Here we are, folks. It is time to live blog the hideousness/wonderfulness of this evening's Big Brother launch. I'll be doing this in the first person as, quite frankly, I can't be buggered with the trouble of wrangling tenses.

Onwards, after the jump!

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As if it hasn't been patently obvious to anyone with eyes, Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have been in each others' pants giving each other a good Nichiren Buddhism seeing each other for some time now.

Well, appropriately since Miranda is, how could we forget, A Good Aussie Girl™, they have "gone public" with their luuuurve at the Randwick races this weekend just past - and the Herald Sun didn't resist the chance to get all romance novel on our asses:

The couple were at ease and very much in love, often stealing a kiss during quiet moments, with Bloom wrapping his arm around Kerr.

Hahaha, "very much in love" has to be one of the most hilariously overused gossip/women's mags phrases of all time, and follows in the time honoured tradition of celebrity journalist code. So, "very much in love" = "basically dry humping".

Some other favourites include "finally gained some much needed curves" (= "has been eating all the pies") and "looking fresh faced and fabulous" (= "for Christ's sake, put some makeup on you monster"). Feel free to add your own to our growing dictionary.

The geek in us shed a little tear this morning when we read that Tristram Cary had passed away aged 82.

The British born Australian resident was an electronic music composer and pioneer, musique concrète exponent, academic, and designer of sythesisers (he also had possibly the greatest 80th birthday cake ever).

But the geek in us also shed a little tear when we read the intro to this AAP piece that news.com.au were running:

Tristram Cary, the composer of the Dr Who theme tune and a pioneer of electronic music, has died in Adelaide aged 82.

Plenty of other news outlets have run with the story, including The Age.

Science fiction history, AAP, you're doing it wrong!

Firstly, it's Doctor Who, and secondly, the Doctor Who theme song was composed by Ron Grainer and Delia Derbyshire. Cary did compose for Who, but it was incidental music.

Honestly, do AAP know who they're dealing with? Did they think the geeks just wouldn't notice this sort of stuff up? Is it too much to ask for "The National News Agency" to get their facts straight before they offer them up for distribution and syndication?

Or do we just need to stop playing with our Dalek toys?

The prize for moronic entertainment news coverage of the day goes to the Daily Telegraph (surprise, surprise!) for their efforts in reporting the shooting of a film in Sydney, Cedar Boys, that aims to challenge the public's misconceptions of young Lebanese men.

Sounds like an interesting project, doesn't it? Except you wouldn't really know it from the way the Tele promoted the story, which can really be summed up by this picture their art dept whipped up for the piece (the flick happens to also star Rachael Taylor from Transformers in an incidental role.) :

It could just be us (though it's the Tele, so it probably isn't), but this whole thing makes us think of the brainstorm that went into this piece, which probably went along the lines of: "Okay team, we need to do a 'think piece' on this low budget movie about Lebanese youths in Sydney, except no one wants to read about those scary Lebs. Anyone got any ideas? Yes, you up the back... Why yes, let's make sure everyone knows that it's okay, there is a hot Anglo woman in the cast!"

Alright, so it's Monday afternoon and we're only just writing about Todd McKenney's long weekend adventures. There's a good reason for that. Occasionally in this blogging caper, a story comes along which is so good, so dramatic, so hilarious, and so unbelievable that even though you have eighteen thousand things to say about it, your noggin actually begins to overload with blogger glee and you're rendered silent for days as you come to terms with how phenomenal the story you're on the verge of writing about is.

You can imagine, then, how our brain whirred out of control when we spoke to Our Gay (Defamer Australia's official Euro Correspondent, Sir Will Fop) late on Saturday night and he piped up "Oh, have you read that Todd McKenney story which has just popped up online? Apparently he's been arrested. Found passed out in a park in the afternoon with GHB in his pocket. He's blaming it on haters, saying he's been framed. Hugh Jackman has put out a statement saying "My heart goes out to him" and called the news absolutely terrible."

DING DING DING DING DING DING! That's the sound of our ability to comprehend such a development reaching its absolute limit.

Thankfully we've had some time to ponder, reflect, and accept. Let's do this shit after the jump.

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The Chaser team come out on top!

The NSW Department of Public Prosecutions has dropped charges against the ABC's Chaser team arising from a TV stunt at last year's APEC Summit.

During the stunt, a fake motorcade was waved through two APEC security checkpoints in Sydney. Giles Hardie, a video producer who was one of the extras running alongside the Chaser limousine, said he was relieved at the news.

He was charged with entering an exclusion zone under laws enacted specifically for the summit in Sydney. Ten men - including two of the show's stars, Julian Morrow and Chas Licciardello - and one woman were charged.

"I think relief is a word that springs to mind," Hardie said.

...

"This is just a great relief, it's a great weight off our shoulders that's been hanging over us," Chaser cast member Chris Taylor said.

The dropping of the charges would allow the comedy team to better focus on upcoming projects.

"We'll now be in a position to block out the rest of diaries knowing a couple of us won't be serving time in a jail cell," he said. "We'd been treading water until this matter has gone away. We're looking at returning to the ABC in some form either by late this year or early next year."

Huzzah, bravo, etc!

We laughed last week when we read Canal Road star Paul Leyden had spilled his guts whilst being interviewed on a Brisbane radio station, announcing that working with John Cusack had been a horrible experience due to the Hollywood's star's prima donna on set antics.

"Well," we thought quietly to ourselves, "probably not the best thing to do when you're just starting to make some headway in showbiz. Traditionally it's best to keep mum about the countless dribbling idiots and egomaniacs you encounter in the movie business until you're hugely rich and famous enough to not have to worry about the backlash. Ballsy move, Leyden..."

Clearly someone has given Paul Leyden a heads up on this fact, and he's now attempting to tack on an unconvincing "... just kidding?" to his previous anti-Cusack comments.

Canal Road pin-up Paul Leyden has done some serious back-pedalling since calling Hollywood heavyweight John Cusack a prima donna this week.

Leyden said he was gutted when his "jovial" jibe from a Brisbane radio interview popped up in papers.

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Let us begin this post-long weekend working week with something simple, short, and highly enjoyable - a cat playing with a theramin.

It's the "WTF?" expression on the second cat's face at the end that kills us.

(Via the b3ta newsletter)