wants you to know when he's feeling emo and when he's not.
crackbabyjesus
juniperjenny
Posted 6:11 AM 12/4/08
Have I just had crap jobs? This doesn't sound that bad to me...
juniperjenny
Imnotatnbc
Posted 6:01 AM 12/4/08
Since there was no "must also have an encyclopedic knowledge of art deco baseboards and Gustav Klimt" we know it's not Streisand.
Imnotatnbc
Lulamaybelle
Posted 5:58 AM 12/4/08
I'm going to guess either Val Kilmer or Jamie Foxx.
Lulamaybelle
sundaeg1rl
Posted 6:51 AM 12/4/08
Well, that job was snapped up quick! Craigslist have already removed it!
sundaeg1rl
Leviticus_71
Posted 6:42 AM 12/4/08
I thought Ethan Hawke was dead? Right?
Leviticus_71
CourageousCoward
Posted 6:18 AM 12/4/08
@juniperjenny: Wow! You need to go to Rite Aid RIGHT NOW and get some of those "read-between-the-lines" glasses!
CourageousCoward
Nunaurbiz
Posted 7:07 AM 12/4/08
Osama Lufti need not apply.....
Nunaurbiz
raincoaster
Posted 1:06 PM 12/4/08
Beyonce.
raincoaster
moondawg9
Posted 9:57 AM 13/4/08
Would you people shut the f**k up?!! Can't you see I am in "Creative Mode"?!!
moondawg9
CrankYank
Posted 5:06 AM 14/4/08
@CrankYank: Strike that, totally Teri Hatcher.
CrankYank
CrankYank
Posted 5:05 AM 14/4/08
Bruce Willis? Doesn't he have an assistant for every automobile?
CrankYank