Poor Val Kilmer. I look at him now and all I see is two Madmartigans.

pureblarney

I think I'm going to throw up.

I think I'm going to throw up on you, Oprah.

Old No.7

Now that Fat Oprah is back, I don't think wicker is allowed on set....

inkydinkydo

@pureblarney: he's in better shape than cruise. "kiss kiss bang bang" was miles above anything TC has done in years.

hummingpenguin

Gotta wonder how much groveling TC had to do in order to get back into Ope's good graces. I seem to recall a wedding snub.

TurdBlossom

I don't know that we're in the green zone yet. A Risky Business special? Doesn't this mean he's going to slide across Oprah's freshly oiled stage in a pair of briefs with Katies face stretched across his buttcheeks, then whip of his RayBans and start tossing E-meters into the audience?

NoWireHangers

Is it too late to wish for a Wicker Man tie-in?

raincoaster

I can't wait until she tells the audience to stand on top of their chairs; rumor has it whoever falls through gets a new car.

OldTowneTavern

@turdblossom Katie is going to have the next "baby" on Oprah's show.

jeckyl

Now that I think about it, don't do it Tom! Oprah's probably still bitter she wasn't invited to the wedding and just laying in wait. She'll Frey your ass into a million little pieces... and then give everyone a car. Diabolical! Oh, how I adore her!

OldTowneTavern

When are we, as consumers, going to signal "celebrities" like Okrah that we are TIRED and, frankly, SICK of their choices for people ('stars') that we should be interested in ?

When are we going to start to tell celebritards like Okrah, who can't even keep her own weight from wildly fluctuating from the trim hundred-thirties to the bloated, leaking two-hundred-forties, that we don't trust them with chosing other 'celebritards' to watch and emulate ?

Teeny Tom Cruise Mapother is a liar, a cheat, and a member of a cult that celebrates the dominance of an outer-space alien nation against our human race. His cult calls Earth by the name "Teegeeack," and explains most natural phenomena as being foreordained by a boozy, pill-popping failed sci-fi writer by the name of L. Ron Hubbard.

There isn't a single thing in this wacky cult's belief system that is worthy of the interest of a child who has reached the third grade...and yet dozens of HollyWeird 'stars' and 'starlets' have fallen for this cult of greed and death.

So why is blubber-lipped Okrah having this loser Cult-Member on her show again ??

And there surely is NOTHING in this filthy CULT that should make us, as Americans, support the movies or any other industry supported by the $cientologists or their misguided, robot-like adherents.

FlangeSqueal

@FlangeSqueal: Amen, dude. The selection of celebrities with which to make small talk on the tee vee is far too important to be left in the hands of entertainers!

raincoaster

@FlangeSqueal: I hate Cruise but love the fact that he makes an ass out of himself when left to his own devices like when he lost his sh*t on Matt Lauer. It at least has shaken his credibility for anyone who still thinks Scientology is not a cult. I take exception to the "blubber lips" comment, tho. Is it because Oprah's black? I don't hear anyone saying that about Angelina Jolie. That's just not cool.

BQX

@FlangeSqueal: "blubber lips" and "okrah"? these people are the last of your problems, you racist fucktwat. seth, send this asshole to the audit center.

bess marvin, girl detective

@FlangeSqueal: What a mad crazy world. Now my new problem is, "Do I watch this Oprah episode to watch how they will go over the now infamous jumping-round-I'm-in-so-much-love-I-can't-contain -myself-anymore?" Or do I pass to hear that later on it was a big non event and they didn't talk about the jumpy jumpy koo koo moves? I don't like the social practices of Scientologists either. (Youtube)I've read about the mother ship, and have seen the "Battlestar Galactica" style ceremonies and I just want to just slap someone. There are so many ways of worshiping only one God it's mind boggling. He made a mistake by being a spokesperson for that organization. It's not considered a religion in many parts of the world.

I say white plastic lawnchairs from Home Depot--as long as Oprah doesn't lean back, things will go swimmingly.

Superstarsteve

@bess marvin, girl detective: Thankee, darlin! My words exactly.

pureblarney

Come on. Blubber lips ain't necessarily racist. Chill the fuck out racism police. And the dude's right. Tome Cruise is a dangerous spokesperson for a murderous cult and he shouldn't be given any more airtime.

Benny

@pureblarney: That's Charlemagne. My bad.

pureblarney

...celebritards like Okrah, who can't even keep her own weight from wildly fluctuating from the trim hundred-thirties to the bloated, leaking two-hundred-forties...

I call less racism, and more who the fuck are you for calling shots on her ability to control her own stress levels? Just how many PR circuits have you sat through? Go build yerself an empire, Charlegmagne, and report back here with your BMI and your white noise so the public can cut you a new one.

pureblarney

Bad news. I just read a report on this upcoming segment, and Oprah is raving about Tom's butt. Apparently she is mesmerized by it.

So I guess we won't be hearing any hard-hitting Scientology questions.

I had a tiny glimmer of hope that Oprah would not sell out.

NotReadyForPrimeTime

@NotReadyForPrimeTime: So Oprah is a man after all and Stedman is a gay man because, believe me, the ratio of men who rave about TC's butt to women who do same is about 10,000 to 100.

gwendolyn

@gwendolyn:

I believe you just came up with the only rational explanation for what's happening here.

NotReadyForPrimeTime

@Benny: wow, i want the drugs you're smoking.

bess marvin, girl detective

@raincoaster: with Kingsford Charcoal and that special sauce: [www.walkerswood.com]

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