Friday, April 25, 2008
Short Ends: Brad Pitt Getting Blown
10:40AM Mark Graham | By the WIND, people. Get your minds out of the gutter! Bonus besteverness? Directed by David Fincher. [Creativity Magazine] Nerds rejoice! Guillermo del Toro has finally signed on to direct the long gestating LOTR prequel, The Hobbit. He will be spending the next four years (!!!) in New Zealand alternately shooting the film and polishing Peter Jackson’s Oscars. [Variety] Speaking of hobbits, Elijah Wood’s latest movie includes his first on-screen sex scene. Disturbingly, the scene involves spaghetti. No word yet if spaghetti sauce is also involved, but if it were, we hope they used Trader Joe’s Organic Vodka Sauce. That’s our fave. [Thighs Wide Shut] And since we’ve clearly got sex on the brain, here’s video of a topless Mischa Barton straddling what looks to be the poor man’s James Van Der Beek. The footage comes from some movie that, thanks to the magic of The Internets, you never have to actually see! [Egotastic] And lastly, Amy’s Robot asks what could be the most important question of our times (or, at least, the last few hours): “Are you aware that Tina Fey’s husband looks like this?” Actually, we did not. [Amy's Robot via Fimoculous] More »
‘Done Deal’: Jimmy Fallon To Replace Conan O’Brien In ‘09
10:10AM Molly Friedman | Rumours that notorious SNL line-flubber Jimmy Fallon might replace Conan O’Brien following his move to The Tonight Show have been floating around for over a year now. But today, Fox News adds some real substance to all the chatter by boldly reporting that “it’s a done deal.” Debates will inevitably and endlessly ensue regarding Fallon’s ability to fill the shoes of everyone’s favourite red head (with all apologies to the late Lucille Ball), especially considering Fallon’s lack of experience as a writer or improviser. More details from Fox on how Fallon is handling the news and when we can expect an official announcement, after the jump. More »
BREAKING: Wesley Snipes Has Three Years In Prison to Prepare For Next Role
9:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Word just over the transom at Defamer HQ notes that Wesley Snipes’s tax-evasion hobby will cost him dearly — as in three years in federal prison. Not even character-boosting letters from Denzel Washington and Woody Harrelson were enough in the end to save Snipes from his fate, which was saluted today by US attorney Robert O’Neill: “[Y]ou have to pay your taxes. … To continually just say, ‘I don’t owe taxes, you must show me why I owe taxes,’ it seemed his position was ludicrous.” More »
Variety today predicted that next month could …
9:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Variety today predicted that next month could be Hollywood’s biggest May ever, with four consecutive weeks of big titles — Iron Man, Speed Racer, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian and Indiana Jones 4 — leading the way into the more conventional blockbuster season of June and July. Of course, it was only a couple of weeks ago when some analysts suggested that a weak May hinted at an overall weak summer to come, but Pamela McClintock takes a more optimistic view: “For studios, the question isn’t whether three of the May films can shoot past the $300 million mark domestically, as Spider-Man 3, Shrek the Third and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End ultimately did,” she notes. “The question is whether the product is strong enough as a whole to make up for the lack of the three mega-franchises. … Speed Racer, rated PG, may not open as big as the others but could have strong legs.” Also of note: the bankable chick flicks Made of Honor and Sex and the City, whose $100 million won’t be enough to break those studio heads’ falls if and when their tentpoles snap. We’ll know where to look for casualties in about a month. [Variety] More »
Jason Segel’s Penis Revealed Just In Time For Debate at ‘Vanity Fair’ [NSFW]
8:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Wednesday marked the first time in four days that Jason Segel didn’t publicly recount his bestselling short story Getting Dumped While Naked, but that didn’t keep his bare ween off the minds of close observers from Videogum to Vanity Fair. While one went the think-y route in exploring the Segel’s phallus phenom, the other was the first to procured a screenshot of the actor’s famous wang in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Guess which was which? Or just follow the jump for your prurient full-frontal fix. Remember, NSFW! More »
Naomi Campbell’s Bad Luck Streak Continues As Her Hair Decides To Jump Ship
7:45AM Molly Friedman | Long ago, we witnessed the frightening effects a bad weave can have on someone like Tyra Banks. Then, we had the misfortune of seeing what happens when John Travolta grew crops of fake hair atop his jolly head. And of course, who can forget Jude Law’s T-bone-shaped crew cut earlier this week. But leave it to sanitation worker/phone-throwing criminal Naomi Campbell to reveal the worst and most gruesome display of ‘do disasters. Seems even legendary female supermodels who’ve made a living off their looks can suffer from a condition we’ve often seen featured on late-night infomercials: ladies losin’ their hair. The evidence lies after the jump. More »
Papa Joe Simpson Officially More Ruinous To Daughters’ Lives Than Dina Lohan
7:00AM Molly Friedman | Has Joe Simpson gone from a pimpy fame-hungry Dadager to a bonafide nutcase? Not that we’re surprised or anything, but his recent interferences with daughter Jessica’s “relationship” with quarterback Tony Romo suggest there may be a few gurney-riding trips in his future. As OK! reports this week, Joe’s intrusive behaviour has Romo’s family feeling like their son is being used and, even more disturbing, he showed up uninvited to a private Mexico vacation Jess and Tony took earlier this year. According to OK’s source, “Whatever hopes Tony had of his relationship with Jessica turning into something real pretty much ended with Joe’s stunt. According to his friends, they’re pretty much just friends with benefits.” But judging from Jess’s romantic past, isn’t Friend With Benefits pretty much her primary career these days? More »
This just in! Swaggering $3 million man and …
6:30AM Defamer Hollywood | This just in! Swaggering $3 million man and new Yoko Ono lawsuit target Ben Stein responds to his latest nemesis via press release: “So Yoko Ono is suing over the brief Constitutionally protected use of a song that wants us to ‘Imagine no possessions’? Maybe instead of wasting everyone’s time trying to silence a documentary she should give the song to the world for free? After all, ‘imagine all the people sharing all the world…You may say I’m a dreamer But I’m not the only one I hope someday you’ll join us And the World can live as one.’” No doubt a fitting rejoinder from a man who once provided legal counsel to Richard Nixon. Good luck, Ben! [Movie City Indie] More »
Yoko Ono to Compete in Special Courtroom Episode of ‘Win Ben Stein’s Money’
6:25AM Defamer Hollywood | As one might have expected following the opening-weekend success of his anti-Darwinism documentary Expelled: No Intelligence Required, everybody in town wants a piece of Ben Stein. Among them: Yoko Ono, a huuuuuge Stein fan from back in his Nixon speechwriting days who nevertheless bristled at the part of the film that featured “Imagine” without the John Lennon estate’s permission: In a lawsuit filed in federal court in Manhattan, Ono accuses the producers of Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed of suggesting to viewers that those who guard John Lennon’s legacy somehow authorised or sponsored the film. More »
